The mere fear of increasing the chance I might do something like this is why I have a 1 drink limit in an evening for myself.  I have enough trouble with it stone sober.

This is why I will never drink. #1 the drinks are gross, #2 not having control over my actions appalls me. 

@Bombastinator Yeah, mistakes were made...wasn't planning on drinking but someone convinced me to drink a little...and it escalated from there. 

@DrMacintosh Too bad I live in a country where the university culture is to drink a lot and get blackout drunk every day...

In my defense, I've only ever gotten drunk 3 times before but they were always with my closest of friends so getting judged meant fuck all for me plus they knew me well enough that if I did anything fucking stupid, they wouldn't take it to heart. 

Conventional wisdom is find out what you did and attempt to make amends.  It rarely produces a useful result, but I personally find it sometimes helpful with the wanting to jump off a bridge bit. Not always, or even all that often, but sometimes.

@Bombastinator Thing is, the way it was worded didn't directly suggest I did something but instead, I triggered a previous trauma they've had. I'm just really worried that I triggered something really, really bad, which is not what I wanted at all  

blackout drunks often do so much damage to others that even their presence can trigger ptsd in previous victims.

it doesn’t matter if you wanted it or not.  What happened happened.