Hate to hear this, I really do. All you need is people who care about you. If ist internet friends that's okay. What ive learned is that a girlfriend won't get you there, all you need are some genuine friends. Also, don't let the actions of bullies get to you, that's their goal (plus, that's their way of dealing with their own insecurities). And suicide did not go well with my school. This kid killed himself and only started a shitshow. People were crying and mourning that didn't even know him, and shooting was even threatened at my school because of it. I had a friend who was depressed for a long time, and he said suicide is a last resort for most people. He said that people like me (one of his best friends) made his life 10x better.