Austin's is a rotting slice of California stinking up the most inspiring state in the country with college kids who sleep until 11 and drink lattes all day while crying about how mean Mr. Trump is being unfair to their entitled and deserving selves granted by the inalienable right of superiority that their college diploma holds with such self evidence. If Amazon wants to come here, absolutely outstanding. You see, the worst part about Austin, being the young, educated but immensely stupid population is that they're easy to impress; At least, easy to impress into paying $1200 a month for a 1-1 on the 5th floor of some dirty tower next to the expressway with an elevator that never works and a staircase that reeks of weed, piss, and rotting alcohol because CLEARLY Austin, Texas is the only place anybody who's somebody would ever even consider living with their rack of clearance Bacardi and a rat dog they "rescued" from an animal rights activist shelter so they can mask their hatred for their sorry and pathetic lives with fake animal love and fruity mixed drinks they learned how to make on Pinterest. And the strangest thing is, they like it. I don't even have to convince them, they just buy it of their own accord. Amazon coming here will keep those silly kids pouring in so I can get a commission every time they sign their vastly overvalued leases that they insist on having so passionately. I say, bring em in by the trainload.
Oh and also, the topless swimming holes are a blast. You've never seen a higher concentration of attractive women.