@Corsair Nick Hi Nick!
I honestly was not expecting company reps to be active on this forum. That's a very pleasant surprise! (also... why wasn't I, this place is HUGE!) To answer your question, yes, the replacement is working great! Though the change in wiring between the older h100i v2 and the h100 pro caused the setup to turn into a cable management adventure, I finally managed to get going again!
With the time it took to get through this, I initially considered getting a different cooler all-together, and maybe even go full custom loop. In the end though, I got really lucky. You see, that whole cooler isn't for my computer, it's for my boyfriend's. He's in first year 3D animation concentration and not having a PC at home to get through his homework was very stressful. Luckily for him, I had a spare laptop that he could use and the bulk of his homework during that last month was done in Photoshop. So, we managed to get through the wait without having to get a different cooler.
I'll still PM you to get that duties' thing sorted though.
As for the fact that this isn't a normal RMA experience, I would like to agree with you. From my past experiences replacing keyboards and PSUs, I've never seen this. Plus, the parts usually get shipped somewhere in Canada if I recall, not all the way in the US so it must have been different people handling the issue. From what I've seen online, it appears that this issue plagues only a few of your products, which is very unfortunate. Like Fakmykak said, he got a similar experience with his Commander Pro, and again, it's not even shipping time, it's just the week long wait between replies.
Anyway, I hope Corsair manage to get this sorted. It really isn't a pleasant or a trustworthy experience.