So while I was in the Second Grade, I was assigned to "design" a kayak. The goal was to develop early engineering skills and critical thinking skills to be able to design a feasibly successful boat. However, as crazed and deranged my mind was back then, I thought we were making a REAL kayak for a REAL boat company. I got online and had help from my dad, an architect, to build a commercially lucrative kayak. Surprisingly, he actually agreed to it. About a week later, I showed my teacher the idea, and she crudely remarked, "You do realize we're building PRETEND boats, right?" Just then, I felt a sudden urge of anger flowing through my veins. All that hard work for nothing? One may imagine that I was exasperated, bitter, and indignant. I felt like I could rip a phone book in half from the anger I felt that day.
The day we celebrated the end of our kayak unit with a party, I decided to take vengeful action. When I poured myself a cup of apple juice from a giant jug for the class, I secretly spit into it. Inconspicuously, I took my apple juice and poured it back into the jug. Apparently, some other kid saw me pouring it back, and told the teacher on me. She got extremely angry; I could see red pouring out of her neck as if she were the ring of fire, covered in volcanoes. I got lunch detention for the next week and a half, and I was docked down one letter grade for behavior (ok this isn't a big deal now, but it was a big deal when I was a seven-year-old). At home, my mother wouldn't let me play video games or watch t.v., and I was a laughing stock in front of my entire school. I also found out my teacher took a sip of apple juice after I poured my dirty spit inside and before she found out it even had my spit. She got the flu that week, so we got assigned to a substitute teacher for the week.
Therefore, if any of you can take one lesson from this experience, don't spit into the apple juice jug unless you hate your teacher's guts. Otherwise, you'll wind up with detention, domestic punishments, or perhaps a spanking from your boss if you decide to this at work. But in another sense, it is technically illegal for a boss to spank his employees since employees can file for sexual harassment, so by all means, spit away! Your coworkers may consider you the company retard if you do this, but nothing satisfies the humanly thirst for revenge than spiting into the juice jug!
Hope you enjoyed this, and please pm me if I won.
