[I hope you enjoy this lighthearted look at operating systems. now please imagine hitchhiker's guide voice in your head for the remainder of the article*]

Far Far Away, long long ago in the awaking land that is the 1950's people got bored, and without the internet and iPhones and interstellar travel, it's easy to see why.. they wondered 'wouldn't it be nifty if this calculator thingy did something fun too?' and they decided Tennis was fun.. 'let's do that!'.* This had been thought of before by others, but they had only succeeded in making a strange christmas tree machine* that got angry when it lost, and often thought to itself, it would have rather been a politician. ... or tennis player.

It wasn't until the Planetial Conglomeration Interstellarfractuation, who are known to the locals as ' I B M' , introduced new tools, GUI and new ways to interact with said calculator, that an idea that an Operating System could be more than just words and numbers, started to form in the minds of those who saw.

The machine was used to make money for them, as well as count money, and was called a 'Till', they used the same code used within this machine as basis for their UNIX architecture. so yes, by association.. Android is based on a cash register. .. others had operating systems, but frankly they weren't very good at much, except at annoying people playing text based adventures due to the inability to save game progress and giving them thoughts of AI world domination.

Sometime later in the land of 70's people took many mind altering drugs that led them to believe this had already happened.

Three companies emerged, to be the leader in the 'operating system with calculator function!'  new technology. Microsoft,  whose time travel technology enables millions today to travel back and laugh at their ancestors, had this slogan: 'operating system with calculator function.. and clock!' .. rival company Apple was the second, the Apple CEO had seen the advert and started his own campaign
'operating system with calculator function ..and *attractive* clock!' while IBM thought this was all too silly and used the slogan 'Calculator.. with bundled operating system'. Due to IBM's campaign and Apple's pricing structure.. Microsoft won by a landslide.


It wasn't until the 1990's that a man claiming to be Linus Torvalds, invented the 'Linux Kernel', he was in fact a bored Microsoft employee from the year 2821, who was tired of the humdrum attitudes of his colleagues always saying to him 'WHY do you want to do THAT??' and  'oh no!! you can't go back to change history!!' ..how wrong they were.

Once Microsoft had dominated the market, they found it sad in their hearts to let the consumer go.. they tried many things to keep the consumer happy. none of which worked, except by chance, they produced an operating system called XP. XP was cheap fast worked.. well none of those, but people seemed to like it anyway because you could change the desktop background to *sexy girls*.. and write 'Elvis Lives!!!' on the screensaver.

and the same is true today.. this is what most people use their calculators for, putting sexy girls on the desktop background and trying to find Elvis in GTA.


I hope you enjoyed : whatever on earth i just said.

and always remember cattleprods should be cleaned before AND after use!

Dava


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Nimrod