Best way to come out to my parents?

[MrDynamicMan]

3 minutes ago, imreloadin said:

Just because you don't appreciate showmanship doesn't mean his parents wouldn't...

On the contrair, I would find it fabulous but I doubt his parents would. 

[Ringthane]

I had a gay friend in high school whose parents disowned her when she told them.  But at least she was free to be who she wanted to be.  I may not be gay myself, but I'm older, and one thing in life I've found to be true is that people are going to be against you no matter what you do, and nothing you can do will change that.  Some people don't like me because I'm overweight.  Some people don't like me because I speak my mind.  Some people don't like me because (in their words) "I'm too smart and made them feel stupid", even though I never did such a thing (at least not that I know of, and if I did so, it was completely unintentional).

 

My point is, people are going to dislike you no matter who or what you are.  The thing about that, though, is that their opinion of you is totally out of your control.  You can't change it, you can't snap your fingers and make them like you.  All you can do is just be who you are.  

 

I can honestly say that if I had a gay son or daughter, it wouldn't matter in the slightest.  But I'm not super-religious like your parents may be.  Also remember they may seem more strict and uptight to you because you're their child, when in reality, they are much more open and progressive than you think.  Whatever happens, you can either be honest with them and deal with the reaction, or continue to keep it inside and deal with the stress and frustration that brings.  It's your choice.  Whatever happens, just be happy.  It may take a while before you can do that, but just enjoy your life.  You'e 18.  Don't let stuff like this get you now, or when you're my age, you'll have a lot more regrets than anyone should have to deal with.

 

And that's all I've got.  Do with it what you will.

[MorganO]

if i had kid and he/she/etc came out as LGBTQ+ i personally would not give a single shit*, they would still be my child and aslong as they are happy then its all good

 

*as in it does not bother me

[stconquest]

So you're gay, no big deal.  The individual that your parents raised, and have grown to know, is still going to be there whether you tell them or not. 

 

If there is some practical reason to tell them, you should.  If you just feel like telling them and are apprehensive, just pretend you have told them.  It is a "bandaid" solution.  Do they really need to know right now?

 

I can say this to you because I know you are mentally capable of tricking yourself to get through the emotion.  You can understand the logic.  Fulfill the emotional need to tell them without actually doing so... for now.

 

Best of luck.

 

Oh one last thing:  If you want to test the waters, try throwing unconventional ideology at them that is not related to sexuality.  Just to see how they react to new ideas or change.

[cummerou1]

Wait until you support yourself, it is better to have that safety net just in case they decide to kick you out.

[iamdarkyoshi]

1 minute ago, cummerou1 said:

Wait until you support yourself, it is better to have that safety net just in case they decide to kick you out.

If I get kicked out, I'm selling my chevy volt and using the funds to move to australia

[cummerou1]

1 minute ago, iamdarkyoshi said:

If I get kicked out, I'm selling my chevy volt and using the funds to move to australia

That is not something you can just *do*, you need a visa before. You would also need to be able to get a job in Australia.

[iamdarkyoshi]

1 minute ago, cummerou1 said:

That is not something you can just *do*, you need a visa before. You would also need to be able to get a job in Australia.

Yeah, but I've got a fair buffer of cash I could use for everything

[minibois]

You should have a clue on what your parents think about homo sexuality right? You never watch the news and hear them say their opinions on things?

Without knowing your parents, it's hard to tell you, how to tell them. 

[cummerou1]

4 minutes ago, iamdarkyoshi said:

Yeah, but I've got a fair buffer of cash I could use for everything

Fair enough, i would just make sure you can actually get that visa (read up on rules) before doing anything.

[divito]

If you're really unsure of their reaction, I would look into possibilities regarding where you might stay before broaching the subject. Whether staying with a friend, or I don't know if you have a job or have saved any money, but even if you have to do a hotel.

Either way, it would be better and more responsible to have some contingencies before you bring up the subject. If they're supportive, then no worries, but at least you'll be prepared should they react negatively.

[chrisholland03]

The likelihood of you getting good advice from an online forum is slim.  You know your situation better than anyone else, and you have people around you who can help assess and guide you better than we can.  I would start the conversation with those people, gauge their reaction, and ask the supportive ones for insight on how your family would react/guidance on how/when to come out to them.

 

Personally, I didn't come out until I was in college.

[PlayStation 2]

6 hours ago, Kumaresh said:

Don't know if I'm allowed to post here though

You can, just don't let anyone try plowing through you though.

 

What I'd recommend is see their stance on LGBT rights and shit like that, and how they feel about it.

[handymanshandle]

4 hours ago, Migo said:

I'd kick my son out of he was a homosexual. I would not be able to accept the fact. Maybe if he was like..bisexual...k. But gay? No thx.

Shiver me triggers matey, you've got me trigger button. 

Seriously though I agree with @Mug's reaction

[iamdarkyoshi]

I've got an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow, and my parents are going. Might be as good of time as any to come out.

[handymanshandle]

1 minute ago, iamdarkyoshi said:

I've got an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow, and my parents are going. Might be as good of time as any to come out.

Well be prepared for the worse if their reaction isn't positive.

[iamdarkyoshi]

8 minutes ago, Kumaresh said:

The timing might look really bad to them. They might take it as you having a sudden realisation after visiting the psychiatrist, or they might even think the psychiatrist has put ideas in your head ( I don't personally know your parents, so I can't tell which reaction they will display, but there are many people who believe psychiatry is a sham.... ) Some background on the conditions behind your appointment would help in figuring out what type of reaction is more plausible.

I've been both mentally and socially depressed, and I feel like coming out would explain a lot

[AshleyAshes]

15 minutes ago, Kumaresh said:

Are your parents overly religious ?

18 hours ago, iamdarkyoshi said:

I live in a completely christian household

 

Like, why even respond to the thread if you can't even read the first post?

[iamdarkyoshi]

1 minute ago, AshleyAshes said:

 

Like, why even respond to the thread if you can't even read the first post?

Theres religious and there is obscenely religious.

 

I'd say my parents are in the middle

[Mooshi]

Show them this. 

 

 

[alicskysareblue]

22 hours ago, iamdarkyoshi said:

I haven't dared...

Do it, find people who lovw you for who you are, sex with someone who truly validates you and loves you is an incredibly uplifting experiance

 

Just dont go to craigslist or grindr.

 

When you feel ready the come out remember no one is forcing you too 

 

Take your time learn about your sexuality, i only learned I liked men last year now Im relearning that yes maybe I like woman as well...just not to the degree as men

 

 

Sexuality can be confusing 

[SukaroBlue]

If i was gay i would never tell my mom unless i was just about to be married. So i would definitely test the waters and have a back up plan like have a job and make sure you have a car in your name. Also if they are really opposed to it it may be worth it to wait quite a while longer to come out. Also you could warm your parents up to the idea like instead of coming out instantly you could just let your parents know you support LGBT groups making less of a surprise when you do come out. But no matter what you have to consider if it's worth risking losing your parents if you do come out or if you don't if it's worth hiding your true self and possibly making your mental health worse. Either option is terrifying so i would make what ever move you make carefully.

[it_dont_work]

As shitty as it sounds, if you might get kicked out protect yourself first and become fully independent.

 

I'd offer some experience from my own family years and years ago, but it isn't really the same. When my brother came out, the reaction from everyone was 'yea we all kinda figured that out already' and literally nothing changed.

[EPENEX]

If telling them will result in them kicking you out of the house, it's probably a good idea to wait. I also do not see a point in telling your family, or anyone other than your mate, about your sexual attractions as they are personal.

[Tr3vor]

come out of your room with some metal getup with upside down crosses and then announce to everyone that you're gay. they'll love it