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Best way to come out to my parents?

Yes, I realize that I could have posted this in the LGBT thread, but it would be drowned in other chit chat lol

 

So I'm gay. Most if not all of my friends (for whom I have precious little) already know, but my parents do not. I live in a completely christian household, and not to start any arguments here, I'm playing along right now, I don't believe it anymore.

 

I'm 18, so they could kick me out at any time, and I fear they might if I come out.

 

But I really hate hiding things and pretending to be someone I'm not, so I want to get this off of my chest before I go (more) insane.

 

Any ideas?

 

Please try to keep this topic as civil as possible, thank you.

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Any idea of how they'd react? Have you, erhem, tested the waters?

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1 minute ago, wrathoftheturkey said:

Any idea of how they'd react? Have you, erhem, tested the waters?

I haven't dared...

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If you think they'd react negatively, as nice as it would be to say 'They are your parents and they will love you unconditionally' the realist answer is 'Maybe don't test the conditions of that unconditional love until you are not dependent on them for shelter or food'.

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Someone my brother knows came out during dinner: "Mom, I'm gay. Can you pass me the potatoes?" Though, I'm guessing this guy wasn't afraid of what his mom would do, but probably just finding it a bit awkward.

 

I'd try discussing the topic of homosexuality with them to see what their opinions are, and maybe tell them how you feel and/or how you realized it without directly stating that you're gay.

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1 minute ago, Tosa said:

Someone my brother knows came out during dinner: "Mom, I'm gay. Can you pass me the potatoes?" Though, I'm guessing this guy wasn't afraid of what his mom would do, but probably just finding it a bit awkward.

 

I'd try discussing the topic of homosexuality with them to see what their opinions are, and maybe tell them how you feel and/or how you realized it without directly stating that you're gay.

That might be worth a shot... I have no clue on where to start though

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3 hours ago, iamdarkyoshi said:

That might be worth a shot... I have no clue on where to start though

If your family watches the news or something, that's usually an inconspicuous way to bring it up. Or in the worst case, you can bring up a news story yourself, or make up something that happened at school with someone else, or something like that. 

 

GL by the way, that's a really tough situation.

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You only come out once so I say you go all out. Have them go to the store or something and tell them you're planning some kind of surprise party for them. Have all of your gay/straight/bi friends come over and get a cake and put up a big banner that both say "I'M GAY" and have everyone wear party hats and have the little noise makers and yell "Surprise!" when they get back :)

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I would keep it a secret if you think they might react negatively. One thing you shouldn't want is to be left out on your own. That being said, you can ask what their opinion is on gay people, and go from there. 

"It pays to keep an open mind, but not so open your brains fall out." - Carl Sagan.

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I'd ask my brother to make them watch a clip that has a homosexuality theme, kind of like those awareness ones and casually ask them what they think about it.

 

I personally wouldn't do it myself since I'm getting mistaken as a homosexual sometimes (and you might too so when you come up to them with that video and ask them, it'll be pretty easy for them to put 2 and 2 together).

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depends, you know them better than anyone else here, would it be better if you talk directly to them in a calm & collective manner but let them know its seriousness, if they're traditional folks they most probably tend to be on the negative side,  but make sure you talk about other relative things first hand don't just bombard immediately & don't expect a certain outcome or response from them as well, i'd suggest you open up to someone you trust the most in your family, then move into talking things over in a proper fashion , its one of the option, but depending on the person it could work against or for you.

 

But i think it's safe to keep to yourself for now , if you know for sure it could get ugly , this depends on how open or closed you are to your family. or you just boldly talk to them about it. best case , most probably they would understand, but expect some cold talks & exchanges for the coming days afterwards. but don't push it too much. You have to deal with things of that nature as well. so be prepared once you commit . & Good Luck Bro .  :) 

 

Details separate people.

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5 hours ago, iamdarkyoshi said:

Yes, I realize that I could have posted this in the LGBT thread, but it would be drowned in other chit chat lol

 

So I'm gay. Most if not all of my friends (for whom I have precious little) already know, but my parents do not. I live in a completely christian household, and not to start any arguments here, I'm playing along right now, I don't believe it anymore.

 

I'm 18, so they could kick me out at any time, and I fear they might if I come out.

 

But I really hate hiding things and pretending to be someone I'm not, so I want to get this off of my chest before I go (more) insane.

 

Any ideas?

 

Please try to keep this topic as civil as possible, thank you.

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Have they given you any reason to suspect they won't approve and kick you out? I want to say tell them though, but if you are dependent on them and unsure of what their stance even is on gays and fear being kicked out on your own, you shouldn't do it.

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Show them a movie with strong overtones of homosexuality or having homosexuality as the main theme and gauge their reactions. Or just sit with a newspaper in hand staring at an article related to LGBT stuff and innocently bring up their views into the conversation.

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5 hours ago, imreloadin said:

You only come out once so I say you go all out. Have them go to the store or something and tell them you're planning some kind of surprise party for them. Have all of your gay/straight/bi friends come over and get a cake and put up a big banner that both say "I'M GAY" and have everyone wear party hats and have the little noise makers and yell "Surprise!" when they get back :)

This makes me wish I was gay.

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48 minutes ago, Kumaresh said:

Don't know if I'm allowed to post here though o.O

Well, if you're under 13, you may want to get your parents' permission to browse the internet.

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If there's even the potential that you're going to get kicked out, I wouldn't tell them until you can support yourself.

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1 hour ago, Mug said:

If there's even the potential that you're going to get kicked out, I wouldn't tell them until you can support yourself.

I'd kick my son out of he was a homosexual. I would not be able to accept the fact. Maybe if he was like..bisexual...k. But gay? No thx.

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1 minute ago, Migo said:

I'd kick my son out of he was a homosexual. I would not be able to accept the fact. Maybe if he was like..bisexual...k. But gay? No thx.

*shudders*

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3 minutes ago, Migo said:

I'd kick my son out of he was a homosexual. I would not be able to accept the fact. Maybe if he was like..bisexual...k. But gay? No thx.

Someone who is bisexual is still gay. 

"It pays to keep an open mind, but not so open your brains fall out." - Carl Sagan.

"If you place a piece of bread somewhere on Earth, and another one on that point's antipodes, well you made yourself an Earth-sandwich." - Michael from Vsauce.

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1 minute ago, Godlygamer23 said:

Someone who is bisexual is still gay. 

Technically, yeah, you is right, amigo. But a bisexual male can also sex a woman, as opposed to gays. Gays cannot sex women...unless they take the blue pill and act like they like it but that is wrong.

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2 minutes ago, Migo said:

Technically, yeah, you is right, amigo. But a bisexual male can also sex a woman, as opposed to gays. Gays cannot sex women...unless they take the blue pill and act like they like it but that is wrong.

I just think it's lame to kick someone(hypothetically) out for being gay, and then saying bisexuality is okay, when the individual would still be gay.

"It pays to keep an open mind, but not so open your brains fall out." - Carl Sagan.

"If you place a piece of bread somewhere on Earth, and another one on that point's antipodes, well you made yourself an Earth-sandwich." - Michael from Vsauce.

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16 minutes ago, Godlygamer23 said:

I just think it's lame to kick someone(hypothetically) out for being gay, and then saying bisexuality is okay, when the individual would still be gay.

Ok, I am lame. Glad I'll never have kids so I will not have to face facts like this.

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