Get Hired by Lord Gaben in 45 sec

[Mystic Link]

You and Lord Gaben are in elevator at Valve's Headquarters for 45 sec how would you convince him to hire you in a position there

[Unlikelyjoker]

I'm the lead dev for *GAME*

[Syntaxvgm]

Press every floor but "3"

[amas]

Press every floor but "3"

Made me smile more than it should have. 

[Bosco]

I'd let him convince me to work for him since I am 100% not in the correct field to be hired by him.

[Mystic Link]

Press every floor but "3"

3 does not exist its blackout with keylocks on both the third floor and 3rd underground floor

[Albatross]

Press every floor but "3"

 

That just might work!

[The Crazed Child]

show him my porn folder

 

Hint: it's exclusively Gaben pictures

[Guest Philosophy]

I am Philosophy, I used to be a spy. Until... I got burned. When you're burned, you've got nothing: no cash, no credit, no job history. You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in. You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who's still talking to you. A trigger-happy ex-girlfriend... or an old friend who used to inform on you to the FBI...  Bottom line? Until you figure out who burned you... you're not going anywhere. 

I'd say that, perfectly. 

[Syntaxvgm]

3 does not exist its blackout with keylocks on both the third floor and 3rd underground floor

It does, here's the Vavle elevator keypad

[Geno Boost]

I would tell him i would lead there dev team to release half life 4 blowing the minds of the consumers like nvidia skipping 800 series, because trilogy does not apply the Gabenian Physics. 

[XTankSlayerX]

The only reason I'd want to be hired by Valve is to replace who ever calls the shots.

 

I'd rather work for EA to be perfectly honest.

[Syntaxvgm]

Valve doesn't sound like the greatsst place to work anyway

[brokencross]

Lord Gaben

Has he ever gave you any games? 

Has he ever gave you any money?

Has he ever cured AIDS?

Has he ever cured cancer?

Has he ever provided us immortality?

Has he ever solved poverty issues?

Has he ever cured hunger in Africa?

 

>hurr durr, lord gaben xDDD, check my awesome maymay

Stop with that shitty maymay. He's just a neckbeard fatass making money out of your pockets.

[Syntaxvgm]

Has he ever gave you any games? 

Has he ever gave you any money?

Has he ever cured AIDS?

Has he ever cured cancer?

Has he ever provided us immortality?

Has he ever solved poverty issues?

Has he ever cured hunger in Africa?

 

>hurr durr, lord gaben xDDD, check my awesome maymay

Stop with that shitty maymay. He's just a neckbeard fatass making money out of your pockets.

Has he ever gave you any games?

A ton of them

Has he ever gave you any money?

Games are cheaper on steam, so yes, I now have more money

Has he ever cured AIDS?

None one has. I'm sure medicine would be cheaper on steam if it was sold there

Has he ever cured cancer?

None of his employees ever get past stage 3 and therefore stay alive indefinitely 

Has he ever provided us immortality?

He allows us to ascend to a higher state. Our steam library live forever 

Has he ever solved poverty issues?

He's saved many people having having to buy expensive used console games, saving someone potentially hundreds on just a few games alone. 

Has he ever cured hunger in Africa?

The best Bill Fucking Gates, one of the best, if not the best philanthropist in the world could do was throw condoms at them

 

 

 

[Camul]

I wouldn't. I can't make games.

[brokencross]

*a post I expect was written ironically*

Yeah.

[Syntaxvgm]

Yeah.

Don't take the gaben worship seriously, it' mostly a PCMR joke/ At least they are not worshiping that piece of shit human being known as Steve jobs because they are a bunch of lemmings that think someone is great because they bought their product, completely ignoring people like Gates that really do good things. 

[brokencross]

Don't take the gaben worship seriously, it' mostly a PCMR joke/ At least they are not worshiping that piece of shit human being known as Steve jobs because they are a bunch of lemmings that think someone is great because they bought their product, completely ignoring people like Gates that really do good things. 

>PCMR joke

Sure, as if that cancer ridden shithole wasn't inhabited by kids taking their circlejerk seriously. I've never cringed so hard in internet.

[SIGSEGV]

I wouldn't, he's probably ridiculously tired and I'd probablly just end up annoying him.

[grumpygollum]

I am Philosophy, I used to be a spy. Until... I got burned. When you're burned, you've got nothing: no cash, no credit, no job history. You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in. You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who's still talking to you. A trigger-happy ex-girlfriend... or an old friend who used to inform on you to the FBI...  Bottom line? Until you figure out who burned you... you're not going anywhere. 

I'd say that, perfectly. 

I don't think 'Burn Notice' would work on GabeN!

[GuruMeditationError]

 

 I've never cringed so hard in internet.

 

 

...well then you've obviously never encountered me on an internet forum (maybe I should post more of my poetry :thoughtful: ).

 

:wacko:  

 

 

To be honest I'd just be content if he didn't call security (I'm sure I'd have to be there by mistake and a perfectly innocent one at that). :nodding: 

[Guest Philosophy]

I don't think 'Burn Notice' would work on GabeN!

It is so perfect... Maybe change everything about spies to stuff about game developing? I have creates some successful games

[Mystic Link]

I would tell him that iam a good programmer, and tell him to majority stake in AMD to crate steam live, steaming games over the internet to allow weaker pcs, phones, tablet, and steam machines, with AMD cards which are better for open standards open gl/vulcan. and charge 5$ a month for 1080p/60 fps, 3$ for 720p/30 fps, and 15$ for 2160p/60 fps. plans. steam/valve's next multi billion platform/idea. to pressure on nvidia and there future plan on GRID.

[Geno Boost]

I would tell him that iam a good programmer, and tell him to majority stake in AMD to crate steam live, steaming games over the internet to allow weaker pcs, phones, tablet, and steam machines, with AMD cards which are better for open standards open gl/vulcan. and charge 5$ a month for 1080p/60 fps, 3$ for 720p/30 fps, and 15$ for 2160p/60 fps. plans. steam/valve's next multi billion platform/idea. to pressure on nvidia and there future plan on GRID.

Even if were a good programmer is no picnic to get hired in that company that way, but the AMD of buying is interesting since there stock is cheap and there cards have better compute performance and with the htc/steam/amd headset vr, this not a bad idea to expand pc gaming to concole gamers who want a simple way to game anywhere crushing the consoles by making them obsolete.