Sold Computer to a Friend

[VeryBigMish]

Hey LTT community, 

 

I wasn't entirely sure where make this kind of a post, I am really just looking for some advice as I have run into a rather large issue recently and figured a few of you have run into an issue similar to mine. 

So, one of my longtime friends that I have grown up with had recently took up a new hobby / side hustle trying to make some money with photography and videography, however he was lacking a PC that would be capable of basic editing and file storage. At this point in time I had just finished school and no longer had a use for a personal workstation and we figured this would be the perfect machine for him to get started out on. This is where the problems began. I cut him a huge deal just to help a friend out, as I am the kind of guy that loves to see the homies thrive but this kid has taken my kindness for granted. I was hoping to use this sum of money to start paying off those hefty student loans and have so far only received $400 towards a $2000 PC that I sold to him for $1000. Its been 6 months and I haven't been given any money for at least 4 even though I am constantly asking for it every few weeks and my patience is growing thin. I do not want to terminate this toxic friendship until I at least get my money back. Am I the A-Hole for being mad about this? 

 

Does anyone have any advise? Or is my only option to take him to small clams? I do have all of the text messages outlining the agreement we made. 

 

Thanks in advance, 

 

 

[Andreas Lilja]

You can take him to small claims, texts should be enough to make a contract. 

[dizmo]

Basically, in regards to you being an asshole about it...kind of, yeah. There's a pandemic right now, and money is tight for pretty much everyone. If you really needed the money, then you would have (or at least should have) sold it to someone that could pay the money up front immediately. If it wasn't something you needed, as you stated, then I'd just wait until his situation improves and he's able to give you the money. Really, you should never give money to a friend with the expectation of it being paid back. I lent a good friend $3,000 4 years ago, and haven't been paid back anything since. I just ask for favors and take off a reasonable value towards his debt.

 

Taking him to small claims court is kind of a pointless endeavor for $600. It's going to cost you to file, then time to go, etc. Really, in the end you'd likely break even. Unless you want to make some kind of point and it's not only about the money, that's not a route I'd go.

 

[Tehkast]

Fairly similar situation about 10 years back helped a friend buy his first gaming PC had no intent on paying me back in a timely manner if at all and frankly by time it became a thing and we settled up the friendship was dead.

 

Don't wanna be a Debby downer but sounds like your about to get the same my advice would be go hard on him to get the money rather then waste your time softly softly the result will be a loss of friend regardless best go for quickest option.

[minibois]

Do you know why he hasn't been able to pay you back?

Setting up some sort of payment plan - for example for a $100-$200 a month - could be a fix. Maybe it's just that your this person whom you sold the computer to isn't comfortable bringing up a payment plan themselves, but just cannot fork over the full $600 right away.

[Totallycasual]

When it comes to friends and money (or in your case selling them something for a payment down the track), you just have to expect to never see it again, if a friend's in bad shape and needs shit i'd just rather give it to them than run the risk of it turning sour.

 

I think you're probably better off just walking away and letting the friendship die at this stage. 

[plsno]

Have you tried talking to him about his financial situation? Maybe he's one of the numerous people that don't have a job anymore due to the pandemic. 

[SpaceGhostC2C]

Jus a note: you sold your friend two things, a computer and financial services (even if at 0%). Just selling the computer would not put you in this situation, while lending money in any form could.

[VeryBigMish]

Thanks for the input guys. It helped me come to the realization that maybe I am extremely fortunate to be in a situation where this hasn't really effected my life financially as I was lucky enough to land and maintain a good job through covid right out of school. He really does need the money more than I do, and maybe being out a little bit of money is worth helping a buddy get out of the gutter, I just wish it was a voluntary choice as id sleep easier with that. I guess all I can do is hope his business takes off and he will be able to pay me back someday, and if not I'll just have to put this one in the "hard lessons learned" folder. 

[Pickles von Brine]

3 hours ago, VeryBigMish said:

Thanks for the input guys. It helped me come to the realization that maybe I am extremely fortunate to be in a situation where this hasn't really effected my life financially as I was lucky enough to land and maintain a good job through covid right out of school. He really does need the money more than I do, and maybe being out a little bit of money is worth helping a buddy get out of the gutter, I just wish it was a voluntary choice as id sleep easier with that. I guess all I can do is hope his business takes off and he will be able to pay me back someday, and if not I'll just have to put this one in the "hard lessons learned" folder. 

I was going to pretty much say what you just said. Though another lesson would be to charge price up front. I did the same to a friend. Didn't see the money for 2 years @_@

[VeryBigMish]

15 hours ago, DriftMan said:

go back to reddit.

Well, it depends on who's the toxic here. Why doesn't he pay back? Is he tight on cash? Is he broke? Is he trying to avoid paying you back because he doesn't want to pay you?

Well that's my issue, I see this guy all over social media living his best life with expensive bottles and partying. Meanwhile most of my money is going to bills and loan payments. he has no expenses or responsibility as he lives at home with his parents and no drivers license. I just felt maybe paying me should be one of his first priorities instead of trying to impress his tinder date with a $70 bottle of wine. So realistically its all of the above, he's broke and just doesn't feel like paying me back.

[Pickles von Brine]

2 minutes ago, VeryBigMish said:

Well that's my issue, I see this guy all over social media living his best life with expensive bottles and partying. Meanwhile most of my money is going to bills and loan payments. he has no expenses or responsibility as he lives at home with his parents and no drivers license. I just felt maybe paying me should be one of his first priorities instead of trying to impress his tinder date with a $70 bottle of wine. So realistically its all of the above, he's broke and just doesn't feel like paying me back.

Sounds more like a shithead to me. Quick way to loose a friend: Money

[VeryBigMish]

1 minute ago, Pickles - One of the Jar said:

Sounds more like a shithead to me. Quick way to loose a friend: Money

Truer words have never been spoken. I guess I'm just having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I have outgrown a lot of the friends I grew up with and our morals don't exactly align anymore. Maybe that's the biggest lesson here, not everyone is as cool as they were when you were kids. 

[Pickles von Brine]

I think we can all agree on that one. Many people I thought were friends growing up have either stabbed me in the back, stood me up, used me or just simply haven't been there for me when i needed them, yet when they need something they come to me for help. It is a reason I work on a 3 strikes policy and give trust exercises. My current 3 good friends I know I can call at 3 am in the morning if something came up and they would be there for me. One if them I have known for 13 years. 

It hurts man, but it is also a part of growing up or becoming/being an adult. The real world sucks. People suck (sometimes) and you just roll with the punches. At this point, you got 3 options:

1) Be a giant pain in the ass and make an example out of the guy (to win in small claims you will need a writ that he owes you, not a verbal though some states that does count). Basically anything that proves you sold him the system and what he owes you. This is why I always get at least a basic invoice or IOU or something in place. Both parties sign. 

2) Wait and hope he pays and is less of a dickhead than you thought he was

3) Move on. 

 

[Ravendarat]

While I’m not heartless to the reality of the pandemic, this person made the deal with you 6 months ago while we were already dealing with the pandemic. You’ve told me nothing about this individual that leads me to believe he should be cut any slack whatsoever. In fact you’ve told me the opposite in this thread. If I was in your place I’d be marching my ass over to his place and demand he give you the money he owes in full or you take the machine back and the $400 he has paid so far can be considered a rental fee for the last 6 months. This guy sounds like he’s not worth your friendship

[VeryBigMish]

5 minutes ago, Pickles - One of the Jar said:

I think we can all agree on that one. Many people I thought were friends growing up have either stabbed me in the back, stood me up, used me or just simply haven't been there for me when i needed them, yet when they need something they come to me for help. It is a reason I work on a 3 strikes policy and give trust exercises. My current 3 good friends I know I can call at 3 am in the morning if something came up and they would be there for me. One if them I have known for 13 years. 

It hurts man, but it is also a part of growing up or becoming/being an adult. The real world sucks. People suck (sometimes) and you just roll with the punches. At this point, you got 3 options:

1) Be a giant pain in the ass and make an example out of the guy (to win in small claims you will need a writ that he owes you, not a verbal though some states that does count). Basically anything that proves you sold him the system and what he owes you. This is why I always get at least a basic invoice or IOU or something in place. Both parties sign. 

2) Wait and hope he pays and is less of a dickhead than you thought he was

3) Move on. 

 

I know your right, I've been friends with this guy for 15 years or so. I just figured I knew him enough to trust him, making it that much more of a slap in the face. Frankly all three of those options sound terrible but there really isn't a possible fourth. I just wish he didn't put me in a position where it had to come down to something like this. To think you could show someone that amount of kindness to just get treated like a personal piggy bank. 

[VeryBigMish]

26 minutes ago, Ravendarat said:

While I’m not heartless to the reality of the pandemic, this person made the deal with you 6 months ago while we were already dealing with the pandemic. You’ve told me nothing about this individual that leads me to believe he should be cut any slack whatsoever. In fact you’ve told me the opposite in this thread. If I was in your place I’d be marching my ass over to his place and demand he give you the money he owes in full or you take the machine back and the $400 he has paid so far can be considered a rental fee for the last 6 months. This guy sounds like he’s not worth your friendship

You are 100% right. Last night that is exactly where my head was at. I just called him to ask for at least some of it so I could afford to splurge a little on something for my little sister to open for Christmas and he simply said he needs the money for his own family Christmas. Next thing I know he posts a story on Instagram with a brand new monitor that's nicer than mine. Some peoples kids man. 

 

Edit: I even offered to buy it back off him for the amount that he has paid and I would eat the depreciation costs if he needs the money as bad as he says he does but he stated that wasn't an option as "he's still using it"

[TempestCatto]

33 minutes ago, VeryBigMish said:

he posts a story on Instagram with a brand new monitor that's nicer than mine

I haven't read the full thread here. BUT...Are you sure he bought it? Or was he gifted it? It is the holiday season right now.

[VeryBigMish]

3 minutes ago, TempestCatto said:

I haven't read the full thread here. BUT...Are you sure he bought it? Or was he gifted it? It is the holiday season right now.

You know what, that's a good point. I just figured it wouldn't be for another few days before everyone started getting their Christmas gifts. Plus being in our mid 20's, I figured we may be getting a little old for our family members to be spoiling us like that.

 

[TempestCatto]

7 hours ago, VeryBigMish said:

You know what, that's a good point. I just figured it wouldn't be for another few days before everyone started getting their Christmas gifts. Plus being in our mid 20's, I figured we may be getting a little old for our family members to be spoiling us like that.

 

Nonsense. My best friend was gifted a very expensive guitar for Christmas, and is currently using it on the worship team at his church. A gift can be early, and still used early. Plus, just because someone is older, doesn't mean you can't spoil them with something nice (especially if it's practical).

[Pickles von Brine]

Does this guy still live at home? This may sound childish, but it is a way of possibly getting to the guy. Talk to his parents. 

[ToboRobot]

Whenever you loan money or extend someone credit, you put a dollar sign on the friendship, and unfortunately often you realize that some value money greater than friendship.

Be open and honest, but ultimately you will have to decide if you care about the money more than the friendship.

[Tristerin]

Couple things I dont do in life:

 

Sell vehicles to friends

Involve money in my friendships

 

 

Ive learned you just dont do those things, because you ONLY have onus to yourself and your own choices. 

 

For the people in my life where I would involve either of the two above items - I could count those people on less than 5 fingers, because that list is short.  And tbh those people on that same short list, if they needed something, I wouldnt put a price tag on it.  They NEED it.

 

TLDR: Money corrupts absolutely. 

[Rocketdog2112]

He lives at home with his parents? Simply drop by one day when he's not home and inform the parents of the situation and that you are there to reclaim/repo the computer. Consider the $400 he's paid upfront monies for your troubles. He has money to splurge everywhere else and not honor his commitments? He is not a friend any longer.

[Falkentyne]

On 12/21/2020 at 7:28 PM, VeryBigMish said:

Truer words have never been spoken. I guess I'm just having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I have outgrown a lot of the friends I grew up with and our morals don't exactly align anymore. Maybe that's the biggest lesson here, not everyone is as cool as they were when you were kids. 

 

People change a LOT between middle/highschool and adulthood.  Some of the people you once enjoyed and had fun with as kids, you find out they're nothing but losers (compared to you) and not even worth spending time around.  Nostalgia is best left to people who still respect you, are at your intellect level and work ethic level, and who have a compatible values system.

 

When you're in school, no one cares about these things.  People just want to study, or have fun and do stuff with you when not studying, so if two guys play D&D 5.1e or MTG or Pokemon, then bam: pretty big chance of a friendship there if they don't drive each other crazy.  But once you're an adult, everything changes.  That's how you can know people at some chess or gaming club and play with them but never even speak to them after the meeting is over.