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At what age will let kids date?

Depends on  the individual but generally speaking the answer is 'puberty'. Once that kicks in u should let them 'date' as its the natural thing to do.

 

Obviously u do the proper parenting thing and keep an eye on things, make sure their not being taken advantage of etc etc.

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16 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

Which is precisely why sexual education - comprehensive sexual education, should be mandatory in school. Because most parents won't teach that 90% extra stuff. Or if they do, it's too little and way too late.

 

If you are a good parent and will teach your kids extensive education on birth control, condoms (and how to safely use them), how sex works (physically, how the act works, biomechanical details, etc), how menstration works, how puberty works, teach consent, teach acceptance of others, of other genders, and so on and so forth - that's awesome.

 

Most parents don't teach any of that.

Self control is all well and good, but realistically relying on self control to avoid pregnancies is the worst possible way to do it. It should be part of an overall foundation that includes knowledge on how to do it safely if that self control fails (which for most teens, will fail - regardless of how mature and responsible they are - teens are horny and want to fuck. Let them do it if they want, as long as they are safe).

Trust me, most middle schoolers know EXACTLY how the physical act of sex works. That is the 'easy' part to teach. It is vital that parents teach their children the repercussions (physical and emotional) of engaging in such activity before they are ready to accept responsibility. One can easily destroy their life (and others) with bad choices.

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Let's face it: teen dating is kind of silly before you are able to drive. I had friends who "dated" in middle school which consisted of going to Starbucks together and having their parents drive them to a movie. I wouldn't forbid my kid from dating past the age of 13, but I'd keep an eye on them and I'd want to get to know their boyfriend/girlfriend. I wouldn't want them having sex before 18, ideally. I think a lot of the problem is that parents don't communicate with their teenage kids. They let the internet and their kid's friends handle it all, they don't take an interest in what they're doing in school, they don't ask about their relationships and they don't talk to them about sex. I think it's important for parents to do all these things. 

 

I'm 16 and I've never dated. I think my parents would be okay if I did (my older sister has and it was never a problem), but I just haven't been interested. 

 

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Just now, Kylan275 said:

Let's face it: teen dating is kind of silly before you are able to drive.

To be fair, that's an America problem not a teen dating problem... if you live somewhere where things aren't zoned so strictly or spread a long way apart - i.e. when you live somewhere not built for cars - then that issue simply disappears...

 

Regrettably the UK, where I live, has similar problems in some areas, though not to the same magnitude.

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Just now, pythonmegapixel said:

To be fair, that's an America problem not a teen dating problem... if you live somewhere where things aren't zoned so strictly or spread a long way apart - i.e. when you live somewhere not built for cars - then that issue simply disappears...

 

Regrettably the UK, where I live, has similar problems in some areas, though not to the same magnitude.

Yeah where I live is the ultimate in suburban sprawl. People who live here commute a half hour away and the nearest shopping center is at least a 10 minute drive. Driving is considered a major step toward autonomy.

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5 minutes ago, Kylan275 said:

Yeah where I live is the ultimate in suburban sprawl. People who live here commute a half hour away and the nearest shopping center is at least a 10 minute drive. Driving is considered a major step toward autonomy.

Indeed. I live a few minutes walk from a station where there is a bus into the town centre every 15 minutes or a train every hour; as such I don't drive into the town centre (not that I have a car).

 

However in some parts of the country a car is still required for anything.

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Thanks for reading all this by the way!

By the way, my desktop is a docked laptop. Get over it, No seriously, I have an exterrnal monitor, keyboard, mouse, headset, ethernet and cooling fans all connected. Using it feels no different to a desktop, it works for several hours if the power goes out, and disconnecting just a few cables gives me something I can take on the go. There's enough power for all games I play and it even copes with basic (and some not-so-basic) video editing. Give it a go - you might just love it.

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I've been dating since I was 3 apparently.   By the time I was 5 I had girls literally chasing after me during recess.   I even had a literal suggar mama at the age of 7.   I mean ya the girl was cute, but I got free girl scout cookies.   Samoas first, putting up with cooties second.

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5 minutes ago, whm1974 said:

When I was in primary school the few kids who were "dating" were made fun of... By the other kids...

Oddly, I wasn't.   I lived in an area where we came up with this game where at recess, children as young as 5, were chasing the opposite sex.   That was our "fun", and I was the leader of the boys during the chase.  I remember having girls yell at me for not picking them.  xD   "What you can't handle this?!"  Is literally what one of them yelled at me.  I then said I can and walked away with 2 girls.  Of course then I got yelled at by a teacher.

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Honestly I think 16 is an okay age as long as they do understand that this person might not be the one the wound up being with for the rest of their lives. At that age, things are more complicated than whether or not two people like each other. Like others have probably mentioned, there might be cultural barriers, time commitment limitations, heck even logistical barriers. My ex was called a slut by her family back in her home country when they heard the news she was dating before she was 19. I know she said she didn't care what they said, but deep down I knew that took a major toll on her.

 

I was in my senior year which meant I was spending considerable time on my studies to get into University and she was close behind. And then we have the logistical part. We were literally living on opposite corners of Metro Vancouver, 50km apart. With no car since we're still teenagers and it being a long and tedious transit ride (2 hours one way with dozens of transfers), it was near impossible to meet up in person. Plus her parents would know and yea, what was mentioned before. 

 

Do I regret it? Other than loosing a good friend when we broke up on a sour note, no. I learned a lot about myself and what it takes to take care of someone intimate. And that's all you can really wish for when dating at such a young age. 

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38 minutes ago, Whiskers said:

Thread cleaned.

 

Please remember that political debates and discussions aren't allowed on the site, as per the Community Standards. This includes incendiary topics such as abortion and birth control.

Sorry. I didn't mean to violate Community Standards. But I don't see such Topics as Birth Control as remotely Incendiary nor Political in 2020. I will however follow the Rules here.

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Just now, whm1974 said:

Sorry. I didn't mean to violate Community Standards. But I don't see such Topics as Birth Control as remotely Incendiary nor Political in 2020. I will however follow the Rules here.

Whether they should or shouldn't be is a discussion in and of itself, but unfortunately the reality is that they are definitely incendiary, in so much as discussions relating to them often quickly descend into outright flamewars and insult-flinging. It's one of those topics that can bring about some of the strongest emotions in people.

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  • 3 months later...
14 minutes ago, FoxMan said:

I think children can start dating when they begin to understand their feelings and the feelings of a partner. This is very difficult and important for a relationship.  Parents need to talk to their child, read books with them, watch videos.

Well yes of course Parents should be doing this well before their offspring start Dating, much less do anyway thing beyond that...

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  • 1 month later...

When I get kids hopefully in the future, probably around 16-17. I hope 19-20 though since I want them to be serious and not be a 1 month thing.

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My best friend from elementary school had his first girlfriend at 13 or so, then his second girlfriend at 14. Each of these relationships was about a year long or so.

 

Ofc he was obviously physically more mature than the rest of us. Was hairy, had a "manlier" build, and a little mustache years before I did. 😄

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The way I see it, if kids want to date they'll date. If you say no, they'll just do it behind your back. I think it's better to talk to them about it and be open. Helps turn something that's a "NO" without your support to "Watch out for this and that. Don't make them more important than yourself etc" I think it's one of those things that there are healthy ways to do it and unhealthy ways to do it. I'd rather them have relationships in a healthy way regardless.

I'm not actually trying to be as grumpy as it seems.

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1 minute ago, Voluspa said:

The way I see it, if kids want to date they'll date. If you say no, they'll just do it behind your back. I think it's better to talk to them about it and be open.

That is a very pragmatic view in my opinion.

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Thanks for reading all this by the way!

By the way, my desktop is a docked laptop. Get over it, No seriously, I have an exterrnal monitor, keyboard, mouse, headset, ethernet and cooling fans all connected. Using it feels no different to a desktop, it works for several hours if the power goes out, and disconnecting just a few cables gives me something I can take on the go. There's enough power for all games I play and it even copes with basic (and some not-so-basic) video editing. Give it a go - you might just love it.

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2 minutes ago, pythonmegapixel said:

That is a very pragmatic view in my opinion.

It's how I was introduced to it and drinking. Worked for me. 27, I did stupid things around......dating..... in high school, but because I knew options and....backup.... options, I don't have kids yet. Not quite ready for them yet. 

As far as drinking when I was 11 or 12 I started asking my dad more and more about what he was drinking. Turned into me and a good friend (his boss' son who we all 4 hung out all the time) sharing an occasional beer when we were out fishing or camping. When everyone else hit high school and alcohol was thing new "taboo" thing people could get he and I avoided parties because it wasn't new to us. We avoided a lot of trouble with that. I also had this rule once I got my license. If I drank I drank. Just don't drive. Call my mom, dad or step dad at any time and they'd come pick me up instead of driving and I wouldn't get in trouble. I used that a few times and they held to me not getting in trouble. Avoided potential DUIs and some really bad situations with it.

I'm not actually trying to be as grumpy as it seems.

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9 hours ago, dundee said:

When I get kids hopefully in the future, probably around 16-17. I hope 19-20 though since I want them to be serious and not be a 1 month thing.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a short relationship in school that only lasts a few weeks or a month. It builds their skills and experience. 
 

If they want to date before 16, you won’t stop them. At best you’ll just alienate them and push them away from you. 
 

instead, teach them and support them. 

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8 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a short relationship in school that only lasts a few weeks or a month. It builds their skills and experience. 
 

If they want to date before 16, you won’t stop them. At best you’ll just alienate them and push them away from you. 
 

instead, teach them and support them. 

I agree, but personally, as long as they use protection, I'm fine.

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2 hours ago, dundee said:

I agree, but personally, as long as they use protection, I'm fine.

Hopefully there is robust sexual education where you live (this is not something I can assume). Either way, if you have kids, you'll educate them and ensure they practice safe sex.

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