Stage 3 cancer

July 3, 2020

Yes i do have stage 3 cancer from the mega size one got taken out during Bowel surgery, i am only half way through chemo, and yes now i am half way the chemo is starting to not just killing off the cancer, it is really messing me up really badly, chemo also killing off my immune system cancer is taking away my life force, i may still end up in my grave, if does cremmation i choose, i might decide to pull the plug on chemo, food tast like shit on chemo metallic tast in my mouth.

TetraSky · July 3, 2020

Thank you for sharing your story. I really wish you manage to beat it. Don't give up.

I can't say I relate to what you're going through, since I've only experienced it second hand from seeing my mother(57) go through it.

Long story : (I don't think I've ever written about this before... or at least, not in details)

Spoiler

In her case, it was Stage 3A lung cancer that evolved to 3B, inoperable due to having been found too late, it was already on both lungs and lymph nodes by the time all the tests were done and they could only do chemo and a single round of immunotherapy. No radiotherapy or surgery possible.

She had chest pains for a few months, every doctors she saw said her lungs were clear, maybe pneumonia but nothing was found for that. She thought it was because she had slipped and hurt her upper back on the floor... Then in December of 2017, I made her go to the hospital and made them do an MRI (I think that's what it was) since the clinics were useless. That's when they found she had a mass on her left lung.

She didn't start chemo until February 2018 due to all the tests(biopsy and all) they wanted to do first. Because of all that waiting, the cancer had started growing on her right lung as well by that point. I should've pushed her to the hospital months earlier...

I will always remember her face when the doctor confirmed to us that she had cancer in late January 2018... and again, in April of 2019, when her doctor said she had gone through every single chemo treatment available and none were effective, it was still growing at a decent pace so they would stop treatment, there was no point to them anymore, she was condemned. And the sole immunotherapy treatment available, even though we were "hyped" for it from what we had heard, where it is your body fighting the cancer and all... was about as effective as an IV saline solution.

The mass had initially shrunken a bit on the left side, but the right side was growing without stopping.

Last we heard from the last scan she did in May of 2019, the mass was the size of a grapefruit on the left side and a mandarin on the right side. There weren't any cancerous cells found elsewhere in the body at the time from the body scans. It isn't rare for lung cancer to move to the brain and all, after all...

From there, it was painful to watch. At first she could do with just tylenol, but then the pain grew higher, so they got her on morphine at first, then by the end she was on Fentanyl patches. In November she could barely walk anymore by herself, she had little to no voice... Her sitting on the rocking chair in the living room with a blank stare in her eye...
I had kept her with me the entire time through her chemo and after that. On the 20th of January 2020, her nurse recommended putting her in a special care home because it was getting to a point I could no longer care for her. I was against it. I could keep taking care of her, it was fine. But she agreed and her at-home doctor came to talk with her for the last arrangement. I've long been my mother's interpret since she can barely speak and I can understand her unlike others who doesn't see her often. They talking about how she managed to outlive many others who had the same cancer. That she fought to the end and the care center doesn't mean it's over yet. It wasn't really any consolation, but it made her a bit happy I think?

So the next day, an ambulance showed her to take her there. I went with her, stayed for 4 hours in what would've been her new room. Made plans for the rest of the family to come visit her during the week. By the time I had to leave, I told her I loved her with a hug and that I would come back the next day. She lasted a whole 16 hours, from admission to passing away in her sleep.

5:56 in the morning on the 22nd of January 2020...

I don't think I'll ever forget the time I got that call, nor the walk through the snow to the care center at that time with nobody around. (15 minutes walk, no car)

She managed to survive 2 years from the time her cancer was found to when she could no longer handle it.

I don't know if she was forcing herself to live because she didn't want to be a burden on me by dying in my home and thus waited until she was taken in before "giving up"... That totally would've been something she'd do and is something I still wonder today...

Seeing your loved ones slowly wither away like that, is not something I wish on anyone. She went from a relatively "healthy" weight of 145lbs to 105lbs in the end, most of it was lost in the last year. She was like 5 feet tall.

We had made the arrangement within the first 6 months of her diagnostic, to get her cremated on the day she died. It's... strange how she could fit in such a small box once cremated...

(I've skipped MANY parts... it was getting way too long and honestly I felt like crying even writing this so I had to stop)

(tl;dr : she passed away this past January after 2 years of fighting, her at home doctor was impressed, not many live that long with the type of cancer she had)

I'm just glad she didn't have to go through her cancer AND Covid.

I know it is a horrible experience for you, but please, live life to the fullest, don't give up right away.

I don't know if you have anyone who cares for you like I cared for my mother.

But even if you don't, the least you can do is enjoy the rest of your life fully and live for yourself.

Chemo might make you sick, you may lose your hair, you'll lose a ton of weight... But keep eating even if the food becomes taste less, keep pushing through and screw your appearance. Own it like a champ.

The longer you can live, the more you'll be giving the middle finger to that God damn cancer. Don't let it win without a fight.

I wholehearted wish that you manage to beat it.

SansVarnic · July 3, 2020

@James Aplin My heart go out to you, my grandfather passed away to cancer.

Just as an fyi to you, your post, personal as it is, it is still a Status Update type of post.

I will leave this open (unlocked) but in the future please be mindful of where you post.

May God's mercy be on you and watch over you in your journey.

Lord Vile · July 5, 2020

On 7/3/2020 at 4:18 PM, James Aplin said:

Yes i do have stage 3 cancer from the mega size one got taken out during Bowel surgery, i am only half way through chemo, and yes now i am half way the chemo is starting to not just killing off the cancer, it is really messing me up really badly, chemo also killing off my immune system cancer is taking away my life force, i may still end up in my grave, if does cremmation i choose, i might decide to pull the plug on chemo, food tast like shit on chemo metallic tast in my mouth.

Chemo is amazingly shit but it's used because it's effective. Overall though depending on what type on cancer you have you still have a solid chance of beating it, come out the other side and all that jazz, if it's bowl it's over 50% on average. Wish you good luck with your fight.