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Chick-Fil-A Installs Confessionals So You Can Repent From Eating At Popeyes

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By Flying Sausages
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https://babylonbee.com/news/chick-fil-a-installs-confession-booths-so-you-can-admit-to-eating-at-popeyes

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U.S.—Chick-fil-A restaurants across the country have installed confessionals so people can repent from eating at Popeyes before partaking in the sacrament of delicious Chick-fil-A sandwiches.

 

"Bless me, assistant manager, for I have sinned," one contrite patron said to a smiling Chick-fil-A employee as she entered the booth. "It has been 3 weeks since my last Chick-fil-A meal and confession."

"What is the matter?" the concerned manager asked gently.

She began weeping and confessed, "I ate three Popeyes chicken sandwiches on Sunday. You were closed! I---I had no one else to turn to!" She blew her nose, wiped her tears, and continued, "But I now realize that was wrong. I have cheated on Chick-fil-A with the chicken of the world, and I repent."

The manager then prompted her to pray the Act of Conchicken:

"O S. Truett Cathy, I am sorry for having eaten a Popeyes chicken sandwich,
and I detest all the calories and non-fresh ingredients they use,
most of all, O Cathy, because they offend you, Great Provider of the Lord's Chicken,
Chicken which is most delicious and deserving of my hard-earned money.
I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace and convenient locations with drive-thrus within a few miles of my home,
to eat at Popeyes no more and to avoid the temptation to eat KFC, Raising Cane's, and other heathen chicken."

The assistant manager then assigned her five Hail Cathys and two dunks in a tub of Chick-fil-A sauce as penance. She thanked him, and he responded, "My pleasure."

I don't know what so special about Popeyes chicken sandwich or Chick Fil A sandwich, but this shit is stupid and funny at the same time. If ya ate popeyes chicken sandwich, then ya want to get Chick Fil A bless ya. Repent!

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Posted

im not sure this is tech news but i am laughing my ass off

I spent $2500 on building my PC and all i do with it is play no games atm & watch anime at 1080p(finally) watch YT and write essays...  nothing, it just sits there collecting dust...

Builds:

The Toaster Project! Northern Bee!

 

The original LAN PC build log! (Old, dead and replaced by The Toaster Project & 5.0)

Spoiler

"Here is some advice that might have gotten lost somewhere along the way in your life. 

 

#1. Treat others as you would like to be treated.

#2. It's best to keep your mouth shut; and appear to be stupid, rather than open it and remove all doubt.

#3. There is nothing "wrong" with being wrong. Learning from a mistake can be more valuable than not making one in the first place.

 

Follow these simple rules in life, and I promise you, things magically get easier. " - MageTank 31-10-2016

 

 

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2 hours ago, Sychic said:

BTW Bablyon bee is a site for Christian news satire...

 

Edit: Link to their about us where the mention this

https://babylonbee.com/about

Ah, so it's a Christian Onion. I'd be absolutely amazed if Chik-fil-a did this though. Seems like a brilliant marketing strategy to bring people in just for laughs.

#Muricaparrotgang

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Frankly, considering how Chick-Fil-A operates, I would not be surprised if the satirized scenario actually did play out. Management, especially upper management, there is pretty much a "Christian" cult. There is no way I'll ever give the bigoted bastards one cent of my money or even eat their food if it was given to me.

Jeannie

 

As long as anyone is oppressed, no one will be safe and free.

One has to be proactive, not reactive, to ensure the safety of one's data so backup your data! And RAID is NOT a backup!

 

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non-fresh ingredients they use

https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.kym-cdn.com%2Fphotos%2Fimages%2Fnewsfeed%2F001%2F099%2F682%2Fe8e.png&f=1

Our Grace. The Feathered One. He shows us the way. His bob is majestic and shows us the path. Follow unto his guidance and His example. He knows the one true path. Our Saviour. Our Grace. Our Father Birb has taught us with His humble heart and gentle wing the way of the bob. Let us show Him our reverence and follow in His example. The True Path of the Feathered One. ~ Dimboble-dubabob III

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3 hours ago, Mira Yurizaki said:

What's wrong with eating at PopEye's but not KFC or El Pollo Loco?

 

(yes I know it's satire)

In my case, the chicken at the KFC near me isn't all that great and the store is filthy. Even Jack in the Box has better chicken (McDonald's also has lousy chicken, one of several reasons I've been boycotting them). I haven't tried El Pollo Loco because their menu didn't interest me. I haven't tried Popeye's yet because there isn't one near me.

Jeannie

 

As long as anyone is oppressed, no one will be safe and free.

One has to be proactive, not reactive, to ensure the safety of one's data so backup your data! And RAID is NOT a backup!

 

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4 hours ago, Mira Yurizaki said:

What's wrong with eating at PopEye's but not KFC or El Pollo Loco?

Pop Eyes and Chick-fil-a have many menu items that are extremely similar. KFC's more varied and I have no idea about El Pollo Loco.

 

That said, Chick-fil-a > Pop Eyes when it comes to the main sandwiches.

Come Bloody Angel

Break off your chains

And look what I've found in the dirt.

 

Pale battered body

Seems she was struggling

Something is wrong with this world.

 

Fierce Bloody Angel

The blood is on your hands

Why did you come to this world?

 

Everybody turns to dust.

 

Everybody turns to dust.

 

The blood is on your hands.

 

The blood is on your hands!

 

Pyo.

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5 hours ago, Origami Cactus said:

Sadly fake news, but funny af non the less. ?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Babylon_Bee

I wouldn't call it "fake news". Babylon Bee puts out satire, not necessary fake news.

Quote or tag me( @Crunchy Dragon) if you want me to see your reply

If a post solved your problem/answered your question, please consider marking it as "solved"

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18 hours ago, Crunchy Dragon said:

I wouldn't call it "fake news". Babylon Bee puts out satire, not necessary fake news.

One of my history teachers had a weekly assignment where people would have to read news articles and write a report on it.

One of them was about a new cannibalistic tribe being discovered in the Amazon that they were worried were going to die off because they eat each other at an alarming rate.

 

That's how she discovered The Onion.

#Muricaparrotgang

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I wasn't completely sure if this was satire or not, there was a chance they took themselves too seriously.

† † †

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
    That mark our place; and in the sky
    The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
 
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
    Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
        In Flanders fields.
 
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
    The torch; be yours to hold it high.
    If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
        In Flanders fields.

 

 

Cry havoc and let slip the Togs of war.  (Signature V3)

 

If you want me to reply, tag me @Tog Driver, Or quote me.

 

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all.
‭‭II Corinthians‬ ‭13:14

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Posted

I ate a popeye's sandwich and I loved it. I confess

 

https://youtu.be/IPH_Y5tQcgw

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<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/IPH_Y5tQcgw" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

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