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DrThots

How to have a hint that a shy,nervous girl likes you?

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Posted · Original PosterOP

I've been eyeing this really sweet and wonderful girl in my class but she is nervous around boys. I've already attempted to confess but she scurried to her friends, most likely nervous and shocked about the situation. Ever since, I've noticed her giving quick peaks at me here and there in Class, or when I'm just passing her. She makes no sudden action ie quickly looks away or smile, I've asked her friends who I am really close with and they do not know why. She doesn't talk about me and ignores me when I say Hi. I'm not sure if she's just too nervous to reply or to look at me directly when I'm trying to talk to her or she just absolutely despises me and wants me away.

 

We're both 13 (yes, I know it's understandable that it's a bit young to start getting into serious relationship, but my heart cannot lie to me that she is the person who catches my eye in the crowd) and I do not want to bother her too much, so I do give her space and I also do walk with her and her friends home ,who I've already mentioned that I am really close with them.

 

Is she just too nervous to say Hi to me or does she absolutely hate me and wants me to go away? I can give more details If you do ask them

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2 hours ago, DrThots said:

I've been eyeing this really sweet and wonderful girl in my class but she is nervous around boys. I've already attempted to confess but she scurried to her friends, most likely nervous and shocked about the situation. Ever since, I've noticed her giving quick peaks at me here and there in Class, or when I'm just passing her. She makes no sudden action ie quickly looks away or smile, I've asked her friends who I am really close with and they do not know why. She doesn't talk about me and ignores me when I say Hi. I'm not sure if she's just too nervous to reply or to look at me directly when I'm trying to talk to her or she just absolutely despises me and wants me away.

 

We're both 13 (yes, I know it's understandable that it's a bit young to start getting into serious relationship, but my heart cannot lie to me that she is the person who catches my eye in the crowd) and I do not want to bother her too much, so I do give her space and I also do walk with her and her friends home ,who I've already mentioned that I am really close with them.

 

Is she just too nervous to say Hi to me or does she absolutely hate me and wants me to go away? I can give more details If you do ask them

Do you know anything about her?

 

Sounds like you're infatuated with the idea of her. That's not really a bad thing for a 13 year old, just, she might not be anything like what you imagine in your head.

 

Furthermore, people look at other people. It might only seem like she keeps giving you "furtive" looks, because that's what you want her to be doing. Confirmation bias, basically.

 

Also, this:

Quote

I've already attempted to confess

Yeah. No. Don't "confess" anything to her. Especially when you say she doesn't even respond to you saying hi. If possible, get to know her first, or even just have a conversation.

 

If her friends outright tell you that she likes you, then maybe you've got something to work with. But for now, it simply seems like she's not interested.


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Posted · Original PosterOP
6 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

Do you know anything about her?

 

Sounds like you're infatuated with the idea of her. That's not really a bad thing for a 13 year old, just, she might not be anything like what you imagine in your head.

 

Furthermore, people look at other people. It might only seem like she keeps giving you "furtive" looks, because that's what you want her to be doing. Confirmation bias, basically.

 

Also, this:

Yeah. No. Don't "confess" anything to her. Especially when you say she doesn't even respond to you saying hi. If possible, get to know her first, or even just have a conversation.

 

If her friends outright tell you that she likes you, then maybe you've got something to work with. But for now, it simply seems like she's not interested.

Hurts but thanks alot for the help

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I've had enough experience with this to know the do's and do-not's when it comes to relationships. Probably, the best thing for you to do right now OP, is to go on with your daily life and see how things play out, but talk to her like a friend but not too much of a friend. That's how I got into my first relationship. The hard part of going on was not knowing if things had changed between her and I.

 

Also @dalekphalm has a point with confessing, don't jump into it. I had a "chance" with a different girl before my first, that chance was ruined because I decided to confess to her. Things did not go well. She ended up ignoring me because of it. I don't blame her because we haven't talked for that long.


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45 minutes ago, FunkmastaFlex said:

The hard part of going on was not knowing if things had changed between her and I.

For me it's been almost two years. When we text, your guess is as good as mine if she'll reply with much emotion (she doesn't use social media much so I can't tell if that's just how she talks online). But in person I guess we're slowly getting comfortable with each other. We bus home together and look around when we loose sight of each other. Had a simulation for one of our classes and we were placed together as a couple by chance rather than being slotted in as a family with a bunch of strangers. It wasn't awkward at all and she seemed to have responded to the situation well so I guess I have a chance. 


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On 6/6/2018 at 11:30 AM, DrThots said:

We're both 13 (yes, I know it's understandable that it's a bit young to start getting into serious relationship, but my heart cannot lie to me that she is the person who catches my eye in the crowd)

Firstly, I know you're only 13, so this is kind of like telling you that Santa isn't real, but yes, your heart can lie to you. In fact, it probably lies to you more often than it doesn't (that's the case for everyone).

That being said, it doesn't always. Sometimes you actually like a person. However, this is not one of those times: The only thing you know about her is that she is actively avoiding you. You're most likely infatuated with chasing her, and not her herself.

Girls, much like boys, talk to each other. Chances are her friends know exactly how she feels. 

My advice is to try to talk to her. Try a few times, make it obvious that you want to talk to her, but not that you want anything else (atleast until after she reciprocates). If she doesn't respond, then leave her alone.

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Posted · Original PosterOP
19 hours ago, straight_stewie said:

Firstly, I know you're only 13, so this is kind of like telling you that Santa isn't real, but yes, your heart can lie to you. In fact, it probably lies to you more often than it doesn't (that's the case for everyone).

That being said, it doesn't always. Sometimes you actually like a person. However, this is not one of those times: The only thing you know about her is that she is actively avoiding you. You're most likely infatuated with chasing her, and not her herself.

Girls, much like boys, talk to each other. Chances are her friends know exactly how she feels. 

My advice is to try to talk to her. Try a few times, make it obvious that you want to talk to her, but not that you want anything else (atleast until after she reciprocates). If she doesn't respond, then leave her alone.

Ok, thanks :) 

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