How to ask out my crush that likes me?

[Princess Luna]

24 minutes ago, MellowCream said:

delete this 

I beg your pardon?

 

Any ways the worse thing that could happen is that she says no and you just move on which is about the same result as never asking her out... sure anxiety and what not is present and the feeling of being reject isn't pleasing but it hardly is going to haunt you longer than the day you do it.

 

You'll still have your life and friends to concern yourself with.

[cluelessgenius]

Just now, AntInATree said:

Don't do this. This is sexual assault. If you want to know if she likes you ask. It is easy. Use words.

well obviously i wasnt sure how old op is but judging by him still asking himself how to talk to girls id imagine somewhat younger.

you know people didnt used to be this sensitive. maybe im getting old. but i feel like suing everyone over everything has become a trend only lately. people are turning into bitches getting offended by everything and thinking the world somehow owes them something. 

going up to her and kissing her out of the blue id still spontanious and "romantic" as long you dont force yourself onto her. the slightest push back and you should stop and back off.

anyway maybe dont do it im not claiming to be an expert or anything.

[Princess Luna]

3 minutes ago, cluelessgenius said:

.

Wir leben in einer einsamen welt  

 

Truth be told nowadays the less people and the less of society demands you get involved with the better... all of it just adds stresses and disappointments... it isn't worth it trying to be accepted in my opinion, better just live your life how you want to and stick mostly to those few that you can count on.

 

Then again if you do manage to be with someone in a loving relationship that allows it for you (which isn't easy specially with woman indeed being more demanding about society standards) then you pretty much won in life.

[AntInATree]

3 minutes ago, cluelessgenius said:

well obviously i wasnt sure how old op is but judging by him still asking himself how to talk to girls id imagine somewhat younger.

you know people didnt used to be this sensitive. maybe im getting old. but i feel like suing everyone over everything has become a trend only lately. people are turning into bitches getting offended by everything and thinking the world somehow owes them something. 

going up to her and kissing her out of the blue id still spontanious and "romantic" as long you dont force yourself onto her. the slightest push back and you should stop and back off.

anyway maybe dont do it im not claiming to be an expert or anything.

Yeah people also didn't care what others thought. Also woman use to be property something to be taken. I mean if another guy just walked up and kissed you.How would you feel? It is not about what is romantic and spontaneous. It is covering your own butt. Romance is a modern invention doing things for love is also. 

Best way to ask someone out is get to know them more and more. Hang out with them often then after some time learning about the person finding out their hopes and dreams. If their personality and hopes and dreams match ask them out if you think she doesn't mind getting close to you. Or don't if you want a quick fling just ask. Better question is why do you want her to be your gf? Are you 2 even friends yet?

[cluelessgenius]

4 minutes ago, AntInATree said:

Yeah people also didn't care what others thought. Also woman use to be property something to be taken. I mean if another guy just walked up and kissed you.How would you feel? It is not about what is romantic and spontaneous. It is covering your own butt. Romance is a modern invention doing things for love is also. 

Best way to ask someone out is get to know them more and more. Hang out with them often then after some time learning about the person finding out their hopes and dreams. If their personality and hopes and dreams match ask them out if you think she doesn't mind getting close to you. Or don't if you want a quick fling just ask. Better question is why do you want her to be your gf? Are you 2 even friends yet?

im not gonna get into a discussion here because clearly you have some strong thoughts and feelings about this. buti also disagree with you a bit in saying "Best way to ask someone out is ..." if were being real here nobody know the best way. were all just trying our best to get by and there is no "the best" its always just the way it worked best for you in the past

[AntInATree]

1 minute ago, cluelessgenius said:

im not gonna get into a discussion here because clearly you have some strong thoughts and feelings about this. buti also disagree with you a bit in saying "Best way to ask someone out is ..." if were being real here nobody know the best way. were all just trying our best to get by and there is no "the best" its always just the way it worked best for you in the past

True it is a giant ball of opinion

[dalekphalm]

1 hour ago, cluelessgenius said:

takes confidence but id suggest just go up and kiss her when she doesnt expect it and is possibly not in a group or something and then if she kisses back = good if you get a han to the face = at least you know where you stand.

this whole does he/she or does he/she not asking is wasted time.

Here's the thing - that might have worked in 1997.

 

But in 2018, with consent as such a hot topic? This is a bad idea. She might be a girl who likes that kind of spontaneous romance. Or she might feel violated because she didn't consent to him kissing her.

 

Yes there are definitely "unspoken moments" in romance where the body language and the situation demand that one kiss the other without asking for consent - this is implied consent. Still "grey" in some circles, but largely accepted by society still.

 

But just going up and unexpectedly kissing her could actually leave him in legal trouble.

[cluelessgenius]

3 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

Here's the thing - that might have worked in 1997.

 

But in 2018, with consent as such a hot topic? This is a bad idea. She might be a girl who likes that kind of spontaneous romance. Or she might feel violated because she didn't consent to him kissing her.

 

Yes there are definitely "unspoken moments" in romance where the body language and the situation demand that one kiss the other without asking for consent - this is implied consent. Still "grey" in some circles, but largely accepted by society still.

 

But just going up and unexpectedly kissing her could actually leave him in legal trouble.

i get it but it is a double standard. like if a girl came up to me and just kissed me could i claim sexual harrasment? ridiculous

[Majinhoju]

1 hour ago, cluelessgenius said:

takes confidence but id suggest just go up and kiss her when she doesnt expect it and is possibly not in a group or something and then if she kisses back = good if you get a han to the face = at least you know where you stand.

this whole does he/she or does he/she not asking is wasted time.

OP, only follow this guy's advice if you want to end up on a the Sex Offender registry.

[Majinhoju]

4 minutes ago, cluelessgenius said:

i get it but it is a double standard. like if a girl came up to me and just kissed me could i claim sexual harrasment? ridiculous

You technically could.  More men are coming forward with their stories of sexual assault (even badasses like Terry Crews).  But most of their assault stories are actually caused by other men.  Woman don't  quite have the track record of harassment and assault that men do.

[Shakaza]

Just now, cluelessgenius said:

i get it but it is a double standard. like if a girl came up to me and just kissed me could i claim sexual harrasment? ridiculous

Um, yes? In fact, that is exactly what I would do, because I don't very much like people kissing me even under better circumstances, and I am well within my rights to say I don't like it. I doubt I would press charges or anything that severe, but you can bet they would receive a verbal lashing at least.

[AshleyAshes]

1 hour ago, cluelessgenius said:

takes confidence but id suggest just go up and kiss her when she doesnt expect it

Do.  Not.  Do.  This. o____o

[cluelessgenius]

6 minutes ago, Shakaza said:

Um, yes? In fact, that is exactly what I would do, because I don't very much like people kissing me even under better circumstances, and I am well within my rights to say I don't like it. I doubt I would press charges or anything that severe, but you can bet they would receive a verbal lashing at least.

well that was alsways the case and totally deserved . but people these days go to far

[Shakaza]

2 minutes ago, AshleyAshes said:

Do.  Not.  Do.  This. o____o

What, you mean that being blatantly disrespectful to the opposite sex doesn't make them like you?

[AshleyAshes]

2 minutes ago, Shakaza said:

What, you mean that being blatantly disrespectful to the opposite sex doesn't make them like you?

It's crazy talk I know, but maybe it's just so crazy it works.

[cluelessgenius]

1 minute ago, Shakaza said:

What, you mean that being blatantly disrespectful to the opposite sex doesn't make them like you?

i was just about to say all this talk about how people exaggerate will sooner or later attract one of them

[Sergifq]

3 hours ago, Theguywhobea said:

Take your dick out

+1

[dalekphalm]

1 hour ago, cluelessgenius said:

i get it but it is a double standard. like if a girl came up to me and just kissed me could i claim sexual harrasment? ridiculous

Yes exactly. If a girl kisses you without consent, and you didn't like it, that is sexual harassment.

 

The problem is the social stigma where other guys will be like "Oh you're such a pussy! I would love a random girl to kiss me!"

 

Now if they kissed you and you wanted them to anyway? It all worked out. But that's the tricky beast of doing something without asking - there's a 50/50 chance whether it's wanted or if it's sexual harassment.

[Froody129]

Coffee first. You don't start with the official relationship status and then move to finding out if the relationship is worth going into. Going on a date =\= dating. 

 

If you've never spoken to this girl, how do you know you like her?  

[dalekphalm]

2 minutes ago, Froody129 said:

Coffee first. You don't start with the official relationship status and then move to finding out if the relationship is worth going into. Going on a date =\= dating. 

 

If you've never spoken to this girl, how do you know you like her?  

Agreed. People confusing "dating" with "Dating".

 

"Dating" is being in a defined relationship (Eg: Boyfriend + Girlfriend)

 

"dating" is going on casual dates (potentially with multiple people) until/unless you decide to move into a steady relationship. Going on a first date would qualify as this.

 

@Implosivetech you don't want to just ask her to be your girlfriend. That's creepy and way too fast - plus you basically don't know anything about her. Asking her on a date is perfectly reasonable though.

 

You could say something like "Hey you seem really cool - why don't we go on a date this weekend?"

[Froody129]

4 hours ago, cluelessgenius said:

Snippety snip

Username checks out

[Guest The Viking]

Ask her on a date, and depending on how it goes, ask her out or not.

 

Don't take your dick out, even if others said it as a joke.

 

Don't try to kiss her to see, these days that can end up badly. Unless she's crazy about you, that won't work, like or not.

 

There's not much to regret if it fails, so just go for it.

 

Spoiler

yes I am probably too old fashioned

 

[Canada EH]

Take her to a movie theater when its empty and sit and makeout, but do it slowly. At first put your hand around her and see what she does. Then move over and get close to her face while you grab some of her popcorn. Then get into intimate conversation, then act like you are getting some popcorn but kiss her.

[Kaita]

The replies in this thread... wow.

[MorganO]

On 4/18/2018 at 9:26 PM, Implosivetech said:

Ok, I've know this girl for a few months now. A mutual friend tells me that she like me, so thats cool. Do I just go up to her and tell her I like her and ask if she wants to be my gf or what?

 

Help out a fellow techie here!

tbh this is how'd id approach, ask her if she likes you, or ask it in a more subtle way but not being pushy, and just suggest that you two shoudl become romantically involved and just take shit slowly to make sure its what is wanted by both parties, or ask her out on a date