Should I kill myself?

[Slyex]

I hate my life so much I can't even be happy anymore. I'm less than 16 years old and I feel this way. I don't want to do anything anymore, I just want my life to be over, I don't want to exist. I keep on having suicidal thoughts every day and I can't help them, I've never tried killing myself but I might. My life hasn't made me feel this was, nothing has really. I just started feeling really depressed a couple of months ago, this was when I never looked forward to anything. I feel like this now, it's just pain to live. Every part of me hurts and I don't know why I just want to end my life, but I don't know if I should. I've had so many thoughts every day about suicide, it's what I think about most. First I thought about running away from home to kill myself so nobody would ever know where I was. Then I started thinking about poisoning myself or overdosing on sleeping pills. Then I started thinking about leaping to death from the top of a multi-level car park in the city or jumping off of the harbor bridge. I can just imagine myself doing this at this instant, I don't know why. Any advise would help me decide over what I should do, bye for now, I'll be reading responses.

[themctipers]

OD on common drogs is stupid, you need a stupid amount in your body assuming you don't puke it out / get discovered and Goto ER

 

poisioning self is also stupid because the wonders of modern medicine!

 

suicide by jump is quite messy for people to clean up , and not a sight you would want to see , also you would need to go pretty high. 

 

 

giving advice on suicide is at least illegal where i am ,

just remember that the therapist HAS to tell people what you plan on / thinking of doing when it's harming yourself or other people , and don't be an idiot and half ass it

[Delicieuxz]

Electricity flows wherever there is a positive difference. In a brain, that positive difference is your belief, and the flowing of electricity towards it are your thoughts, your considering.

 

If you're constantly thinking about death and having your thoughts dragged down, then maybe believe in something better than what you currently do.

 

13 is a young age, when you don't yet even really know what life has to offer, and what's possible to accomplish, and when you don't even know how much you mean to your parents. Also, if you can't find a point in your current life, then why don't you just start trying different things?: Get a girlfriend / boyfriend. Get a job to occupy yourself and start earning money that you can spend on things that make you feel happier. Heck, even doing drugs for fun or as a distraction would be immeasurably better than plotting to off yourself.

 

Get a job, play computer games, learn a musical instrument, get a partner, go for walks, make a plan for your life like earning a small amount of money to use to go on a vacation to someplace else for a bit. Believe in something better.

 

Also, do talk to people about it, because when you don't, you have nothing to check your own thoughts against, and so your own biased doubts and presumptions can end up in a negative cycle of confirming themselves. Hearing feedback from people lets you reason your thoughts with the considerations they present to you, and you can dimension to your own understanding that way.

 

10 hours ago, themctipers said:

OD on common drogs is stupid, you need a stupid amount in your body assuming you don't puke it out / get discovered and Goto ER

 

poisioning self is also stupid because the wonders of modern medicine!

 

suicide by jump is quite messy for people to clean up , and not a sight you would want to see , also you would need to go pretty high. 

 

 

giving advice on suicide is at least illegal where i am ,

just remember that the therapist HAS to tell people what you plan on / thinking of doing when it's harming yourself or other people , and don't be an idiot and half ass it

I don't see that as a positive response.

[leadeater]

@Slyex

Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE)

Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)

Healthline – 0800 611 116

Samaritans – 0800 726 666 

Depression-specific helplines

Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757 or free text 4202 (to talk to a trained counsellor about how you are feeling or to ask any questions)

www.depression.org.nz – includes The Journal online help service

SPARX.org.nz –  online e-therapy tool provided by the University of Auckland that helps young people learn skills to deal with feeling down, depressed or stressed

[Slyex]

3 minutes ago, Delicieuxz said:

Electricity flows wherever there is a positive difference. In a brain, that positive difference is your belief, and the flowing of electricity towards it are your thoughts, your considering.

 

If you're constantly thinking about death and having your thoughts dragged down, then maybe believe in something better than what you currently do.

 

13 is a young age, when you don't yet even really know what life has to offer, and what's possible to accomplish. Also, if you can't find a point in life, then why don't you just start trying different things?: Get a girlfriend / boyfriend. Get a job to occupy yourself and start earning money. Heck, even doing drugs for fun or as a distraction would be immeasurably better than plotting to off yourself.

 

Get a job, play computer games, learn a musical instrument, get a partner, go for walks, make a plan for your life like earning a small amount of money to use to go on a vacation to someplace else for a bit. Believe in something better.

 

Also, do talk to people about it, because when you don't, you have nothing to check your own thoughts against, and so your own biased doubts and presumptions can end up in a negative cycle of confirming themselves. Hearing feedback from people lets you reason your thoughts with the considerations they present to you, and you can dimension to your own understanding that way.

 

I don't see that as a positive response.

Those things you wrote are things I've never wanted to achieve. I do play video games and I do learn guitar though. Those are the two things I've never regretted taking up. Also it's fucking ridiculous getting out of the country. A flight from here to Europe can cost cost up to $4,000 one way, and that isn't even in first class or business class.

[Slyex]

1 minute ago, leadeater said:

@Slyex

Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE)

Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)

Healthline – 0800 611 116

Samaritans – 0800 726 666 

Depression-specific helplines

Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757 or free text 4202 (to talk to a trained counsellor about how you are feeling or to ask any questions)

www.depression.org.nz – includes The Journal online help service

SPARX.org.nz –  online e-therapy tool provided by the University of Auckland that helps young people learn skills to deal with feeling down, depressed or stressed

How did you know I'm from New Zealand? Lol

[SansVarnic]

I had the same thoughts many years ago... thing is I realized that every problem/issue/complex or other has a solution. 

 

Besides look at this, suicide is a selfish thing to consider because it involves so many people to deal with the after effects of your death. Your immediate family will have to suffer the loss of you and wonder what it was they did wrong to cause you to do this.

 

Before you consider doing anything go to your parents or siblings and reveal your thoughts. there is a solution available and you may be blinding yourself to it kinda like the answer is right under nose and all you need to do is look a little bit down to see it...

 

Suicide is not an answer it is just a cop out to something called life; death is the final end, the no more, the loss of one who is unique, the loss of You. Do not devalue what you have to offer this world and yourself because of whatever it is that has you convinced otherwise, you are worth something in this and you need only to reach and discover what that is and how it means to you.

 

Your beautiful and this world can be mean and ugly at times. But this world also offers a wonder and Beauty to behold and by considering suicide you will be denying yourself the opportunity to embrace that wonder for yourself and denying those who love you to share in that wonder.

[SansVarnic]

2 minutes ago, Slyex said:

How did you know I'm from New Zealand? Lol

we are moderators for a reason...

[Slyex]

1 minute ago, SansVarnic said:

we are moderators for a reason...

I can't be safe from the internet, not even when seeking advise.

[Kinda Bottlenecked]

Tried getting sweaty?

[SansVarnic]

Just now, Slyex said:

I can't be safe from the internet, not even when seeking advise.

you are safe here. we are not ultimate know it all just have access to a little bit of assistance in time like these to offer help when needed.

[Slyex]

4 minutes ago, SansVarnic said:

I had the same thoughts many years ago... thing is I realized that every problem/issue/complex or other has a solution. 

 

Besides look at this, suicide is a selfish thing to consider because it involves so many people to deal with the after effects of your death. Your immediate family will have to suffer the loss of you and wonder what it was they did wrong to cause you to do this.

 

Before you consider doing anything go to your parents or siblings and reveal your thoughts. there is a solution available and you may be blinding yourself to it kinda like to answer is right under nose and all you need to do is a little bit down to see it...

 

Suicide is not an answer it is just a cop out to something called life, death is the end, the no more, the loss of one who is unique, the loss of You. Do not devalue what you have to offer this world and yourself because of whatever it is that has you convinced otherwise, you are worth something in this and you need only to reach and discover what that is and how it means to you.

 

Your beautiful and this world can be mean and ugly at times. But this world also offers a wonder and Beauty to behold and by considering suicide you will be denying yourself the opportunity to embrace that wonder for yourself and denying those who love you to share in that wonder.

Why think about others in that situation when everybody dies? Dying in a car accident is pretty much the same as dying in war, the same thing happens. People will always feel the same way when people even die of old age. There's only done difference and that is about why they think you killed yourself, they will never know so they shouldn't think about that. 

[leadeater]

1 minute ago, Slyex said:

I can't be safe from the internet, not even when seeking advise.

There's limited information we can see about posters, but those are much better places to seek help than people on the internet. You can share your experiences and seek advise but you shouldn't ignore the professional services on offer, online advise can be very useful but equally not so.

[Slyex]

3 minutes ago, Pohernori said:

Tried getting sweaty?

No I live in a WWII bunker in the middle of a blizzard.

[Red jive]

Just think about this for a second, if you where standing on top of the parking garage and you thought for one second, what have you accomplished in your life time. Would you feel that you have accomplished enough in your short life that you could with complete confidence jump off with no regrets. Life has it's up's and down's, if you let the world beat you down your going to stay down for the rest for your life. I know depression is something that is almost impossible to explain and almost no one understand's it properly. You can't just stay in your room hiding from the world thinking about different ways to kill yourself. you have so much more too live for you just have to wait. 

 

 

 

Just trying to help in the way's that i think I can.

[Delicieuxz]

6 minutes ago, Slyex said:

Why think about others in that situation when everybody dies? Dying in a car accident is pretty much the same as dying in war, the same thing happens. People will always feel the same way when people even die of old age. There's only done difference and that is about why they think you killed yourself, they will never know so they shouldn't think about that. 

Just because you don't have an answer doesn't mean that there isn't an answer. An answer is what's arrived at after you've considered all things. If your belief is to the positive, then your consideration will lead you to realize an answer that makes things meaningful. If your belief is to the negative, then your thoughts will progressively dismantle yourself until you just fall into a black hole of nothingness.

 

Nihilism:

 

- an extreme form of skepticism: the denial of all real existence or the possibility of an objective basis for truth.

- annihilation of the self, or the individual consciousness, especially as an aspect of mystical experience.

 

You get to choose which direction you aim your belief in. If you fall into that hole, it isn't because that hole was true, but because you failed to choose to believe in anything different.

[Slyex]

4 minutes ago, Red jive said:

Just think about this for a second, if you where standing on top of the parking garage and you thought for one second, what have you accomplished in your life time. Would you feel that you have accomplished enough in your short life that you could with complete confidence jump off with no regrets. Life has it's up's and down's, if you let the world beat you down your going to stay down for the rest for your life. I know depression is something that is almost impossible to explain and almost no one understand's it properly. You can't just stay in your room hiding from the world thinking about different ways to kill yourself. you have so much more too live for you just have to wait. 

 

 

 

Just trying to help in the way's that i think I can.

Why would I care about what I have achieved when nothing even matters

[SansVarnic]

14 minutes ago, Slyex said:

Why think about others in that situation when everybody dies? Dying in a car accident is pretty much the same as dying in war, the same thing happens. People will always feel the same way when people even die of old age. There's only done difference and that is about why they think you killed yourself, they will never know so they shouldn't think about that. 

This may or may not help because now I am 36 and when I had the same thoughts your having I was about 11/12. But bear with me as try to explain...

Now I have to consider how my death will affect my family, my parents, my wife, my 5 children. I served in the Army for 12 years, I work in security along side Law enforcement of which I am more likely to die in the line of duty statistically than the police officer I work with.

Dying is dying, true but dying as a result of an accident or my job is full filing a purpose I was meant to fill but taking my own life can in some ways take away that meaning that purpose that opportunity to accomplish why you where put here for.

[themctipers]

28 minutes ago, Delicieuxz said:

Electricity flows wherever there is a positive difference. In a brain, that positive difference is your belief, and the flowing of electricity towards it are your thoughts, your considering.

 

If you're constantly thinking about death and having your thoughts dragged down, then maybe believe in something better than what you currently do.

 

13 is a young age, when you don't yet even really know what life has to offer, and what's possible to accomplish, and when you don't even know how much you mean to your parents. Also, if you can't find a point in your current life, then why don't you just start trying different things?: Get a girlfriend / boyfriend. Get a job to occupy yourself and start earning money that you can spend on this that make you feel happier. Heck, even doing drugs for fun or as a distraction would be immeasurably better than plotting to off yourself.

 

Get a job, play computer games, learn a musical instrument, get a partner, go for walks, make a plan for your life like earning a small amount of money to use to go on a vacation to someplace else for a bit. Believe in something better.

 

Also, do talk to people about it, because when you don't, you have nothing to check your own thoughts against, and so your own biased doubts and presumptions can end up in a negative cycle of confirming themselves. Hearing feedback from people lets you reason your thoughts with the considerations they present to you, and you can dimension to your own understanding that way.

 

I don't see that as a positive response.

it 's not supposed to now , is it ?

at least this thread isn't filled with it'll get better 

or well I don't see it as that

[SansVarnic]

Had I taken my life 20 years ago I would not be here to talk to you about this right now fulfilling a reason to help you through the tuff as I had suffered then.

 

All life has meaning, we would not be if it did not. Life is tuff Life can seem more than can be handled but I tell you 20 years later the rough and tough was worth the effort to make it to this point in my life.

 

When I married, when my first child was born and each after was amazing. These things are precious and each has meaning and it a wonder to see not only myself to continue to grow but to raise my chilren. My grandfather whom passed away 3 years ago is not truly dead as I him every day in the miror, in the work he accomplished for others that still exists... 

[asus killer]

apart from the real possibility you are trolling us... my advise is pick a hobby, try as many as you like till you find one you like, preferably one that includes other people, could be a sport for example but not necessarily, and preferably one that is outdoors.

If it's really bad seeking help outside family (they only make things worst) like school for example is a really good idea.

 

Hope everything changes for the best...

[mr moose]

Futile disconnection?  A severe lack of emotion and meaning? 

 

Even though no advice seems helpful and there is no light at the end of the tunnel, it does not mean that there is no end to the tunnel, only that you can't see it from where you are, so you have to keep moving if you eventually want to see the light.

[mrchow19910319]

6 hours ago, Slyex said:

I do play video games and I do learn guitar though. Those are the two things I've never regretted taking up.

Keep doing these two things. That is good enough. Just keep doing it every day. 

If you can enjoy yourself, nothing else is important. 

 

I picked up coding and exercising (jogging) and thats all I do. 

[wasab]

Would you like some therapy? Check out psychology forum. There are professional therapists there offering their services for free.

[aisle9]

8 hours ago, Slyex said:

-snip-

Give it a few years. It gets better.