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How would I improve communication skills?

DannyRyu

soo long story short a while back I hopped in a discord channel and a kid was talking about how a person can do "many" things with an IP like track a person down.

And basically I said what I thought and that a person can only track you down if they do it by means of social engineering and he kept saying you could do things like but never mentioned what or how.

so I called him retarded and ignorant, now that I look back on it I was a bit of an asshole and I realized that overall I have kinda bad social skills and also explains why I don't have many friends.

 

So I'm looking to be more open minded but not gullible and be able to have better conversations and improve my overall communication skills and how to treat people better.

anything anyone want to recommend to me?

 

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6 hours ago, DannyRyu said:

soo long story short a while back I hopped in a discord channel and a kid was talking about how a person can do "many" things with an IP like track a person down.

And basically I said what I thought and that a person can only track you down if they do it by means of social engineering and he kept saying you could do things like but never mentioned what or how.

so I called him retarded and ignorant, now that I look back on it I was a bit of an asshole and I realized that overall I have kinda bad social skills and also explains why I don't have many friends.

 

So I'm looking to be more open minded but not gullible and be able to have better conversations and improve my overall communication skills and how to treat people better.

anything anyone want to recommend to me?

 

I would recommend just talking to more people in general, perhaps online, and offline. And remember that they're the same as you, a person behind a screen.

Regardless of what someone says and how it sounds, you need to remember that an argument is only an argument when you're actually providing intelligent responses. "You're a retard", whilst sometimes being true/fun, is not a valid criticism.

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9 hours ago, DannyRyu said:

soo long story short a while back I hopped in a discord channel and a kid was talking about how a person can do "many" things with an IP like track a person down.

And basically I said what I thought and that a person can only track you down if they do it by means of social engineering and he kept saying you could do things like but never mentioned what or how.

so I called him retarded and ignorant, now that I look back on it I was a bit of an asshole and I realized that overall I have kinda bad social skills and also explains why I don't have many friends.

 

So I'm looking to be more open minded but not gullible and be able to have better conversations and improve my overall communication skills and how to treat people better.

anything anyone want to recommend to me?

 

People with learning difficulties like Autism and Aspergers sometimes have problems socialising, now without knowing you i can't say whether you have those, you would need to go to a GP for that, but when it comes to social queue's best way is to think before you speak, try to work out whether what you're going to say might be misinterpreted.

 

Also generally speaking (not always) once you start getting into the working world (i can't find your age on your profile so i have no idea how old you are) you learn how to build repoir with people and generally how well people react to certain cues. However if you think you might be autistic or have Aspergers then go to a doctor as there is always help for people like that

 

What is most likely the cause though is you're just a bit of an introverted person and therefore don't have much 'experience' interacting with people, interact with people who would share the same hobbies as you, example say you like playing Warhammer 40K the model desktop game, see of there are any clubs/shops like that around you. Just start with small talk. Knowing how to speak to certain types of people requires a certain skill, it's that "mentor" factor that you get from experience in a certain area

 

Also the animosity of the internet makes it easier to be an arsehole because you can't physically see each other

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As a fellow introvert with bad "people" skills, I can give you a few tips:

 

1) Don't insult people face to face (especially those you don't personally know). Ever. There is no situation where it is necessary and doing it in the wrong circumstances can really screw you. In this particular case it didn't matter, but if you can't control yourself in these minor incidents you'll have a hard time doing it when it matters.

2) Don't raise your voice for any other purpose than being heard better, and only if you are asked or are talking to an audience.

3) If you think you could add something, but aren't sure it is relevant or even correct, don't.

4) Listen to what others have to say, and if you can't convince them of your point of view (or be convinced of theirs), don't insist. It is "normal" to disagree. It is not "normal" to pursue the argument as if it were a matter of life and death to determine who is "right".

5) As hard as it can be, try to put yourself in their shoes. Note however that this does not mean "imagine how YOU would react to this sentence", but rather "imagine how THEY would react". Different people see the same situation differently and I often find that my own perception is quite skewed - there are things I would find offensive that others are completely fine with, and things which I find completely innocent that can tick others off.

 

On a side note, technically the kid was right - if you know a person's IP address at a given time it's possible to know roughly where they were and, if it's their home connection, even find out who they are and what websites they regularly visit. ISPs keep track of which customer has which IP at any given time, and many websites record the IPs of their visitors.

Don't ask to ask, just ask... please 🤨

sudo chmod -R 000 /*

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Something that has helped me a lot in life and with talking with people was Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People". He covers a lot of very useful techniques to hold a conversation with someone and to make sure they understand that you empathize with them on something or that you're invested in the topic. I still have some trouble at times and I feel a bit awkward but I can't image where I would be if my Dad had never had me listen to this. 

Desktop: i9 11900k, 32GB DDR4, 4060 Ti 8GB 🙂

 

 

 

 

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I have a bad filter when it comes to using cuss words combined with telling the hard truth to people. The other day in math class, my friend who regularly sits next to me, I told her "You look like shit." Yeah, she was hurt. I didn't get the whole story that she had poked her eye while she was putting on mascara and gave up putting on make up that morning because of it. So, I try to think before I say something. Will I regret saying this later? Will I hurt this person with my opinion I'm about to say? When I insulted my friend I literally said it without thinking, like an impulse. I need to slow down and not treat words leaving my mouth like a simple reflex. 

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13 hours ago, Tcrumpen said:

-snip-

I'm 17 almost 18 so I haven't had the chance to experience that kind of stuff yet.

One of my parents has some sort of "issue" and I'm not too sure what specific "issue" it is and it may run in the family so I'm really hoping its not that cause I do have other problems as well. 

although I wouldn't know what to do if I had that kind of problem and the fact it'll stick with me the rest of my life.

 

I do have some issues like can't think of the right word to use, I'm also bi-lingual and I have trouble learning Kanji despite the fact I lived my whole life in Japan and I only use English on the internet and with my family, I do mis-understand a lot of conversations with friends a lot too and I'm a slightly slower learning than my friends + I have the absolute worst memory, I googled the difference between (Than and Then) many times but I don't remember which is which apart from one is about time and the other is for comparisons or "to do after"

 

Kinda has me worried but my family also has an issues with being a hypochondriac as well, but I don't think I'm that way.. 

 

My dad also basically believes the world is always out to get you and your money, so he thinks nothing is wrong with me

13 hours ago, Sauron said:

-snip-

I'll try to remember 1~5 Maybe note it on my phone or something.

 

side note :3

I understand the IP can be used to find basic info like the ISP and general area (city) but he was talking about just using the IP to pinpoint the persons name and address, I thought that was impossible to get unless you somehow get it through other means (social engineering etc)

but please correct me if I'm wrong.

 

Also anyone else that replied I'm also grateful :)

I read all the comments and I'm still reading what you guys have to say!

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10 hours ago, DannyRyu said:

side note :3

I understand the IP can be used to find basic info like the ISP and general area (city) but he was talking about just using the IP to pinpoint the persons name and address, I thought that was impossible to get unless you somehow get it through other means (social engineering etc)

but please correct me if I'm wrong.

 

Also anyone else that replied I'm also grateful :)

I read all the comments and I'm still reading what you guys have to say!

Well, ISPs know who is paying the bills for a given connection, so they know who owns the modem or phone with that specific IP. If you are using your own internet connection, they will know who you are and where you live (billing address). Of course, if you aren't that ISP or the local government, getting access to this data isn't trivial, but in principle connecting your IP with your personal information is possible.

 

Social engineering is usually easier to pull off and not as likely to get you in jail for stalking.

Don't ask to ask, just ask... please 🤨

sudo chmod -R 000 /*

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