Help me, I can't like babies.

[TommyTwommy]

It really feels shitty.. It wasn't my decision.. I really want to like babies, but I just can't.. My cousin who I literally grew up with is getting a baby in a month or two, and I feel like shit because I can't be happy for him. I don't know wtf will I say when I see the baby. I don't find babies cute, funny or anything. I can't hold a baby. I can't say: Oh its so fkn adorable and cute, when I don't feel that way.. I really want to like babies, I've read on the internet why people like babies.. Literally went through a bunch of articles but nothing helped. God it really feels like shit when you can't be happy for someone who you really love, in one of the best times of their life.

[Urishima]

You are right, everyone else is in the wrong.

 

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/baby_vs_cat

[TommyTwommy]

2 minutes ago, Urishima said:

You are right, everyone else is in the wrong.

 

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/baby_vs_cat

I don't like cats either.. but at least I hate cats with a reason.. dogs rock <3

[Volbet]

What does you not liking infants have to do with you not feeling happy about your cousin having a child?

Surely, you can feel happy for someone without you yourself finding happiniess in the same thing. 

Like, I was happy for my neighbours when they bought a car eventhough I don't personally want a car. 

[TommyTwommy]

12 hours ago, Volbet said:

What does you not liking infants have to do with you not feeling happy about your cusine having a child?

Surely, you can feel happy for someone without you yourself finding happiniess in the same thing. 

Like, I was happy for my neighbours when they bought a car eventhough I don't personally want a car. 

I'm the kind of person who doesn't really get happy for others when it comes to that kind of stuff..

not because I don't want to, or because I'm jealous, envious or something.. probably cuz I'm a bit retarded I guess..

I mean if someone won the lottery I wouldn't be happy for that person bcz I'd be envious.. but really this has nothing to do with that, I just don't have that "feeling happy for others" feeling built into me.. when someone gifts me something I'll be like "ok thanks" I won't be like "OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH IDK HOW TO THANK YOU blah blah."

When I meet someone I'll just say "hi." I won't be like omfg I haven't seen your for so long (haven't seen him for since yesterday), how are you doing, how is life?

 

I know stuff I just said might not be related to the topic, but what I'm going for here is that I'm not really a sensitive kind of person.

[Volbet]

24 minutes ago, berny22 said:

I'm the kind of person who doesn't really get happy for others in when it comes to that kind of stuff..

not because I don't want to, because I'm jealous, envious or something.. probably cuz I'm a bit retarded I guess..

I mean if someone won the lottery I wouldn't be happy for that person bcz I'd be envious.. but really this has nothing to do with that, I just don't have that "feeling happy for others" feeling built into me.. when someone gifts me something I'll be like "ok thanks" I won't be like "OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH." When I meet someone I'll just say "hi." I won't be like omfg I haven't seen your for so long (haven't seen him for a day), how are you doing, how is life?

 

I know stuff I just said might not be related to the topic, but what I'm going for here is that I'm not really a sensitive kind of person.

I don't really see why feeling envious about something necessarily excludes a feeling of happiness on behalf of a person.

There are plenty of people in my circle of friends that I'm envious of, but that's just all the more reason to be happy for them, since they've achieved something you have yet to do. 

If I saw someone who won the lottery I sure as hell would envy them the money, but I would also be happy for them for them (although, it depends on whether I know them or not). 

 

But this is all an attempt to rationalize the inherintly irrational, which is pretty much an exercise in futility. 

How you feel is entirely up to you and no one can force you to feel otherwise. 

 

And as long as your insensitivity towards others doesn't evolve into full on anti-social behavior there's really nothing wrong with feeling how you currently do.  

[captain_to_fire]

14 minutes ago, berny22 said:

because I'm jealous, envious or something.. probably cuz I'm a bit retarded I guess..

I think you need help, like some sort of therapy with a psychiatrist.

[TommyTwommy]

3 minutes ago, hey_yo_ said:

I think you need help, like some sort of therapy with a psychiatrist.

Quote

not because I don't want to, because I'm jealous, envious or something.. probably cuz I'm a bit retarded I guess..

 

you took that out of context.. and yeah i probably do

[JuztBe]

Act then. Say the nice words, smack child's nose gently and that's it, mission succseful. You don't have to start liking kids to do that.

[TommyTwommy]

17 minutes ago, Volbet said:

I don't really see why feeling envious about something necessarily excludes a feeling of happiness on behalf of a person.

There are plenty of people in my circle of friends that I'm envious of, but that's just all the more reason to be happy for them, since they've achieved something you have yet to do. 

If I saw someone who won the lottery I sure as hell would envy them the money, but I would also be happy for them for them (although, it depends on whether I know them or not). 

 

But this is all an attempt to rationalize the inherintly irrational, which is pretty much an exercise in futility. 

How you feel is entirely up to you and no one can force you to feel otherwise. 

 

And as long as you're insensitivity towards others doesn't evolve into full on anti-social behavior there's really nothing wrong with feeling how you currently do.  

I just lack that feeling I guess.. I'm far from anti-social behaviour, because as much as I see that would include violence, hate and aggresion and I'm a big opposite of that.

[TommyTwommy]

Just now, JuztBe said:

Act then. Say the nice words, smack child's nose gently and that's it, mission succseful. You don't have to start liking kids to do that.

Well of course I will do that, but it feels so wrong..

[Monkey Dust]

1 hour ago, Urishima said:

You are right, everyone else is in the wrong.

 

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/baby_vs_cat

That is brilliant

 

To the OP, some of us just don't like babies, it's fine. If you're a guy, and I'm assuming you are, be thankful, there is far more pressure on women to like babies. Yes they are necessary to continue the human species, but not everyone needs to get involved with them.  

 

All you need to do is buy some stuff for the baby and then lie, just go with the usual congratulations. It won't be the last time you'll have to pretend to be happy for someone when you think they are making a massive fuck up. Consider it good practice for when a close friend quits their job to become a vlogger, or they announce they are marrying their bat-shit insane partner.

 

[JuztBe]

1 hour ago, berny22 said:

Well of course I will do that, but it feels so wrong..

Haha, i know that feel. Sometimes you are forced out of your comfort zone and you have to overcome it. It's good thing. Especially since you know yourself that babies isn't something evil.

[Teddy07]

I also hate babies and even children of any age. They are fucking annoying all the time.

[TommyTwommy]

23 minutes ago, Teddy07 said:

I also hate babies and even children of any age. They are fucking annoying all the time.

Hate is a bit too rough.. I just can't overcome not liking them.. But the older they get the more annoying.. I know from personal experience..

 

I wasn't a problematic kid or anything.. I just know that I didn't respect my parents as much as I should've  and I didn't understand why they did some stuff they did (that was mostly before 13).. I mean there were so many points in my life at which if I was my parent I'd slap the living shit out of me.. Your parents always want the best for you and you, spoiled brat don't understand that... But hey I'd much rather have my kid turn into someone like me than into some of my peers.. there are many bullies, problematic alcoholics, young smokers.. I had friends that started drinking and smoking when they were only 13 years old, their parents knew nothing about it and thought their kids were perfect.. I'm not saying alcohol or cigarettes are a death sentence.. its mostly puberty and as time passes so does the behavior. Having kids is really scary to me because so many things can go wrong, and no matter how hard you try to raise your kid the right way it could all turn out the wrong way..

[Princess Luna]

Urgh I hate babies just as much, I'll have just dogs as childs

[Teonalei]

I don't know how your relationship with your cousin is, but you why not just tell him how it is? Just a man to man talk, letting him know that you're trying, but finding it hard. 

That or just pretend... The latter of the two is probably the easiest, but you're still gonna be in the same boat next time you meet them. 

[dalekphalm]

9 hours ago, berny22 said:

It really feels shitty.. It wasn't my decision.. I really want to like babies, but I just can't.. My cousin who I literally grew up with is getting a baby in a month or two, and I feel like shit because I can't be happy for him. I don't know wtf will I say when I see the baby. I don't find babies cute, funny or anything. I can't hold a baby. I can't say: Oh its so fkn adorable and cute, when I don't feel that way.. I really want to like babies, I've read on the internet why people like babies.. Literally went through a bunch of articles but nothing helped. God it really feels like shit when you can't be happy for someone who you really love, in one of the best times of their life.

Some people don't like babies, or kids, or children in general.

 

You don't.

 

Who cares? Move on with life.

 

Don't be an ass to your cousin, but don't volunteer to spend time around the kid. Just grit your teeth and push through when you have to be around the kid.

 

Part of being an adult is sometimes having to do something you don't like.

[TVwazhere]

9 hours ago, Urishima said:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/baby_vs_cat

This makes some strong points

[JuztBe]

Relevant 

[MorganO]

i dont like babies either, can we just skip that part til they are semi intelligent?

[Atmos]

Former preschool teacher here, you're not alone in this sentiment. I too, dislike babies and little kids greatly. So too did most of the people working with me by the end of that year.

That doesn't mean though I wasn't an excellent teacher, I just slapped on a fake smile and did my damn best to seem competent while working. Dear lord almighty you couldn't pay me enough to go back to that work, well, maybe you could pay me enough, but its not a small sum is what im getting at.

 

If you're like you say you are, then there's nothing you can do about it. People don't change in my experience, we just learn to hide our natures. That's what you've got to get good at. Put on a smile and bear through it when ever you have to be with em, and just kindly decline to spend any extra time handling said child.

[SpaceGhostC2C]

10 hours ago, berny22 said:

It really feels shitty.. It wasn't my decision.. I really want to like babies, but I just can't..

Nothing to "help" there. You don't need to like babies. It's fine.

 

10 hours ago, berny22 said:

I'm the kind of person who doesn't really get happy for others when it comes to that kind of stuff..

not because I don't want to, because I'm jealous, envious or something.. probably cuz I'm a bit retarded I guess..

I mean if someone won the lottery I wouldn't be happy for that person bcz I'd be envious..

OK... I mean, you don't need to get happy for others. The part of feeling bad at others' happiness due to envy... let's say is not the nicest trait, but it's OK, after all you are the only one to suffer from it (i.e., without envy, you will be happier, by not getting unhappy at others' achievements)...

Nothing really wrong with you, OP...

 

 

Except... except...

 

10 hours ago, berny22 said:

I don't like cats either.. but at least I hate cats with a reason..

 

[TommyTwommy]

Ok guys thanks for the answers.. I won't be hard on myself for being who I am.. Also looks like I expressed my self incorrectly.. 

Quote

not because I don't want to, because I'm jealous, envious or something..

I'm not jealous or envious or something.. it was all negated, but it turned out like I am jealous and envious..

 

anyways I'll just act like you said.. the problem is that my cousin is also my neighbor and you could say that we almost share the same backyard

[Yoinkerman]

Fake it until you make it