overwatch obsession issues.

[Pandora]

so i think i am pretty good with these things but i have run out of ideas and options.

 

my room mate has a very obsessive personality. he only plays one video game at a time. for example last few years it was world of Warcraft. he became aggressive, we raided 5 nights a week 4 hours a day, i ended up quitting the game because of him.

 

anyway this year its overwatch. he pulled his second all nighter today. he dropped from high diamond to platinum and rose back to low diamond. 

he isnt associating his exhaustion with his bad play. his yelling at his monitor is beginning to wear on me. its been like this for months but his aggressiveness has spiked recently.

 

I really don't want to deal with this anymore its frustrating and annoying to have him always angry.

i have been thinking about putting a restriction on the router to throttle bandwidth to over watch after 1am but i feel like thats wrong.

idk its 7am, he woke me up by yelling at his team mates. 

any ideas for dealing with this would be great.

 

Edit: i have tried confronting him about it but he becomes defensive and effectively shuts down all conversation.

[MrDynamicMan]

Just talk to him straight. Tell him he's playing shit because he hasn't slept in 40 hours and needs to get his shit together if he wants to have a future, or even play the game well. 

[Pandora]

Just now, MrDynamicMan said:

Just talk to him straight. Tell him he's playing shit because he hasn't slept in 40 hours and needs to get his shit together if he wants to have a future, or even play the game well. 

tried that approach first. he became combative. his "compromise" was to "shut up" (his words). obviously that didn't pan out. im going to try talking to him again later. but he is still playing overwatch at this point i think its just to spite me.

[Akima]

I've had obsessive issues, especially with games in my teens. Much more under control now in my later years.

 

You're right though.. he will get very defensive. From experience, the defensive attitude comes from knowing deep down it's an issue. He knows its an issue.

 

What'll happen now is he'll burn-out. All of a sudden get bored of the game.

 

The Psychology behind it is the seek/rewards mechanism in our brains. Pretty much the same chemical reaction with sex and drugs. Our brains get addicted to dopamine rushes and its the same reaction you would get when they get a win or level up - or something rewarding in the brain. The more the brain is exposed to these dopamine rushes, the more it'll eventually get used to it and craves a bigger win/rush. Hence the late nights, the progressive extremeness of his addiction.

 

Normally the addiction is the mind's way of dealing with something else. Depression, anxiety, stress etc. Trying to escape that reality with something he's more in control of.

 

Note I'm not a psychologist but from experience the above reflects my previous gaming addictions.

[Pandora]

Just now, Akima said:

I've had obsessive issues, especially with games in my teens. Much more under control now in my later years.

 

You're right though.. he will get very defensive. From experience, the defensive attitude comes from knowing deep down it's an issue. He knows its an issue.

 

What'll happen now is he'll burn-out. All of a sudden get bored of the game.

 

The Psychology behind it is the seek/rewards mechanism in our brains. Pretty much the same chemical reaction with sex and drugs. Our brains get addicted to dopamine rushes and its the same reaction you would get when they get a win or level up - or something rewarding in the brain. The more the brain is exposed to these dopamine rushes, the more it'll eventually get used to it and craves a bigger win/rush. Hence the late nights, the progressive extremeness of his addiction.

 

Normally the addiction is the mind's way of dealing with something else. Depression, anxiety, stress etc. Trying to escape that reality with something he's more in control of.

 

Note I'm not a psychologist but from experience the above reflects my previous gaming addictions.

i doubt he will burn it out. its been 8 months of this shit and last night was the peak of this issue.

i have seen this peak happen in myself quite a few times but these smaller obsessions only last at max a month or 2. my room mate claims he is going for grand masters. its all he talks about. 

[Castdeath97]

I would sometimes get stuck playing World of Tanks or War Thunder for a couple of hours even though I would suck, I would get the constant feeling that I'm somehow going to make up for my past poor games, but I only manage to get worse as time goes on due to the positive feedback loop I get in:

 

Plays bad --> gets annoyed ---> plays even worse because annoyed --> gets even more annoyed.....

 

I would get angry and pissed, but eventually I'd give up and most certainly won't get beyond 3 hours before I do so. The best solution I can suggest is to stop the looping by showing him how bad his stats would become if he doesn't catch a break every once a while. Maybe get a him a good single player game? The reason I can manage to escape the loop every time earlier than he does is because I always have something better to play that is significantly less frustrating (e.g. Dirt 3, Fallout 3, e.t.c.).  

[Pandora]

5 minutes ago, Castdeath97 said:

I would sometimes get stuck playing World of Tanks or War Thunder for a couple of hours even though I would suck, I would get the constant feeling that I'm somehow going to make up for my past poor games, but I only manage to get worse as time goes on due to the positive feedback loop I get in:

 

Plays bad --> gets annoyed ---> plays even worse because annoyed --> gets even more annoyed.....

 

I would get angry and pissed, but eventually I'd give up and most certainly won't get beyond 3 hours before I do so. The best solution I can suggest is to stop the looping by showing him how bad his stats would become if he doesn't catch a break every once a while. Maybe get a him a good single player game? The reason I can manage to escape the loop every time earlier than he does is because I always have something better to play that is significantly less frustrating (e.g. Dirt 3, Fallout 3, e.t.c.).  

i thought about that. but he REFUSES to play other games. he has probs 2TB of games downloaded and REFUSES to play them.

[Castdeath97]

12 minutes ago, thorbrantly101 said:

i doubt he will burn it out. its been 8 months of this shit and last night was the peak of this issue.

i have seen this peak happen in myself quite a few times but these smaller obsessions only last at max a month or 2. my room mate claims he is going for grand masters. its all he talks about. 

Well I would guess that something else is also causing the obsession, maybe poor self confidence?

[Pandora]

Just now, Castdeath97 said:

Well I would guess that something else is also causing the obsession, maybe poor self confidence?

i didn't think about that. it very well could be a lacking self image issue. 

maybe i should talk to him about getting counseling. 

actually that would explain a lot.

[The Cat Petter]

As Solomon once said, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."

Confront him and tell him how nothing good will come out of toxicity. You may want to prepare some words before you confront him. Try to show him the consequences of his stupid behaviour and give him a glimpse of his future if he stops being toxic and behaves like a decent person.

Let's hope he finds that alternative life much more attractive than raging day and night haha. May he "experience tranquility."

 

Act in a loving manner though. The last thing you want is him regarding you as an enemy and going even more downhill from there.

[Pandora]

Just now, The Cat Petter said:

As Solomon once said, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."

Confront him and tell him how nothing good will come out of toxicity. You may want to prepare some words before you confront him. Try to show him the consequences of his stupid behaviour and give him a glimpse of his future if he stops being toxic and behaves like a decent person.

Let's hope he finds that alternative life much more attractive than raging day and night haha. May he "experience tranquility."

he mains Zen

[The Cat Petter]

Just now, thorbrantly101 said:

he mains Zen

Hahaha the irony

[Pandora]

Just now, The Cat Petter said:

Hahaha the irony

but your right. i need to deal with it very forwardly. i shouldn't attempt to go around the issue.

[dalekphalm]

4 hours ago, thorbrantly101 said:

but your right. i need to deal with it very forwardly. i shouldn't attempt to go around the issue.

You should prepare for the possibility that you cannot solve his problems, and that he won't be willing to confront them.

 

You should start looking for somewhere else to live, another apartment, other roommates, etc. Who is on the lease? Both of you or just one of you? If you are on the lease (eg: You "own" the apartment, in a renting sense), you should look at the legal options to asking him to move out.

 

If you don't want to deal with the legalities of that (wouldn't blame you - here in Ontario, for example, it's almost impossible to evict someone over behaviour like what you describe), then start looking for a new apartment or a room in an apartment, just in case.

 

And be frank about it: His actions are impacting your life, interrupting your sleep, and being very disrupting to you. If he cannot get himself under control, you'll be forced to move out, and he'll be forced to take up your slack or find a new roommate (or do nothing, if you are each being renting an individual room from the landlord, rather than the actual apartment itself).

[Satisfoxy]

Disable internet throughout the apartment and blame it on the ISP. Play along by just not using internet for a week. Then maybe he will leave or realize its just a game and he needs to chill out. 

 

OR

 

Tell him he needs to get laid.

[Ryoku]

8 hours ago, thorbrantly101 said:

so i think i am pretty good with these things but i have run out of ideas and options.

 

my room mate has a very obsessive personality. he only plays one video game at a time. for example last few years it was world of Warcraft. he became aggressive, we raided 5 nights a week 4 hours a day, i ended up quitting the game because of him.

 

anyway this year its overwatch. he pulled his second all nighter today. he dropped from high diamond to platinum and rose back to low diamond. 

he isnt associating his exhaustion with his bad play. his yelling at his monitor is beginning to wear on me. its been like this for months but his aggressiveness has spiked recently.

 

I really don't want to deal with this anymore its frustrating and annoying to have him always angry.

i have been thinking about putting a restriction on the router to throttle bandwidth to over watch after 1am but i feel like thats wrong.

idk its 7am, he woke me up by yelling at his team mates. 

any ideas for dealing with this would be great.

 

Edit: i have tried confronting him about it but he becomes defensive and effectively shuts down all conversation.

Sounds like you need to find a new room mate or at least bring up the thought, that might be a wake up call to him that your serious about this being an issue.

[dalekphalm]

45 minutes ago, Ryoku said:

Sounds like you need to find a new room mate or at least bring up the thought, that might be a wake up call to him that your serious about this being an issue.

He needs to ensure what legally is an option to him. Who is the landlord? Who holds the lease? Is the lease for the entire apartment, or per bedroom? What conditions on the lease specify grounds for eviction? What is the length of the lease? 12-month? 8-month? Month-to-month? Etc

 

 

[The Cat Petter]

1 hour ago, Satisfoxy said:

Disable internet throughout the apartment and blame it on the ISP. Play along by just not using internet for a week. Then maybe he will leave or realize its just a game and he needs to chill out. 

 

OR

 

Tell him he needs to get laid.

probably the worst thing you can do lol

[Pandora]

1 hour ago, dalekphalm said:

He needs to ensure what legally is an option to him. Who is the landlord? Who holds the lease? Is the lease for the entire apartment, or per bedroom? What conditions on the lease specify grounds for eviction? What is the length of the lease? 12-month? 8-month? Month-to-month? Etc

 

 

i am his land lord and maybe room mate isnt the best term. if i wanted to kick him out yesterday i could do it without any legal intervention. we have *ahem* relations. 

[Pandora]

1 minute ago, JayKay3000 said:

You're a good friend.

 

I wish I'd had friends like you to help me with my gaming addiction. I also used to get really angry at the games too.

i wish i had people around me also for those times.

also im very hesitant to call it an addiction. an obsession is a better word. 

i used to work as an EMT and i saw addiction first hand, this isnt it.

[IceCold008]

The only way hes going to quit is he gets bored of the game. I used to play World of Warcraft for 6 years straight every day for hours at a time. Raid 2 to 4 times a week not going to bed until 3 or 4am in the morning. Sometimes i would pull all nighters with with a few clan members there was 4 of us mainly. 

 

The only way i stopped playing WOW is i got bored of it. I started playing other games. And then i meet someone got married and had kids lol. That stopped my gaming sessions LOL. I still playing alot of games i just get too tried these days. Old age does it lol.

[Pandora]

Just now, IceCold008 said:

The only way hes going to quit is he gets bored of the game. I used to play World of Warcraft for 6 years straight every day for hours at a time. Raid 2 to 4 times a week not going to bed until 3 or 4am in the morning. Sometimes i would pull all nighters with with a few clan members there was 4 of us mainly. 

 

The only way i stopped playing WOW is i got bored of it. I started playing other games. And then i meet someone got married and had kids lol. That stopped my gaming sessions LOL. I still playing alot of games i just get too tried these days. Old age does it lol.

ya. i know how that worked. i went for a Healing world first on Garosh 25H. it was stupid. (never got it)

and i really dont want to wait for burnout to set in for him. that might sound a little impatient and such. 

 

Let me put it this way. you know those stereotypes of LOL players? Yells at monitor, Doritos, reports every other player. its all that crap. 

[dalekphalm]

23 minutes ago, thorbrantly101 said:

i am his land lord and maybe room mate isnt the best term. if i wanted to kick him out yesterday i could do it without any legal intervention. we have *ahem* relations. 

Do you own or rent the apartment?

 

Either way, if he's renting the room from you, then legally, you're subletting the room to him. You're his landlord.

 

That means he has rights - what rights? Depends on where you live. Odds are, you cannot just kick him out ("evict" him). Especially if there's no contract, as that means you've defined no means of what he can be kicked out for. If there's no contract that does mean it's assumed to be a "month-to-month" lease.

 

If you just kick him out, he can potentially go after you in court or through other legal means.

 

If you two have intimate relations, that makes it even worse for you - if you've been living together long enough - also depending on your local country/state laws - he might be considered "common law", and thus have additional rights.

 

So as I said before, make sure of your legal footing before doing anything, so you know what your - and his - rights are.

[Eaglerino]

Kick him out if you can, if you can't find a new place and deal with him until the lease ends. If it's too bad for your sanity consider breaking the lease. You probably won't be able to change his behavior and it's not worth the energy to try.