Argument with GF

[TubsAlwaysWins]

Alright so I'm crazy uncomfortable talking about this but I won't be able to sleep without someone else's opinion. So here it goes

 

Basically my 'girlfriend' and I (I put in quotes because we aren't technically dating until the 1st of next month to make it easy to remember, but we act like we are. Idk its weird and off topic) were talking tonight when I said something that I thought was funny that I said to a friend a while ago. I said 'I fap not because it's easy, but because it's hard'. Then things sort of went down hill. She asked if I had done it (come on now. I'm a guy, don't be surprised) and I said yes because I try and be honest with her. And she said it's disgusting and told me to never do it again, and I dropped it because it made her super uncomfortable. 

 

So here's the question. What are your thoughts on masturbation (wow it just got weirder). We are both religious but she is much more than I am. I don't see much being wrong with it, but she sees everything wrong with it.)

 

I'm gonna put this in a anonymous poll if you don't want your name here and if you have more to say please comment below or message me if you don't want anything said.

 

(We don't have sex or anything mainly because we both think that needs to wait for marriage and because we are a distance apart, but we don't mind talking about it).

 

So let me know.

Once again, sorry if it was super awkward. Also idk if this is allowed but who knows. I've seen some weird stuff here

 

 

[SammoFS]

5 minutes ago, TubsAlwaysWins said:

Alright so I'm crazy uncomfortable talking about this but I won't be able to sleep without someone else's opinion. So here it goes

 

Basically my 'girlfriend' and I (I put in quotes because we aren't technically dating until the 1st of next month to make it easy to remember, but we act like we are. Idk its weird and off topic) were talking tonight when I said something that I thought was funny that I said to a friend a while ago. I said 'I fap not because it's easy, but because it's hard'. Then things sort of went down hill. She asked if I had done it (come on now. I'm a guy, don't be surprised) and I said yes because I try and be honest with her. And she said it's disgusting and told me to never do it again, and I dropped it because it made her super uncomfortable. 

 

So here's the question. What are your thoughts on masturbation (wow it just got weirder). We are both religious but she is much more than I am. I don't see much being wrong with it, but she sees everything wrong with it.)

 

I'm gonna put this in a anonymous poll if you don't want your name here and if you have more to say please comment below or message me if you don't want anything said.

 

(We don't have sex or anything mainly because we both think that needs to wait for marriage and because we are a distance apart, but we don't mind talking about it).

 

So let me know.

Once again, sorry if it was super awkward. Also idk if this is allowed but who knows. I've seen some weird stuff here

 

 

I think she's wrong here, There is nothin' wrong with masturbation imo.

 

(I do it lol)

[GDRRiley]

ask her if she has

[TubsAlwaysWins]

5 minutes ago, Rika Shiguma said:

I think she's wrong here, There is nothin' wrong with masturbation imo.

 

(I do it lol)

I mean I think the adultery thing could be bad but if I'm not addicted to it and I'm not going at it why care? Idk I sort of needed to rant. Thanks for replying 

[TubsAlwaysWins]

2 minutes ago, GDRRiley said:

ask her if she has

Guarantee she hasn't. Based on her super strong opinion on it

[GDRRiley]

3 minutes ago, TubsAlwaysWins said:

Guarantee she hasn't. Based on her super strong opinion on it

just ask and see what she says, she may be a hypocrite on that subject 

[TubsAlwaysWins]

1 minute ago, GDRRiley said:

just ask and see what she says, she may be a hypocrite on that subject 

I might eventually But we will see

[kingkickolas]

Absolutely nothing wrong with it. Don't feel bad for being perfectly normal and healthy. As Stephen Fry put it, "The only people obsessed with food are the anorexic and the morbidly obese." (Drawing the analogy to those who abstain from sex and those who are addicted to it.) I'd go on, but I'm pretty sure I'd get the thread locked haha.

[TubsAlwaysWins]

1 minute ago, kingkickolas said:

Absolutely nothing wrong with it. Don't feel bad for being perfectly normal and healthy. As Stephen Fry put it, "The only people obsessed with food are the anorexic and the morbidly obese." (Drawing the analogy to those who abstain from sex and those who are addicted to it.) I'd go on, but I'm pretty sure I'd get the thread locked haha.

Lol. The only reason I feel bad is because she doesn't like it and I want to make her happy 

[kingkickolas]

1 minute ago, TubsAlwaysWins said:

Lol. The only reason I feel bad is because she doesn't like it and I want to make her happy 

Then it only depends if you're willing to give that up to make her happy. Personally, I see something like that as a bit coercive and regressive, and a big red flag on the road to crazy town. But again, this is a very nice thread and I don't want to lock it.

[TubsAlwaysWins]

3 minutes ago, kingkickolas said:

Then it only depends if you're willing to give that up to make her happy. Personally, I see something like that as a bit coercive and regressive, and a big red flag on the road to crazy town. But again, this is a very nice thread and I don't want to lock it.

Lol. If you need to message me 

[MrDynamicMan]

25 minutes ago, TubsAlwaysWins said:

I mean I think the adultery thing could be bad but if I'm not addicted to it and I'm not going at it why care? Idk I sort of needed to rant. Thanks for replying 

That's really wierd, Idk why she'd be so against this. Perhaps religious? Either way Idk if she's for you if she's that controlling. 

[Bleedingyamato]

22 minutes ago, TubsAlwaysWins said:

I mean I think the adultery thing could be bad but if I'm not addicted to it and I'm not going at it why care? Idk I sort of needed to rant. Thanks for replying 

Doing *that* with yourself has nothing to do with adultery.  You aren't a bad person because you do that.

 

8 minutes ago, kingkickolas said:

Then it only depends if you're willing to give that up to make her happy. Personally, I see something like that as a bit coercive and regressive, and a big red flag on the road to crazy town. But again, this is a very nice thread and I don't want to lock it.

I agree.    A healthy relationship is not where the girl steps on you and thinks she can decide what you are or aren't allowed to do.  Asking is one thing but trying to be the boss of op is 100% not ok.   If this girl has a problem with op doing that then fine if op is ok with stopping but if not then it's time to move on to less controlling pastures.  

[TubsAlwaysWins]

1 minute ago, MrDynamicMan said:

That's really wierd, Idk why she'd be so against this. Perhaps religious? Either way Idk if she's for you if she's that controlling. 

She's religious. And she's not that controlling, but we will see

[Bleedingyamato]

3 minutes ago, TubsAlwaysWins said:

She's religious. And she's not that controlling, but we will see

She's trying to decide if you're allowed to touch yourself downstairs dude.  That's controlling.  

 

People do that to themselves.  It's normal.  For her to jump right to "you're not allowed to do that because I said so" is not a good sign.

[RainColt]

Let her win, it's really your only option, shes wrong but you cant win

[MrDynamicMan]

2 minutes ago, RainColt said:

Let her win, it's really your only option, shes wrong but you cant win

That's the spirit! 

[plsno]

I would start looking for a new girlfriend. It's pretty unreasonable to expect someone to not masturbate when expecting them to forgo sex till marriage. 

[Space Reptile]

1 hour ago, TubsAlwaysWins said:

So here's the question. What are your thoughts on masturbation 

[dalekphalm]

9 hours ago, TubsAlwaysWins said:

Alright so I'm crazy uncomfortable talking about this but I won't be able to sleep without someone else's opinion. So here it goes

 

Basically my 'girlfriend' and I (I put in quotes because we aren't technically dating until the 1st of next month to make it easy to remember, but we act like we are. Idk its weird and off topic) were talking tonight when I said something that I thought was funny that I said to a friend a while ago. I said 'I fap not because it's easy, but because it's hard'. Then things sort of went down hill. She asked if I had done it (come on now. I'm a guy, don't be surprised) and I said yes because I try and be honest with her. And she said it's disgusting and told me to never do it again, and I dropped it because it made her super uncomfortable. 

 

So here's the question. What are your thoughts on masturbation (wow it just got weirder). We are both religious but she is much more than I am. I don't see much being wrong with it, but she sees everything wrong with it.)

 

I'm gonna put this in a anonymous poll if you don't want your name here and if you have more to say please comment below or message me if you don't want anything said.

 

(We don't have sex or anything mainly because we both think that needs to wait for marriage and because we are a distance apart, but we don't mind talking about it).

 

So let me know.

Once again, sorry if it was super awkward. Also idk if this is allowed but who knows. I've seen some weird stuff here

 

 

I'm gonna be honest. Your Girlfriend has an unhealthy view of sex - in particular, masturbation. It's 100% normal and healthy for a person - male or female, to do it. If she's uncomfortable with the idea, that's fine. She doesn't have to do it herself. But if she's asking you to "never do it again", then she needs to reconsider her priorities. Or, if you feel like this relationship might become long term, she might need to see a sex therapist to learn a healthy view on personal sexual behaviours.

 

On a side note, while there's nothing inherently wrong with waiting for marriage to have sex, my personal view is that if you are committed, it's probably a good idea to "try it out" before marriage at least once. Sexual compatibility can have a large impact on how successful a marriage is. If, for example, you're not on the same page as your partner, it can create resentment and tension that can rip a marriage apart.

 

If she forces the point that she will not accept you masturbating, then you should honestly break it off, because that's never going to work.

[dalekphalm]

9 hours ago, TubsAlwaysWins said:

I mean I think the adultery thing could be bad but if I'm not addicted to it and I'm not going at it why care? Idk I sort of needed to rant. Thanks for replying 

What does Adultery and Masturbation have to do with each other? That's right... nothing at all.

8 hours ago, RainColt said:

Let her win, it's really your only option, shes wrong but you cant win

No. Because if you "let her win", it'll essentially just create the foundation for a terrible relationship that will inevitably end badly.

8 hours ago, noobadin said:

I would start looking for a new girlfriend. It's pretty unreasonable to expect someone to not masturbate when expecting them to forgo sex till marriage. 

Agreed. Hell, forcing someone to not masturbate while also abstaining until marriage is a recipe for disaster.

 

@TubsAlwaysWins, I hope you've both taken a full and complete sexual education course in school. If she's against masturbation, I'd question what else she hasn't been educated on.

[AshleyAshes]

8 hours ago, RainColt said:

Let her win, it's really your only option, shes wrong but you cant win

Winning can totally be 'Being single and not dating someone who wants to control weather you masturbate or not'.

[79wjd]

13 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

I'm gonna be honest. Your Girlfriend has an unhealthy view of sex - in particular, masturbation. It's 100% normal and healthy for a person - male or female, to do it. If she's uncomfortable with the idea, that's fine. She doesn't have to do it herself. But if she's asking you to "never do it again", then she needs to reconsider her priorities. Or, if you feel like this relationship might become long term, she might need to see a sex therapist to learn a healthy view on personal sexual behaviours.

 

If she forces the point that she will not accept you masturbating, then you should honestly break it off, because that's never going to work.

Some, very religious, people won't even consider marrying someone who isn't a virgin because sex before marriage isn't "allowed". Masturbation is kind of in the same boat as that. So, I could understand why a very religious person might have a problem with their significant other doing it (and it also shows you're in very different religious places). 

[dalekphalm]

1 minute ago, djdwosk97 said:

Some, very religious, people won't even consider marrying someone who isn't a virgin because sex before marriage isn't "allowed". Masturbation is kind of in the same boat as that. So, I could understand why a very religious person might have a problem with their significant other doing it (and it also shows you're in very different religious places). 

Generally speaking, those people live in a country with a culture that encourages that backwards behaviour.

 

I assumed the OP was from a western nation (I of course could be wrong), and thus, that line of thought would be considered out of date, and extremely unhealthy for your psyche.

[79wjd]

1 minute ago, dalekphalm said:

Generally speaking, those people live in a country with a culture that encourages that backwards behaviour.

 

I assumed the OP was from a western nation (I of course could be wrong), and thus, that line of thought would be considered out of date, and extremely unhealthy for your psyche.

Even in the US there are plenty of people with that belief. (of course, it's still only really the ultra religious)