Dumbest Tech Questions/Quotes You've Ever Heard

[NInety]

This was true once.  When we used to have floppy drives.

It was said today though...

[Ekpyrosis]

"The UI of Windows is intuitive" I know I'll get flak for this

[Zhuocheng]

My friend said a Mac can run SLI with his TV and that's why Apple is superior in every way

[TheConverter]

30hz is optimal for gaming.

 

No problem playing Witcher 3 at 30FPS on a G-SYNC monitor.

[MoonlightSylv]

Windows Vista was just good, if you ask me. It was basically just Windows 7, just the little bit buggier.

Tbh It wasn't terrible, It just wasn't completely optimized.

[NInety]

"You sure my PC needs Ram"

Oh God.....

 

Me: "What computer do you have"

Person: "Windows 8.1"

Me: "*Facepalm*"

My neighbor said that to me once.

 

Apple products "just work"

I just gagged.

 

30hz is optimal for gaming.

Well, it can be.

 

My friend calls it "UBS" and refuses to believe it's USB, so I always laugh inside when we're in Engineering and he says "Hey where did you put my UBS drive?" More of a "Experience with non-techies" post than a quote but he says that all the time so I thought I'd put it here.

Tell him what USB stands for. (Universal Serial Bus)

 

My friend said a Mac can run SLI with his TV and that's why Apple is superior in every way

haha

[Naeaes]

Tbh It wasn't terrible, It just wasn't completely optimized.

IMHO it was just ahead of it's time. It was too heavy for the computers of the era.

[toms94z71]

people seem to be amazed that I am running 4 screens off the same computer whenever they come over to my house. I get asked "how do you move your mouse across all the different computers like that?" 

[TheConverter]

Fury X is better then 980Ti 

[Emanuel_M]

someone asking if they can build a pc and install the ps4 os on it. happened on linustechtips.com im serious.

[TheConverter]

someone asking if they can build a pc and install the ps4 os on it. happened on linustechtips.com im serious.

 

Saw that one 0,0

[TheMechEngineer]

The time when I was at the refuse store at the local tip, and they slapped a price of $10 on an ancient AMD 486 computer.

Then they only asked $20 for a HP workstation beast-mode machine with dual Pentium III processors LOL

 

(not really a quote, but pretty dumb)

[Ekpyrosis]

someone asking if they can build a pc and install the ps4 os on it. happened on linustechtips.com im serious.

It even happened multiple times iirc.

[ANewFace]

Saw that one 0,0

Same

[KemoKa]

Kid cousin *Points at gigantic desktop tower*
"Is that your CPU?"
*le me, disassembles entire computer, takes CPU out of socket*
"THIS IS THE CPU!!!"
cousin: "wow, that's small... Is that the computer?"
Me: *facepalm, reassembles computer, overclocks, clears registry and resets TCP stack to remove the stupid from brain*

 

********************

Person: *points at monitor* "This is my computer"
Me: *Picard facepalm*

********************

"My computer is running slow, can you fix it, pl0x?"
me - "Yes" *Opens CCleaner, starts deleting toolbars*
person - "NUUUUUUUU WAT ARE YOU DOING I NEED THOSE THEY'RE USEFUL!"
me - *uninstalls PC Optimizer Advanced Pro"
person "NO, STOP IIIIIIIT THAT'S AN IMPORTANT PROGRAM"
me - *uninstalls all four antivirus programs except for Malwarebytes, which has not become cancer just yet*
person "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, THOSE PROTECT MY COMPUTER."
Me: Stop freaking clicking on every poxy download button you see on the pornhub, dude. then no viruses will infect your computer. EVER.

********************

"There is no reason why anyone would want a computer in their home."

"We see a world market for maybe five computers."

 

 

 

 

 

I crei Evritiem...

[Full Metal Jacket]

"Can I emulate the PS4 on my PC for free?" pretty sure those emulators are bullshit, and if they're not they likely need a survey to pass before you're allowed to use it.

[All]

********************

"My computer is running slow, can you fix it, pl0x?"

me - "Yes" *Opens CCleaner, starts deleting toolbars*

person - "NUUUUUUUU WAT ARE YOU DOING I NEED THOSE THEY'RE USEFUL!"

me - *uninstalls PC Optimizer Advanced Pro"

person "NO, STOP IIIIIIIT THAT'S AN IMPORTANT PROGRAM"

me - *uninstalls all four antivirus programs except for Malwarebytes, which has not become cancer just yet*

person "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, THOSE PROTECT MY COMPUTER.

This pretty much sums up my experience with trying to help my parents get malware off their computer.

[KE2012]

Some guy in my uni. "why do you over clock? You don't get any additional performance!" What makes this about 100x worse is that we are in a computer architecture lesson at the time, at first thoughtn he was being sarcastic, he wasn't

And another "do I need a hard drive? XYZ said all my programs are stored in RAM"

[RazerZ]

"If you're running an overclocked cpu you NEED water cooling. I'd be scared of burning the CPU with plain air cooling". 

[Gale]

I refuse to believe that you guys aren't making most of these up.

[SansVarnic]

people seem to be amazed that I am running 4 screens off the same computer whenever they come over to my house. I get asked "how do you move your mouse across all the different computers like that?" 

I suppose you answered "because I'm awesome, and to reach this level you had to be born this way".  :lol:

[iamdarkbowser]

Human eyes don't see in FPS

[Oskar94a]

My teacher back in high school said "This pc is so slow, I'll go and have the IT make it receive more electricity" 

[kirashi]

Me: "What computer do you have"

Person: "Windows 8.1"

Me: "*Facepalm*"

Apple products "just work"

 

And when they don't work, what Macbook do you have?

--I've got an <APPLE DEVICE>. It's not working right.

OK. Which model is it? Or if you don't know that, what OS is it running? Or at the very least, what year is it?

--The new one. It's <COLOR> and sleek. YOU must have sold me a DEFECTIVE product! Apple is perfect.

Yes, very good. A machete is just as silver and sleek, but unlike your <APPLE DEVICE> machetes fit in small crevices.

Help me help you, or I'll demonstrate how much better this machete is at not breaking down under tight circumstance.

 

Pretty much how ever conversation went when assisting people at the store I used to work at. Minus the bit about the machete.

[Huginn]

So at my dorm everyone has an ethernet port in the wall of their room. Most people just hook their laptop or w/e up, but of course you can just as well install a wireless router. So that's what I did. Since I'm a nice guy, I let my friends use the wifi for their phones. 2 of my friends asked me how much I had to pay monthly in order to get WiFi. The concept of how a router works is apparently a well kept secret in Belgium. Probably because cable companies just install a WiFi router in your house, and suddenly the magical internet is there!