What's your dumbest injury?

[KE2012]

I was cutting with my penknife and I got distracted by something stupid, anyway in that moment  of distraction I accidentally performed surgery on my finger.... all the way down to the bone.  

[Sammael]

Years ago when I was a kid even younger than you 12yolds, I was opening a pack of hi-c.  It was covered in plastic and so I got a knife with a serrated edge to cut through it to get to my prize.  And so I sawed away, my middle finger underneath the edge of the blade at the edge of the container.  The knife slipped...

 

 

Imaginations are too weak, I need you all to see an example of what dug into the side of my middle finger.

 

 

 

It was a bit smaller than that, but more jagged.  A stream of blood rand down my hand as I stared in horror.  I was fine, but I retain a scar on the side of my middle finger to this day where the skin had to violently stitch itself back together.

 

 

But I passed my darwin award test, I survived.

[Calavera]

A few months back I was at work trying to get the drain in the floor to allow the water to flush through, when it didn't I grabbed a sharp pin to pry open the little "bucket" to stop junk from blocking the pipe. Some people were watching and it slipped and I cut a 2 inch slit into my finger with a PIN, not a knife or anything.

The thing is, it's in a butchery and there was minced meat and wet flesh in the water.

It was bleeding like crazy. I washed my hands and surprisingly I still have both my hands. Didn't get infected.

 

But that's pretty much expected, as long as it's bleeding it's not getting bacteria in the wound.

[Calavera]

Oh and when I was like 10 I was walking through some bushes when suddenly I got blocked.

I didn't feel anything, but suddenly my knee was bleeding.

There's still a very straight scar on my knee, actually looks rather nice

[Slash003]

Ah i went digging through thine thick skull (which you will hear about) to post more injuries

 

I fell out of bed on my face and broke my nose when i was 3. Speaking of noses i've broken it so many tiems my nose just bends now no longer breaks

 

In 6th grade I fell UP the stairs and fucked up my nose...again.

 

In 7th grade a friend of mine had a mechanical pencil in his hand and another friend pushed me, and that mechanical pencil went right under the glasses lens and stabbed me below the eye. It was bleeding like a mofo.

 

That same friend turned around fast with a piece of paper and cut my with it. It was bleeding and i was practically blind in that eye for a week or two.

 

I twisted a testicle somehow and it swelled into a balloon and had to go to the hospital. Most embarrassing visit.

 

I was walking and saw this girl I liked waved to her, turned back forward and ran straight into a pole. guess what got fucked up again! meh nose.

 

I was doing stunts on my bike and friend dared me to jump off it. I peddled like a madman down a tall hill which launched me up this uphill over a jump where i jumped onto the seat then jumped off in a back flip trying to do a 720 I managed to do 360+270. I landed on my face. I was knocked out. I was glad i had my helmet on or I woulda split my head on the rock that knocked me out. I skinned my knees and cheese grated my forearm from that (thats when it looks like you go the cheese grater pattern on your arm) and ofcourse fucked up my nose.

 

I bit a hockey puck. flying at high miles per hour. i lost a bunch of baby teeth.

 

(this one happened last night) I felt something land on my head at a camping trip. I brushed it with my hand and it was a wasp and stung my thumb, though a flung it into the dirt which we poured diesel on earlier and were burning muhahaha

 

Cut my hands while playing with knives so damn much.

 

Played foot ball and got 3 toes broken. (we played an aggressive more tackled based version of football like we'd have dog piles of people, so bruising was common.

 

some guy broke my shin bone by "accidentally" kicking it in soccer.

 

Will post more as I remember them.

[alicskysareblue]

probably the most painful, a stress fracture that I continued to run and walk on...ended having three week were I literally did NOTHING due to the excrucitating pain 

[nekomata]

This is turning into something  painful rather than being funny

[terrytek]

Took a sledgehammer to my balls. I think i can't have children.

[nekomata]

Took a sledgehammer to my balls. I think i can't have children.

Are you sure it's still intact?

[MeDownYou]

...Well, i did use a toy truck down a ditch rolled it and broke my arm...

 

Does that count?

 

Oh, or when I was running in pitch darkness and ran into a concrete pillar

 

count?

 

Well, I guess when I woke up with my legs and my arms, then rolled off my the top of my bunkbed (which is on top of dressers), and promptly landed bruising about half of my body.

[JaSoN_XzIoN]

This is what i was like when i saw @

JaSoN_XzIoN 's postWas more embarrassing than painful tbh , only noticed the blood a minute later. And then when I got to the hospital (which luckily is just up the road from me) the only doctor available to do stitches was of the young blonde female variant, I was 16 at the time...

[crazydog2580]

Back in 2008 for my 21st i was on a Xmas pub crawl and i was extremely pissed i decided to flip over a tree. my friend got a pic of the exact time i hit the ground. i tore ligament's in my knee and ankle. my knee still plays up. 

 

[GuruMeditationError]

probably the most painful, a stress fracture that I continued to run and walk on...ended having three week were I literally did NOTHING due to the excrucitating pain 

 

Omg, I got a stress fracture in my lower leg when I was practicing martial arts. I basically had to move in different ways to protect it and used to torque it every now and again to see how it was holding up. :facepalm:

 

But that wasn't dumb, that was commitment goddammit. But no...actually...no...really...that was really dumb. :0/

[Wauthar]

I ran through the window of our front door when I was 7 or 8 -> 2 nice deep scars on my wrists.

I was cleaning the fishbowl in the sink at 13, lifted it out of the sink, bowl slipped and shattered. One long shard slid the top of my left ring finger vertically. Add 1 scar.

A friend of mine was screwing around with a paperclip, hooked it around my right forearm. It resulted in a tiny wound, but even that ended in a small scar...

[as96]

Took a sledgehammer to my balls. I think i can't have children.

How did that happen?

[GuruMeditationError]

 Oops, double post. :0/

[GuruMeditationError]

How did that happen?

 

With the power of sarcasm!!!  

 

 

 

But I passed my darwin award test, I survived.

 

I'm failing that every day with what I post to this forum :rolleyes:

 

In fact I think it may actually have significantly impacted my credit rating X0D

 

[Ialyrn]

Was doing some show jumping practice, as I was an avid horse rider a couple of years back. While taking the last jump, I stood up too early and lent too far forward. Ended up doing a somersault in mid air right off the saddle. Landed at a very painful point between my bum and lower back. The horse in question was a 16 hand thoroughbred, and the jump in question was around a metre off the ground; give or take. So I was effectively around 2 metres in the air mid jump, which is the point I left the saddle. I still have the occasional pain in my lower back, but luckily I was wearing a riding skull cap and a purple label body protector; so that limited any further injuries. Just thankful I didn't land on my head, was it would have been a broken neck for sure.

[Me1z]

I've got two dumb injury stories for you:

 

I was running from my house to my shed and suddenly found myself upside-down whilst still being propelled forward through the air. I landed on my head and my neck gave away instantly, pulling/tearing a bunch of muscles and my left shoulder was forced to absorb the full weight of my body crashing down on it, snapping my collar bone clean in two. To this day I do not know how I suddenly came to be upside-down. Hell, my parents who witnessed the train wreck don't even fully comprehend what they saw. Basically, I managed to break my collarbone by running approximately 20ft in a straight line across a level surface.

 

When I was in high school I used to cut through the courtyard to avoid the overly crowded halls on my way to class. On one rather unfortunate day I stepped in a puddle and it splashed mud on a particularly tall flamboyant guy's designer jeans. He then proceeded to chase me around the court yard kicking my ass, in the literal sense, like his boot was impacting my rear end. Instinctively I shielded myself with my hand and apparently the result of having your hand repeatedly kicked by someone almost twice your size is broken bones. I couldn't write with my right hand for 6 months because I splashed mud on the wrong guy's jeans. I had known this guy before the incident, and he had always taken fashion a bit too seriously.....

[GuruMeditationError]

Was doing some show jumping practice, as I was an avid horse rider a couple of years back. While taking the last jump, I stood up too early and lent too far forward. Ended up doing a somersault in mid air right off the saddle. Landed at a very painful point between my bum and lower back. The horse in question was a 16 hand thoroughbred, and the jump in question was around a metre off the ground; give or take. So I was effectively around 2 metres in the air mid jump, which is the point I left the saddle. I still have the occasional pain in my lower back, but luckily I was wearing a riding skull cap and a purple label body protector; so that limited any further injuries. Just thankful I didn't land on my head, was it would have been a broken neck for sure.

 

(Sorry for the pun but) I was (potentially) about a pony tail away from a subdural haematoma when I was flipped off of my mountain bike by a car on a roundabout. I basically landed in a way that my spine rolled flat and kind of whipped the back of my head onto the road. Luckily I had a shock absorber in the form of the pony tail I'd tied that morning. I think I was a little concussed. I was picked up by an ambulance and rushed past the hospital waiting room for observation. It was a while before I kind of realised I'd been really dazed for quite a while.

 

It's weird but I had Robbie Williams' Old Before I Die stuck in my head all that morning.

[Ialyrn]

(Sorry for the pun but) I was (potentially) about a pony tail away from a subdural haematoma when I was flipped off of my mountain bike by a car on a roundabout. I basically landed in a way that my spine rolled flat and kind of whipped the back of my head onto the road. Luckily I had a shock absorber in the form of the pony tail I'd tied that morning. I think I was a little concussed. I was picked up by an ambulance and rushed past the hospital waiting room for observation. It was a while before I kind of realised I'd been really dazed for quite a while.

 

It's weird but I had Robbie Williams' Old Before I Die stuck in my head all that morning.

Last year before I was given the all clear with regards to taking HRT, the doctors found a problem with my liver. They had to take some more blood to test again, and also did an ultrasound on my abdomen. I was worried till all the test results came back clear that the accident I mentioned had cause a tear or something in my liver or somewhere else. Thankfully that wasn't the case though, so yeh; all good now.

It is amazing some of the accidents we can get into, and the effects it can have on our bodies though. But equally amazing what people can also survive with no real lasting effects. Such as some people surviving a skydiving accident when their parachutes fail, and even some really bad car crashes. 

[Slash003]

I remembered another thing. Back when me and some of my friends were camping we'd light matches twirl em in the air then catch the non burning end in our teeth then blow out the burning end for fun. Well for once I was fine cuz i did it ok but one of my friend was doing it and the match flipped over in air and burned the side of his cheek like a straight line from his mouth. To this day he still has that scar.

[alicskysareblue]

Omg, I got a stress fracture in my lower leg when I was practicing martial arts. I basically had to move in different ways to protect it and used to torque it every now and again to see how it was holding up. :facepalm:

 

But that wasn't dumb, that was commitment goddammit. But no...actually...no...really...that was really dumb. :0/

yeah thats the thing I had to keep on adjusting my leg while sitting because any pressure would cause incrediable pain.

 

the one good thing that came out of it was that do to being unable to do anything for 3 weeks I devoted my time to fixing my (then) anceint desktop from 1998 (this was all in 2010 btw) it was pointless but it was what started me into computers, and is why I am now going into I.T now

 

dumb things can lead to good outcomes ....sometimes

[GuruMeditationError]

 D'oh! Another double post.

[GuruMeditationError]

 

I remembered another thing. Back when me and some of my friends were camping we'd light matches twirl em in the air then catch the non burning end in our teeth then blow out the burning end for fun. Well for once I was fine cuz i did it ok but one of my friend was doing it and the match flipped over in air and burned the side of his cheek like a straight line from his mouth. To this day he still has that scar.

 

Back when I used to smoke (probably almost twenty years ago now) I think, at least twice, while drunk, I dropped cigarettes and put the burning end back into my mouth. I think on one occasion someone actually had to point the fact out to me.  X0D

 

Last year before I was given the all clear with regards to taking HRT, the doctors found a problem with my liver. They had to take some more blood to test again, and also did an ultrasound on my abdomen. I was worried till all the test results came back clear that the accident I mentioned had cause a tear or something in my liver or somewhere else. Thankfully that wasn't the case though, so yeh; all good now.

It is amazing some of the accidents we can get into, and the effects it can have on our bodies though. But equally amazing what people can also survive with no real lasting effects. Such as some people surviving a skydiving accident when their parachutes fail, and even some really bad car crashes. 

 

HRT? Your profile says your 30?! (Maybe I should have asked that in a private message?)

 

But yeah, I can't help but think I've recovered a lot of my mental faculties from what I'm sure must have been a mild form of brain damage :rolleyes:  lol 

 

I refreshed my English language skills from my (Japanese) ex's English Language exercise books and still have a faint Japanese accent. :rolleyes: