Experiences with non-techies

[Don Vielenio]

8 minutes ago, Bananasplit_00 said:

I had a short internship as a backup IT guy and one person in the whole building DEMANDED a macbook to do any work what so ever... Im not sure why people like that arent just fired

Working for public services makes it harder to fire those people, most the time it's more like, "DEAL WITH IT!"

[2SidedPolygon]

Was watching Men In Black with my mom a week or so ago, when it came to the scene where whathisname was using a hypothetical GPS where you can see things in extreme detail in realtime, zooming in on a person in their yard.
I commented, "I wonder if one of these days we'll actually be able to have something that advanced", and my mom went on and on about how the government already has the technology and can spy on anybody on earth with satellites from space.

[Bananasplit_00]

2 minutes ago, 2SidedPolygon said:

Was watching Men In Black with my mom a week or so ago, when it came to the scene where whathisname was using a hypothetical GPS where you can see things in extreme detail in realtime, zooming in on a person in their yard.
I commented, "I wonder if one of these days we'll actually be able to have something that advanced", and my mom went on and on about how the government already has the technology and can spy on anybody on earth with satellites from space.

well yah, kinda. You can get some pretty damn zoomed in pictures of anywhere on earth from satellites.

[2SidedPolygon]

10 minutes ago, Bananasplit_00 said:

well yah, kinda. You can get some pretty damn zoomed in pictures of anywhere on earth from satellites.

Yes, but the main thing she was referring to was the realtime video, which we certainly don't have

[Juniiii]

45 minutes ago, 2SidedPolygon said:

Was watching Men In Black with my mom a week or so ago, when it came to the scene where whathisname was using a hypothetical GPS where you can see things in extreme detail in realtime, zooming in on a person in their yard.
I commented, "I wonder if one of these days we'll actually be able to have something that advanced", and my mom went on and on about how the government already has the technology and can spy on anybody on earth with satellites from space.

Actually yes the government has had this technology forever, apps like google earth are limited by law to a certain resolution, but he government has technology to see a tennis ball from space with lots of detail. But it’s not with real time and can only be updated every once in a while.

[Guest]

Social status in my school is based on if you have the iPhone Ex Are or the Ex Ess Max. and if you have airPoDs.

[GilmourD]

2 hours ago, 2SidedPolygon said:

Was watching Men In Black with my mom a week or so ago, when it came to the scene where whathisname was using a hypothetical GPS where you can see things in extreme detail in realtime, zooming in on a person in their yard.
I commented, "I wonder if one of these days we'll actually be able to have something that advanced", and my mom went on and on about how the government already has the technology and can spy on anybody on earth with satellites from space.

Honestly, I don't think she's actually wrong... I just think it's expensive, has classified ramifications, and hasn't trickled down to the consumer level, yet. But look at the aerial views on Google Maps. Those cameras are running all the time. They just compile images in waves for continuity and cost savings rather than having a live view. I mean, I identifiably found my car in Google Maps once in one of the archived views, so... [shrug]

[2SidedPolygon]

5 minutes ago, GilmourD said:

Honestly, I don't think she's actually wrong... I just think it's expensive, has classified ramifications, and hasn't trickled down to the consumer level, yet. But look at the aerial views on Google Maps. Those cameras are running all the time. They just compile images in waves for continuity and cost savings rather than having a live view. I mean, I identifiably found my car in Google Maps once in one of the archived views, so... [shrug]

I dunno, I just kinda brushed it off as silly on first hearing, but she well might be onto something

[Jtalk4456]

26 minutes ago, Schnoz said:

So this happened today:

Them: I have a virus on my laptop, can you help me?

Me: Let me see. *sees hundreds of .WNCYR files* *disables WannaCry.exe in Task Manager* It's a ransomware, and it encrypted your files. You're going to have to pay to get them back.

Them: IM NOT GOING TO PAY YOU FOR MY FUCKING FILES!!!

Me: You're paying them, not me. Why'd you get it by the way?

Them: My science report is due next period, and I heard you were good at bio, so I ran WannaCry to steal your bio report.

Me: That's now how it works. Only money is transferred. Do you realize you could have spread it to other systems? Also, my system is patched against WannaCry, so you never could have got it.

Them: I DON'T CARE GIVE MY FILES BACK!!!

Me: You'll have to pay for your own actions. There are 2^4096 combinations of security key this virus could use, so paying is the only way to get them back.

Them: I DON'T FUCKING CARE!!! YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK YOU BITCHY ASSHOLE!!!

Me: I can destroy your computer at will. If you push me any further, I will do it.

Them: What are you gonna do, huh?! Huh? I bet you won't do anything, you dumbass!

Me:

   *pulls out flash drive*

   *plugs in computer*

   *copies notpetya1.exe*

   Are you sure? You'll lose everything. If you apologize to me right now, I won't destroy it.

Them: I'M NEVER GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU!!! YOU'RE A [long string of swears]

Me: All right then. Your loss. *runs notpetya1.exe*

Computer: *bluescreens*

Them: WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT DID YOU DO I'M SORRY PLEASE GIVE MY FILES BACK

Me: It is too late for that now. The MBR is overwritten, and this PC is never starting up again.

Them: *slams keyboard* *fake chkdsk screen appears* HAHA!!! WINDOWS IS REPAIRING MY DISK! I'LL GET MY FILES BACK!!!

Computer: *displays seizure-inducing skull*

He screamed like a little girl and flinched. After recomposing himself, he swore a lot and yeeted his PC. 

 

And that is why people don't mess with me. 

So you intentionally deleted his chance of getting his files back? Why? just walk away if he won't listen. No need to become the bad guy to prove a point

[GilmourD]

1 hour ago, Jtalk4456 said:

So you intentionally deleted his chance of getting his files back? Why? just walk away if he won't listen. No need to become the bad guy to prove a point

Right? That just sounded like a dick move.

 

Use your powers for good, not evil.

[Nebari]

4 hours ago, Schnoz said:

And that is why people don't mess with me. 

 

 

But.... why?

[Juniiii]

17 hours ago, Schnoz said:

So this happened today:

Them: I have a virus on my laptop, can you help me?

Me: Let me see. *sees hundreds of .WNCYR files* *disables WannaCry.exe in Task Manager* It's a ransomware, and it encrypted your files. You're going to have to pay to get them back.

Them: IM NOT GOING TO PAY YOU FOR MY FUCKING FILES!!!

Me: You're paying them, not me. Why'd you get it by the way?

Them: My science report is due next period, and I heard you were good at bio, so I ran WannaCry to steal your bio report.

Me: That's now how it works. Only money is transferred. Do you realize you could have spread it to other systems? Also, my system is patched against WannaCry, so you never could have got it.

Them: I DON'T CARE GIVE MY FILES BACK!!!

Me: You'll have to pay for your own actions. There are 2^4096 combinations of security key this virus could use, so paying is the only way to get them back.

Them: I DON'T FUCKING CARE!!! YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK YOU BITCHY ASSHOLE!!!

Me: I can destroy your computer at will. If you push me any further, I will do it.

Them: What are you gonna do, huh?! Huh? I bet you won't do anything, you dumbass!

Me:

   *pulls out flash drive*

   *plugs in computer*

   *copies notpetya1.exe*

   Are you sure? You'll lose everything. If you apologize to me right now, I won't destroy it.

Them: I'M NEVER GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU!!! YOU'RE A [long string of swears]

Me: All right then. Your loss. *runs notpetya1.exe*

Computer: *bluescreens*

Them: WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT DID YOU DO I'M SORRY PLEASE GIVE MY FILES BACK

Me: It is too late for that now. The MBR is overwritten, and this PC is never starting up again.

Them: *slams keyboard* *fake chkdsk screen appears* HAHA!!! WINDOWS IS REPAIRING MY DISK! I'LL GET MY FILES BACK!!!

Computer: *displays seizure-inducing skull*

He screamed like a little girl and flinched. After recomposing himself, he swore a lot and yeeted his PC. 

 

And that is why people don't mess with me. 

I would’ve believed this story, but you said it happened recently and I doubt it did, it just sounds sorta fake, if it’s real I’m sorry

[ki8aras]

trying to explain my cpu bottleneck to a friend was like trying to teach rocket science to a 5 year old

[cluelessgenius]

i often get asked to do weird semi - to full on illegal stuff when people find out im a software developer. like hacking everything and reprogramming stuff to do other things and i have to admit that i like how much power they assume i have and so i never say that i cant do it but rather that i wont. most times for ethical reasons or risk involved or something. im not activly running around telling people im some sort of evil master mind but if they assume im hacker-man then i mostly dont correct them.

[Bitter]

At the other end of the spectrum, my mother texted me that her Dell was flashing the battery/charging light. 4 red 1 white, and would not charge past 68%, she thought it was a bad battery but was just double checking with me. I sent her an amazon link to a battery and a link to an ifixit page, a couple days later she texted me that the new battery was in and charging at 88% already with normal status lights. Granted it's a slide out battery with little locking tabs, but it goes to show how far some common sense can get you still.

[CarlBar]

10 minutes ago, Schnoz said:

I once knew a guy who thought battery degradation was a hoax.

 

Every time I tried to explain to him the science of batteries and why his laptop needed a replacement (it was one of those chonk laptops that don't require the chassis to be opened for battery replacement), he would say it's just driver-related and the battery driver was doing it to make you pay for a new battery. He didn't know how to mess with the Windows Registry, so he purchased and re-installed a new Windows license.

 

He unplugged his laptop, it lasted for 15 seconds, then instantly died. What a genius.

 

Trust me the first time you see an argument about vaccination your faith in the average ability of the human race to understand even basic science will take a serious hit.

[Nebari]

Last week...

 

"Holy cow... I have no idea what your computer's trying to do but the reason why Program X is taking forever is because your hard drive is completely thrashing about."
"What does that mean?"

<Start to explain thrashing>

<Notice user's eye are glazing>

"Ahh... forget that. Think of it this way... your problem is like you've walked into the DMV for a new license and all the agents are running around screaming while throwing paper into the air."

"Oh, that makes sense!"

[CarlBar]

48 minutes ago, Nebari said:

Last week...

 

"Holy cow... I have no idea what your computer's trying to do but the reason why Program X is taking forever is because your hard drive is completely thrashing about."
"What does that mean?"

<Start to explain thrashing>

<Notice user's eye are glazing>

"Ahh... forget that. Think of it this way... your problem is like you've walked into the DMV for a new license and all the agents are running around screaming while throwing paper into the air."

"Oh, that makes sense!"

 

Oh wow, thats just brilliant. What was the cause anyway, spyware?

[Nebari]

Background sync of two massive OST files while having both proxy access AND the proxy account added as a second account in Outlook.

 

In short... I HATE EXCHANGE.

[Bitter]

1 hour ago, Nebari said:

Background sync of two massive OST files while having both proxy access AND the proxy account added as a second account in Outlook.

 

In short... I HATE EXCHANGE.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Email_storm

• On 14 October 1997, a Microsoft employee noticed that they were on the as-yet unknown email distribution list "Bedlam DL3" and emailed the list asking to be removed. This list contained approximately a quarter of the company's employees, 13,000 email addresses. Other users replied to the list with similar requests and still others responded with pleas to stop replying to the list. A Microsoft employee estimates that 15 million emails were sent, using 195 GB of traffic

[Koeshi]

12 hours ago, Nebari said:

In short... I HATE EXCHANGE.

Don't put all the blame on Exchange, its not its fault that Outlook is also a horrendous creaking tower waiting for a breeze to blow it over.

[CarlBar]

22 hours ago, Nebari said:

Background sync of two massive OST files while having both proxy access AND the proxy account added as a second account in Outlook.

 

In short... I HATE EXCHANGE.

 

I hope that made sense to someone because it went right over my head, much like your explanation of drive thrashing to your friend, (networks, web and anything to do with either are huge holes in my knowledge base alas).

[Nebari]

19 minutes ago, CarlBar said:

 

I hope that made sense to someone because it went right over my head, much like your explanation of drive thrashing to your friend, (networks, web and anything to do with either are huge holes in my knowledge base alas).

 

So imagine you've walked into a DMV...

 

In O365, User 1 is configured to have proxy permissions to User 2's account on User 1's login (think secretary and their boss). This allows User 1 to have email, calendar, etc access to User 2's account without needing the User 2's credentials.

 

So... we have Account 1 with proxy access into Account 2 but then User 1 manually adds Account 2 as a normal account in their Outlook client.

 

Which means that syncing 8 GB of data from User 2's account, and syncing it again on top of the 4 GB from User 1's account (12 GB)... Outlook is trying to pull down User 2's data TWICE....

 

Bad times and lots of paper being thrown around the room.

[CarlBar]

1 hour ago, Nebari said:

 

So imagine you've walked into a DMV...

 

In O365, User 1 is configured to have proxy permissions to User 2's account on User 1's login (think secretary and their boss). This allows User 1 to have email, calendar, etc access to User 2's account without needing the User 2's credentials.

 

So... we have Account 1 with proxy access into Account 2 but then User 1 manually adds Account 2 as a normal account in their Outlook client.

 

Which means that syncing 8 GB of data from User 2's account, and syncing it again on top of the 4 GB from User 1's account (12 GB)... Outlook is trying to pull down User 2's data TWICE....

 

Bad times and lots of paper being thrown around the room.

 

That made sense. Owowowowowow. Also the fact that it has to pull all the data immediately is downright dumb.

[noobofepicness66]

On 1/17/2013 at 8:17 AM, rainbrodash666 said:

so this one time I was hanging out with my friend who is the manager at a tech shop by where I live and a girl comes in and buys a 2tb hard drive. we let her know that we install hard drives for $1 (the cost of the sata cable we use) and she says "just because I am a woman does not mean I cant work on computers" and leaves in a huff. two days later she comes back in saying that the HDD is not working so we take the computer in to look at it, we open it and the HDD is nowhere to be seen, so we ask her where it is. and it turns out that she scanned it and put the scanned image on her desktop to install the drive. and to top that off she threw away the drive she paid almost $200 for and she wanted us to give her a new one.

 

 

 

EDIT: feel free to quote this comment, I like seeing peoples reactions even though the comment is 2+ years old.

........