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6 minutes ago, DeezNoNos said:

nah go ahead anyway*

as in bring us back to the topic for a bit

Ah, I see. Very well then. 

 

I finally just let go and spilled everything to my mom, about being transgender and to a lesser extent, pansexual. She was totally cool with it and is gonna help me out, all of my family was totally cool with it too and I'm starting the the process of my transition officially tomorrow. These events having transpired it were like years worth of built up anxiety and other bullshit just slid right off my back. I should have done it way, way sooner. But in the end, I'm super happy.


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Just now, Avericious said:

Ah, I see. Very well then. 

 

I finally just let go and spilled everything to my mom, about being transgender and to a lesser extent, pansexual. She was totally cool with it and is gonna help me out, all of my family was totally cool with it too and I'm starting my the process of my transition officially tomorrow. These events having transpired it were like years worth of built up anxiety and other bullshit just slid right off my back. I should have done it way, way sooner. But in the end, I'm super happy.

Luck you, i kind of did the same thing but only told my mom. Well turns out, she wasnt too happy. Like she wasnt made. she just did not belive it. And her reaction of refering me a girl was also kind of a bit mocking. So i stop mentioning it and she kinda forgot. And it turns out, the view of my family and Islam towards people who transition is more fucked up than i thought. Like we are just supposed to fight the feeling and ignore. Turns out i am actually quite good at that lol. Well i do that because it will make shit REALLY werid in my whole family and honestly, i dont really need to transition. I guess my case is not as bad as some peoples.

 

 

Am watching Mr.Robot, the guys voice is still in my head and as i type this my brain is repeating in his voice. So all this anit as morbid as it seems, just making it to be like that LOL.


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4 minutes ago, Avericious said:

Ah, I see. Very well then. 

 

I finally just let go and spilled everything to my mom, about being transgender and to a lesser extent, pansexual. She was totally cool with it and is gonna help me out, all of my family was totally cool with it too and I'm starting the the process of my transition officially tomorrow. These events having transpired it were like years worth of built up anxiety and other bullshit just slid right off my back. I should have done it way, way sooner. But in the end, I'm super happy.

Woo! Congrats! I do want to come out to my parents, but with personal situations, I don't think now is a good time...

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Just now, DeezNoNos said:

Luck you, i kind of did the same thing but only told my mom. Well turns out, she wasnt too happy. Like she wasnt made. she just did not belive it. And her reaction of refering me a girl was also kind of a bit mocking. So i stop mentioning it and she kinda forgot. And it turns out, the view of my family and Islam towards people who transition is more fucked up than i thought. Like we are just supposed to fight the feeling and ignore. Turns out i am actually quite good at that lol. Well i do that because it will make shit REALLY werid in my whole family and honestly, i dont really need to transition. I guess my case is not as bad as some peoples.

Damn, crappy situation. But as long as you don't have any extreme dysphoria and can live fine, I suppose you could put it off. I still say that it's your life and you deserve to be able to do what makes you happy. Do you live with your parents? If so whenever you get a place of your own and get a little space from it all you should explore options then. If you are already by yourself and feel like this then I guess that's that. I wish you a happy life. But if you ever start getting really down about the issue in the future, I recommend at least considering saying screw it to ignorance and go for it.

10 minutes ago, ServerGuy said:

I do want to come out to my parents, but with personal situations, I don't think now is a good time...

I know how you feel. So take it at your own pace. But I think you'd be surprised how amicably things can go down when the whole issue is suddenly about a family member rather than some other people out there in the world. And with some patient explanation, most can be made to understand. But I don't know your particular situation, so that's just some general encouragement. If you don't feel it reasonable to bring it up at this point, that is of course up to you.


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Just now, Avericious said:

I know how you feel. So take it at your own pace. But I think you'd be surprised how amicably things can go down when the whole issue is suddenly about a family member rather than some other people out there in the world. And with some patient explanation, most can be made to understand. But I don't know your particular situation, so that's just some general encouragement. If you don't feel it reasonable to bring it up at this point, that is of course up to you.

The main issue is not related to views regarding LGBT stuff (although a few years ago, it did seem that way with parents essentially flipping between supporting wholeheartedly and grudgingly, and the second view is one which I think my conservative Christian grandmother will take) and is actually something completely unrelated, but I'm not really able to talk about it :/

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Just now, ServerGuy said:

and is actually something completely unrelated, but I'm not really able to talk about it

That's ok. I will of course, not inquire about it. But I hope it resolves for you.


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Posted · Original PosterOP

guys i got this, if this thread is off tpic and someone goes off topic from offf topic then that means we are always on topic!

Thats+the+joke+genious+_a296846a82dd7efbb261f9accd3bf50a.png

 


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7 minutes ago, Avericious said:

Ah, I see. Very well then. 

 

I finally just let go and spilled everything to my mom, about being transgender and to a lesser extent, pansexual. She was totally cool with it and is gonna help me out, all of my family was totally cool with it too and I'm starting my the process of my transition officially tomorrow. These events having transpired it were like years worth of built up anxiety and other bullshit just slid right off my back. I should have done it way, way sooner. But in the end, I'm super happy.

congrats :D 

honestly ... everyone who comes out and is successful at it .... wish they did it earlier ... like me ... but i was not fully successful at it :/ 

i talked to my sister about it (she helps with my depression ... kinda) and she talked to mom about it and then mom came to talk to me... like my sister told my mom that i want to be a girl and stuff ... then she came to talk to me about it and i dont think she fully understood ... since its really difficult to explain how it feels to a person that doesnt even understand anxiety ... so most of the time she said how nice of person as a guy i was .... and she thinks that will change .... and most likely will not by too much ... i hope :D ... but she ended the conversation with something like i will try to support you as much as needed ... dont tell dad and try to find a doctor that can help with people like you (why dont tell dad? cause i dont think he will take it lightly .... )

so thats good and i actually wish i talked to her earlier than the age of 17 nearly 18 -_- 

 


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1 minute ago, Strando123 said:

guys i got this, if this thread is off tpic and someone goes off topic from offf topic then that means we are always on topic!

 

I think what you're looking for is this:

Spoiler

mind-blown.gif

 

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21 minutes ago, Avericious said:

Damn, crappy situation. But as long as you don't have any extreme dysphoria and can live fine, I suppose you could put it off. I still say that it's your life and you deserve to be able to do what makes you happy. Do you live with your parents? If so whenever you get a place of your own and get a little space from it all you should explore options then. If you are already by yourself and feel like this then I guess that's that. I wish you a happy life. But if you ever start getting really down about the issue in the future, I recommend at least considering saying screw it to ignorance and go for it.

I will with my parents yeah, but going to university next year. I am actually excited. I will be able to fully explore my LGBT side. In Pakistan all you find is conservative people. Not a very good place for LGBT people. But its fine, the country is good on almost ever other aspect.  


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Just now, Strando123 said:

guys i got this, if this thread is off tpic and someone goes off topic from offf topic then that means we are always on topic!

Flawless logic.

9043143_Woman_making_an_ok_sign_with_her

2 minutes ago, Mister2010 said:

i dont think she fully understood ... since its really difficult to explain how it feels to a person that doesnt even understand anxiety

Indeed.

3 minutes ago, Mister2010 said:

so most of the time she said how nice of person as a guy i was .... and she thinks that will change .... and most likely will not by too much ... i hope

Apparently that is a common fear for some parents. But of course you won't change. You are the person that you are, with the interests and preferences you have. They're a result of a life lived and having a new pronoun and physical changes means little to how you have already developed. Changes may come in the future, but so does it for everyone equally.

 

Some parents just need some reassurance of these things. So if you haven't already, you should.

Just now, DeezNoNos said:

but going to university next year. I am actually excited. I will be able to fully explore my LGBT side.

That's good.

Just now, DeezNoNos said:

But its fine, the country is good on almost ever other aspect.

I've no doubt.


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6 hours ago, DeezNoNos said:

I am stuck on shit PTCL 4mb down 1 mb up. google PTCL, you will get to know it is the worst and the fastest isp(copper) in pakistan. we pakistanis do have fiber, but only in the rich brat area(that is not mine :( )

Well my current ISP only has like one or two blocks in Minneapolis with fibre, they were advertising fibre internet for a little while but I think they kinda shut up when they weren't really building out their fibre network. Thing is, is that to get those faster speeds they charge so much more money. I guess 12mbps down/7 up being affordable is their way of not having data caps.


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Quote

Apparently that is a common fear for some parents. But of course you won't change. You are the person that you are, with the interests and preferences you have. They're a result of a life lived and having a new pronoun and physical changes means little to how you have already developed. Changes may come in the future, but so does it for everyone equally.

 

Some parents just need some reassurance of these things. So if you haven't already, you should.

i mainly explained that its your body being wrong to your brain  but since swapping bodies is not possible as far as i know .... sadly :/ .... transitioning is the only thing 

 

so the next thing for her is that she is worried about her doing something wrong before i was born ... you know the pregnant part :/ 

i think she understood that there is nothing she did wrong .... cant tell 


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3 minutes ago, Mister2010 said:

so the next thing for her is that she is worried about her doing something wrong before i was born ... you know the pregnant part

Also a common fear. But more preposterous. As if being different means that something must have gone wrong.

5 minutes ago, Mister2010 said:

i think she understood that there is nothing she did wrong .... cant tell 

Hopefully.


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I don’t want to be an outcast; I don’t like that way of life at all. I want to love all kinds of people, and be happy and healthy with them in forming friendships and relationships. I want to have a family someday too, and I want to grow old and die happy, knowing I stood on the high road and held confidence in that.

 

I don’t know if I can be that bubbly, innocent person that’s always smiling honestly with such a burden on my back.


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The only horror is that horror is no longer possible.

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26 minutes ago, Mister2010 said:

so the next thing for her is that she is worried about her doing something wrong before i was born ... you know the pregnant part :/

I often wonder why I am the way I am, in regards to the above. I don’t know if it’s by nature or by nurture… and I don’t know if I want to know. :/


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16 minutes ago, Avericious said:

Also a common fear. But more preposterous. As if being different means that something must have gone wrong.

Hopefully.

a good think she understood ... that i wont feel comfortable like this at school ... so i may or may not do the last 2 years of high school (2 since i failed this year cause of my anxiety, depression and gender dysphoria ... yaaay :/ ) in a long distance school thing ... hard to translate but i hope you get the point xD 

but yeah ... idk if that will actually fully happen yet ... since that aint free and shit :/ but would be good ... sitting at home watching educational videos provided by the school and doing tests at home ... or just sitting at home and doing what i want and say that it was homework? :P 

so yeah ...i may find a job and combine the 2 things once i turn 18 ... and i still need to find a doctor to help me :/ 


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Just now, Mister2010 said:

a good think she understood ... that i wont feel comfortable like this at school ... so i may or may not do the last 2 years of high school (2 since i failed this year cause of my anxiety, depression and gender dysphoria ... yaaay :/ ) in a long distance school thing ... hard to translate but i hope you get the point xD 

but yeah ... idk if that will actually fully happen yet ... since that aint free and shit :/ but would be good ... sitting at home watching educational videos provided by the school and doing tests at home ... or just sitting at home and doing what i want and say that it was homework? :P 

so yeah ...i may find a job and combine the 2 things once i turn 18 ... and i still need to find a doctor to help me :/ 

When I was in love, I promised I’d take her to the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill Medical Research Triangle here in NC… and I would spend everything I had to make her body into something she could be proud of.


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4 minutes ago, AlexTheRose said:

 

~snip~

 

It’s probably not as bad internally as being trans, but it’s always there, lurking in the background of my thoughts. Socially it’s much worse.

 

I don’t want to be an outcast; I don’t like that way of life at all. I want to love all kinds of people, and be happy and healthy with them in forming friendships and relationships. I want to have a family someday too, and I want to grow old and die happy, knowing I stood on the high road and held confidence in that.

 

I don’t know if I can be that bubbly, innocent person that’s always smiling honestly with such a burden on my back.

i often feel similar...

4 minutes ago, AlexTheRose said:

I often wonder why I am the way I am, in regards to the above. I don’t know if it’s by nature or by nurture… and I don’t know if I want to know. :/

and this .... 


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7 hours ago, DeezNoNos said:

I am (Canada)

I'm in the wealthy area and people pay $100+ for 30/5 DSL

:) I pay $100 for 100/10 (200/10 from speed test)

6 hours ago, Strando123 said:

Oh piss off with your complaint about slow internet!

Screenshot_20160808-124717.png

(Before you say "upgrade your internet, cmon bro" this is the best internet we can have here)

That's my 3G speed! 

4 hours ago, TheRandomness said:

Or just mix soft ramen with 1-2 eggs (depending on how much) and fry it until crispyish to make a ramen burger with whatever the fuck you want between the 'buns' :P

 

You remind me of the situation between me (with 10MiB/sec down with Ethernet) and my friend who has 120~ MiB/sec down WIRELESS WTF.

I get ~150 through Ethernet and ~200 through AC wifi with the supplied Rogers router.. Yeah the default one. 

33 minutes ago, wcreek said:

Well my current ISP only has like one or two blocks in Minneapolis with fibre, they were advertising fibre internet for a little while but I think they kinda shut up when they weren't really building out their fibre network. Thing is, is that to get those faster speeds they charge so much more money. I guess 12mbps down/7 up being affordable is their way of not having data caps.

Bell advertises with "Fibe" but it's not fiber it's dsl. 

7 minutes ago, AlexTheRose said:

I wish… I wish I could talk more about my demons, like you guys do. But it’s not the same, it’s a deviance that is still being oppressed and subdued by society for what seems to me to be the same irrational, hateful lines of reasoning used to oppress gays and trans people.

 

I can’t think for a minute what would be wrong with me for having the preferences that I do. I keep telling myself I didn’t choose to like it, and as true as that may be it makes me feel terribly alone. Everyone would want to shun me and treat me like some criminal, even though I haven’t done anything of the sort…

 

I just wonder what my potential wife/husband would think if (s)he knew. It was always a sad little fantasy that (s)he’d accept me, and how much of a relief that would be, and a fear that even if (s)he told me she did that I’d always be second-guessing whether (s)he really accepted my preferences or not…

 

It’s probably not as bad internally as being trans, but it’s always there, lurking in the background of my thoughts. Socially it’s much worse.

 

I don’t want to be an outcast; I don’t like that way of life at all. I want to love all kinds of people, and be happy and healthy with them in forming friendships and relationships. I want to have a family someday too, and I want to grow old and die happy, knowing I stood on the high road and held confidence in that.

 

I don’t know if I can be that bubbly, innocent person that’s always smiling honestly with such a burden on my back.

Fake personality always works. 

:) that's why everyone irl thinks I'm happy as fuck. 


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Just now, themctipers said:

Fake personality always works. 

:) that's why everyone irl thinks I'm happy as fuck. 

I don’t ever want to be fake. I want to be real, and I want my friends and lovers to understand that.


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The only horror is that horror is no longer possible.

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Posted · Original PosterOP

Energy drink addictuon sucks....

IMG_20160808_185813.jpg

Chugged this, now i am dizzy, chest pain, col sweating and i just vomited. (Before you ask, yes that mtn dew bottle is used for cable management, there is water in the Button of it to weigh it doen and then i have fed my hdmi cable through it)


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1 minute ago, Strando123 said:

Energy drink addictuon sucks....

IMG_20160808_185813.jpg

Chugged this, now i am dizzy, chest pain, col sweating and i just vomited. (Before you ask, yes that mtn dew bottle is used for cable management, there is water in the Button of it to weigh it doen and then i have fed my hdmi cable through it)

And then you have me..

*imagine a picture of coke*

(I see that mtn dew in the background)


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138 is a good number.

 

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5 minutes ago, AlexTheRose said:

 

I think I may have an idea about what you could be referring to and why you are reluctant to talk about it. Though I may be wrong and it'd be impolite to assume. In any case preferences are the way they are, regardless of what it is and that's entirely ok. I'll emphasize regardless here. Even if say hypothetically it were illegal to act upon. If no action has been taken and awareness is there, there is nothing wrong with having any preference under the sun.


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4 minutes ago, themctipers said:

Fake personality always works. 

:) that's why everyone irl thinks I'm happy as fuck. 

eventually you will get tired of that.... seriously .... 

3 minutes ago, AlexTheRose said:

I don’t ever want to be fake. I want to be real, and I want my friends and lovers to understand that.

i hate being the fake happy guy .... a lot of people ... if they actually pay enough attention to me will tell that im not happy ont he inside 

i just want to be the true happy girl that i have always wanted to be .... and not have to deal with bullshit all the time ....

but thats enough of my negativity for today .... 


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