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deadbc77

Twas the Night Before Tom's Christmas

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Posted (edited) · Original PosterOP

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through Tom’s House,
Not a fan blade was whirring, nor a left-handed mouse.
The desktops were hung by some Windows 8 fare,
In hopes that Steve Ballmer was no longer there.

The fanboys were tucked, all snug in their beds,
While visions of bent iPhones danced in their heads.
And Samsung quite smug with its latest rendition:
The Galaxy gingerbread-scented Edition.

Then came the sound of a bad hard disk platter;
I went to call Seagate, just what was the matter?
On hold for two hours 'fore explaining the crash,
Tech support in Mumbai said I should have used flash.

Then out on the lawn I saw such a strange sight;
Almost sharper than 4k 'gainst snow’s blinding white.
When what on my Oculus Rift did appear,
A red Tesla S, with Nvidia's gear.

Sporting skills of a gamer, steering reckless and quick,
I knew that the driver was jolly St. Nick,
More rapid than Broadwells, his coursers they came
Processing threads as he called them by name.

“Now, Intel! Nvidia!
Now ARM, MSI!
On, Gigabyte! On, Asus!
On Raspberry Pi!
AMD’s Captain Jack!”
And I then heard him call,
“Now overclock! Overvolt!
No P-states at all!”

As GeForces blazed lanes of PCIe,
I was fearful they would exceed max TDP.
With each snap of the cord, the faster he flew,
In a race he’d beat WiGig, and Thunderbolt 2,

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
Some fans kick on hard, and a water-cooled loop,
Devil's Canyon engaged, and as I turned around,
Down the chimney a robot St. Nick did abound.

Built from a hodgepodge of spare parts and components,
He stared as he flashed his BIOS for a moment,
He was made of case panels from NZXT,
His head an ASRock board with a red LED.

His eyes—how they burned! His visage, so scary!
His cheeks cooling hoses, his nose MX Cherry.
With no mouth or jaws, just a speaker and grill
Blasting dial-up sounds, so uncomfortably shrill!
His PSUs flew past the kilowatt peak,
The smoke belching off of his head like a wreath.
The SSD RAID 0 right in his big belly,
Stored every Christmas song by Andrea Bocelli.

He was chunky and sharp, a right nasty old elf,
And I dropped my controller, in spite of myself.
With a spin of his head, he gave me a wink.
"How much did it cost, that display with G-sync?”

Then his fans all went silent, he went straight to work,
And filled up his sack with my stuff (what a jerk!)
He flexed pixel shaders, and thumbing his nose,
He accused me of hacks. Up the chimney he rose!

‘Midst confusion and terror, I whipped off my Rift,
And eyed starry skies and an empty snowdrift.
In the darkness I sighed . . . all a cheap VR trick!
No evil and cruel PC parts-built Saint Nick.  

I slipped back inside, it was time for some gaming,
Took my Razer BlackWidow and prepared for n00b shaming.
With joy I proclaimed, blasting villains on sight,
“Happy holidays to all, and to Tom’s a good night!”

Just thought i share this poem...all credit to Tom's Hardware

http://www.tomshardware.com/news/toms-hardware-holiday-2014-poem,28263.html

Edited by prolemur
fixed for night theme viewing

CM Storm Trooper| Asua Maximum VII Formula| 4770k H100i|Kingston Beast 32GB|Samsung Evo 250GB SSD|Seagate 3TB|EVGA Kingpin Edition 780 Ti(SLI)|Sound Blaster Z|Corsair 1200i

Samsung U28D590D | Corsair K70 | Razer Naga Hex | Kingston Hyper X Gaming Headset

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night theme users cannot read, plz fix


My Rig  

 
PCPartPicker part list: http://ca.pcpartpicker.com/p/kGNksY

 

CPU: Intel Core i7-4770 3.4GHz Quad-Core Processor  ($379.00 @ shopRBC) 

CPU Cooler: RAIJINTEK THEMIS 65.7 CFM Sleeve Bearing CPU Cooler  ($34.99 @ NCIX) 

Motherboard: MSI CSM-H87M-G43 Micro ATX LGA1150 Motherboard  ($78.83 @ DirectCanada) 

Memory: Kingston HyperX 16GB (4 x 4GB) DDR3-1600 Memory  ($139.99 @ Memory Express) 

Storage: Kingston Fury 120GB 2.5" Solid State Drive  ($71.34 @ DirectCanada) 

Storage: Seagate Barracuda 2TB 3.5" 7200RPM Internal Hard Drive  ($92.95 @ Vuugo) 

Video Card: Gigabyte Radeon R9 280X 3GB Video Card  ($298.98 @ Newegg Canada) 

Case: Fractal Design Define R4 w/Window (Black Pearl) ATX Mid Tower Case  ($125.98 @ Newegg Canada) 

Power Supply: Corsair CX 600W 80+ Bronze Certified Semi-Modular ATX Power Supply  ($66.99 @ NCIX) 

Operating System: Microsoft Windows 8.1 - 64-bit (OEM) (64-bit)  ($116.00 @ shopRBC) 

Case Fan: Cougar Turbine 120 (4-Pack) 60.4 CFM 120mm  Fans  ($23.99 @ NCIX) 

Monitor: HP 22xi 60Hz 21.5" Monitor  ($187.11 @ Amazon Canada) 

Monitor: HP 22xi 60Hz 21.5" Monitor  ($187.11 @ Amazon Canada) 

Keyboard: Logitech G710 Wired Gaming Keyboard  ($114.99 @ NCIX) 

Mouse: Razer DeathAdder 2013 Wired Optical Mouse  ($76.99 @ Amazon Canada) 

Headphones: Kingston HyperX Cloud Pro Headset  ($78.98 @ DirectCanada) 

Total: $2074.22

Prices include shipping, taxes, and discounts when availableGenerated by PCPartPicker 2015-04-10 15:33 EDT-0400Build log http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/303263-the-dell-from-hell/#entry4121100 

Phone Compassion Spreadsheet https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1EN6s426gyxqPloIqT4wQ7Y7yovkkQy_5B3djVN-N-R8/edit#gid=0


Gta V Pc Online Crew http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/344773-unofficial-linus-tech-tips-gta-v-crew-pc/

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This is not tech news. This should be in off topic.

 

I don't know how you thought this was tech news in the first place. 

 

Exactly what I was thinking...


Everytime I hit my funny bone unexpectedly it's like my own personal Pearl Harbour.


Don't call it a grave, it's the future you chose.


Project JAPC Build Log

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I'm not changing my theme just so I can read this.

 

No. No. No.


| CPU: Intel i7 4790K @4.4Ghz  | GPU: Gigabyte GTX 970 G1 Gaming  | CPU COOLING: FRACTAL DESIGN S36 | MOBO: ASUS ROG Maximus Vii HERO | RAM: 16GB G.Skill Ripjaws X @1600MHz  | CASE: Phanteks Enthoo Pro Full Tower | PSU: EVGA SuperNova 850 G2 850W Fully Modular | HDD: 2TB Seagate Barracuda | SSD: 256GB Crucial MX100 | DISPLAY: Dell U2414H | HEADSET: Corsair H2100 Dolby 7.1 Surround |

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night theme users cannot read, plz fix

Interpreted that in a different way xD 


====>The car thread<====>Dark Souls thread<====>Placeholder<====
"Life is like a raging river, Its gonna get rough downstream. And people's gonna piss in it" 

"Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?"

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