I'm an alcoholic [Intel $5,000 Extreme Tech Upgrade - Anthony]

[Carathas]

Why am I making this post?

So I wanted to make a post here after Anthony discussed his issue with weightloss issue and quite honestly, it affected me! After watching the latest video and having Anthony talk so openly about his weight issues, it gave me a sudden glimps of clarity. I'm an alcoholic, and I don't mean that in the sense of "I need a drink to get me through the day" but I'm happy to sit there and drink 8 pints of beer and then jump on to 4 or 5 double whiskeys until I can't remember going to bed. On top of that, I am a smoker! Not in the sense of smoking 20 marlboro a day, because I was far to good for that. I smoked 5 half corona cigars a day, because smoking cigars clearly meant that I was better than cigarette smokers, right? Wrong. I'm an idiot. I spend on average CAD$150 a week on my terrible habits.

 

What Is My Endgoal?

So I want to quit everything. I'm not an idiot and I understand that this could be very bad for me, alcoholics suffer horrendous withdrawal sympthoms and I expect that I will suffer a lot of these issues. Last time I had a drink was maybe 20 minutes for the latest LTT video came out and I'm already craving a drink. I would kill a small child for a quadruple whiskey right now but it's not going to happen.

 

What do I want?

Honestly nothing, I'm here to support Anthony, but if you guys have had to deal with this stuff and have tips, then feel free to send them my way. I'm done with this shitty life. I'm done with underperforming and waking up, not knowing how I got to bed or why I feel so terrible each morning. I will try my best to update this thread for every day that I stay clean, I really hope that someone else who is struggling will be able to see this and come to me.

[LienusLateTips]

My grandpa quit after he was diagnosed of lung cancer. Unfortunately, it was too late. He died 8 weeks later.

 

He once told my father "don't smoke. think of your wife. think of your (future at the time) children". 

 

Maybe you can also use these words to support yourself. There's still a long life for you ahead.

 

I'm also sorry if this didn't really help.

[SupaKomputa]

Cigar is unfiltered, the amount of toxin you inhaled vs 20 marlboro a day maybe multiplies.

I also a pack a day smoker, really want to quit, but that thing give me focus.

Tried vaping, but meeh, doesn't feel like the real thing.

[gloop]

10 minutes ago, MrDarillion said:

So I want to quit everything. I'm not an idiot and I understand that this could be very bad for me, alcoholics suffer horrendous withdrawal sympthoms and I expect that I will suffer a lot of these issues. Last time I had a drink was maybe 20 minutes for the latest LTT video came out and I'm already craving a drink. I would kill a small child for a quadruple whiskey right now but it's not going to happen.

I'd suggest taking it in small steps. Let's say you have 10 drinks a day, for example. Cut it down to nine. And then eight. And then seven. And so on and so forth. You won't get hit with as harsh withdrawal symptoms as if you just went from ten to zero.

[Carathas]

2 minutes ago, LienusLateTips said:

My grandpa quit after he was diagnosed of lung cancer. Unfortunately, it was too late. He died 8 weeks later.

 

He once told my father "don't smoke. think of your wife. think of your (future at the time) children". 

 

Maybe you can also use these words to support yourself. There's still a long life for you ahead.

 

I'm also sorry if this didn't really help.

The fact that you even spent the time to reply is something I appreciate! And your grandpa is correct, I need to think about my future and the people who I love. Its selfish to remove myself for a quick puff of this or that.

[Carathas]

7 minutes ago, gloop said:

I'd suggest taking it in small steps. Let's say you have 10 drinks a day, for example. Cut it down to nine. And then eight. And then seven. And so on and so forth. You won't get hit with as harsh withdrawal symptoms as if you just went from ten to zero.

unfortunately I don't think that works for me, when I have one drink, I want more. Today, I had a couple of sips and saw Anthony talking about his issue with weightloss and poured my alcohol away. I don't think I'm a person who can do moderation, usually I will have a sip of alcohol, then keep drinking till I'm passed out. I won't let that happen anymore.

Usually I'm the person who has one beer then doesn't stop until i'm being carried out of the bar / pub. It's embarrassing to say the least.

[rapidkillerx]

don't have anything to add, but good luck

[Carathas]

9 minutes ago, SupaKomputa said:

Cigar is unfiltered, the amount of toxin you inhaled vs 20 marlboro a day maybe multiplies.

I also a pack a day smoker, really want to quit, but that thing give me focus.

Tried vaping, but meeh, doesn't feel like the real thing.

Totally agree, but to me, I wasn't an addict if i wasn't smoking cigarettes! and a lot of people around me treated me the same!

I vaped for a bit but found it hard to maintain.

[SupaKomputa]

funnily if i'm around my kids and wife i don't have the urge to smoke, only when working.

that can go on for days, without me ever think about it.

but once i get in front of the pc, the first thing to do is light one.

maybe you need some sort of distractions, a habit that drives you away from it.

[Carathas]

2 minutes ago, SupaKomputa said:

funnily if i'm around my kids and wife i don't have the urge to smoke, only when working.

that can go on for days, without me ever think about it.

but once i get in front of the pc, the first thing to do is light one.

maybe you need some sort of distractions, a habit that drives you away from it.

Are you working in tech? I have a huge desire to spark a smoke whenever I'm stuck on a job!

[Guest]

I used to drink like that. Beer in lap on the way home. 

 

Had a family and that went away because I had more expensive agendas to spend money on.

 

The only thing I used was intestinal fortitude. And it takes a lot. 

 

Good luck.

[Carathas]

Just now, ShrimpBrime said:

I used to drink like that. Beer in lap on the way home. 

 

Had a family and that went away because I had more expensive agendas to spend money on.

 

The only thing I used was intestinal fortitude. And it takes a lot. 

 

Good luck.

This speaks to me miles! I would have 3 or 4 7/8% beers on my train journey home. Looked like an absolute monster. How are you doing now?

[SupaKomputa]

1 minute ago, MrDarillion said:

Are you working in tech? I have a huge desire to spark a smoke whenever I'm stuck on a job!

Yes, especially if a server goes down, i need 2 packs for a day maybe.

[Carathas]

Just now, SupaKomputa said:

Yes, especially if a server goes down, i need 2 packs for a day maybe.

Yeeeeeeeeap. I'm working on a huge server migration now. Just wish I wasn't half drunk when I did it all, because I can't remember how we approached it

 

[Jtalk4456]

Spoiler

 

30 minutes ago, MrDarillion said:

I would kill a small child

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

 

First off, congrats on being smart enough to realize it's dumb. That's 90% of the challenge for most people

Second, Thanks for sharing your story and being willing to talk about it. People who are suffering from addiction need to hear from other people going through the same. Community and support is one of the biggest factors in getting through addiction. My wife went to school for sociology so through reading textbooks while she listened and took notes, I've absorbed a fair amount of it. Fortunately I've not been under an addiction before, so my support is limited to encouragement, unless you count watching 8 hrs of anime a day in college an addiction. But I'm happy to support you in any way I can. If you're going cold turkey though, I highly suggest talking to your Dr about it. they might have or refer you to someone that has techniques and tricks to help coping with the withdrawal. and different things might work for you or not. For me it's not just my health, being here for my family, etc. It's the economics. It's SOOOO expensive to enjoy alcohol or smoking. Even if I liked the taste, I simply can't afford drugs.

DM's are open if you need to talk about it. I'm also on Discord if you use that

[iBabySlapper]

I used to smoke a pack a day pretty easily when I was working in Japan, cigs are cheap there compared to the UK you see. Though then again I had a relatively stressful job and I wouldn't of survived otherwise. I don't drink much usually, but back then my mind would be creaking from the stress when I got to bed after work, and I'd have to down at least 8 shots of vodka to get a decent night.

 

I've quit smoking a couple times before for a variety of reasons, it's usually easier in my opinion to quit cold turkey.

For example when I got into a serious relationship, I decided to quit if I'm going to start a family (which didn't work out in the end, for better or for worse).

I think I didn't smoke for about 4 years during that time. When I finished the pack I was on, I just didn't buy a new one. It was pretty hard, vaping (even with a decent set-up) was weak as hell, so I chewed a lot of eucalyptus gum.

 

Though all this I'm typing might be a complete waste of your time, since I'm currently smoking again. I noticed I really liked smoking in general, and I'd rather die much earlier than I otherwise would. I smoke tubed Cigarettes that I make with a mix of hand rolling tabacco and pipe tabacco.

 

As for your alcoholism, I believe you can get replacement drugs that can wean you off alcohol. No personal experience with that though.

[Video Beagle]

I wish you the best of luck in making changes (I'm working on the weight thing, myself)...but also keep in mind, the world is fucked up right now...more so than usual....it's not the best of times to make big changes....which isn't to say not to try....and while certainly the world is a good excuse not to, don't beat yourself up if you backslide...it's a journey, not a destination.

[Guest]

16 minutes ago, MrDarillion said:

This speaks to me miles! I would have 3 or 4 7/8% beers on my train journey home. Looked like an absolute monster. How are you doing now?

Fine actually. Occasionally I have a drink with the wife and that's about it. 1 every couple of months or so.

 

It took a long time to quit. Said it for years. 

 

But feel good. I sleep like a rock and dont need it for that anymore. That takes some time. 

 

Not like weeks. Not days. A couple of years roughly. 

 

Ease away from it, cold Turkey is damn near impossible. But for some people the only way.

 

Be aware and stay aware was the mind set I needed. 

Aware of my actions even when buzzed.... that's a toughy.  Totally doable. 

 

Buy a 6 pack instead of 12. Controll the habit. Then one day, you just won't need it any more. 

 

Was totally non dependant by 35 years old. Heavy drinking since 21. Drank before 21 but couldn't buy it so..... you know. The old party days sometimes tough to shake off.

 

It's all self control. No different than anything else. 

 

Try brushing with your left hand. Throw yourself off once in a while. It helps you become more self aware.

 

But really, without writing a book, it's all on how well you can control yourself at certain times when needed and always aware of it.

 

My step father quit drinking after many more years than myself. Quit smoking too. Pushing 60, he goes to yoga classes to see some asses ( sry ladies, true story though) and that's his new thing. Working out and concentrating on something else. He did it by filling ALL of his spare time with hobbies. Growing maters and onions, guns, working out, he's always been into sports and so forth. He litterally filled his day and controlled his own actions with awareness. And a 12 pack a night was pretty regular lol. 

 

Intestinal Fortitude. 

And sorry for the book.

[Jtalk4456]

10 minutes ago, Video Beagle said:

I wish you the best of luck in making changes (I'm working on the weight thing, myself)...but also keep in mind, the world is fucked up right now...more so than usual....it's not the best of times to make big changes....which isn't to say not to try....and while certainly the world is a good excuse not to, don't beat yourself up if you backslide...it's a journey, not a destination.

i'm on the weight journey too, got about 75 to lose

good luck on yours

[startrek03]

It's been said before by others, but I wish you the best of luck, too. I don't suffer from any addictions as far as I am aware. However, I've seen what alcohol can do to people and that's something I wish nobody.

I know from myself that obtaining self motivation can be really tough. Probably you need some sort of goal to reach and a certain reward for reaching that goal. But with that you have to be careful not to cheat yourself. Idk, find something to look forward to (but not drinking again) and work towards that goal. And when you got to a certain point you might be able to stop drinking without setting a new goal.

[sub68]

34 minutes ago, Jtalk4456 said:

unless you count watching 8 hrs of anime a day in college an addiction.

no but my friends count as a addiction (or being addicted to d.va in OW)

BTW my anime watching is 2-4 hours on and off

[StDragon]

I recommend at least looking into AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). I've known a few people from friends to co-workers that have stated it changed their life. For one, completely; sobered up, got married, landed a very successful career in the petrochemical industry. For another, meh, he turned out ok, so so, but at least he's alive. So, that counts (and that's that that should matter in the end IMHO).

 

The thing about addiction is that it becomes your kryptonite. Stay away from it. Like a cosmic Black Hole, don't even tease getting near the event horizon or it will suck you in never to return. Avoid it. Don't look at it. Go the other way. Do that, and you will be on a path away from danger.

[Emily Young]

Seriously, I wish you the best of luck in this. I know it's not really about luck, but sometimes when it comes to willpower and just being able to keep yourself sane, conditions have to be just right for you to keep from breaking. I've slipped countless times, and the best advice I can give you is to not give into the temptation to demonize yourself if you end up doing the same, because if you hate yourself, chances are you're not going to be motivated to help yourself, either.

 

If you're quitting both vices cold turkey, then I would advise that you accept that you can and very likely will struggle with your vices, and accept that you may end up cracking and taking a drink or having a smoke. Avoid it, but don't beat yourself up for it; Accept it as a bump in the road and move on. If you imagine you're a dog on a leash, rushing ahead is only going to choke you. You may be able to handle that (some people can), or you may not. With that in mind, sometimes in order to move forward, we need to take a step backward to give ourselves a little room to breathe.

 

While it's okay and even expected that you'll slip here and there, that's not to say that it's okay to consistently relapse. If you aren't making progress over long periods of time, then you need to re-evaluate what you're doing and adjust the plan accordingly. That's part of what I'm doing with my VR gaming setup (and the KitchenAid mixer, and so on). Accountability also helps - Now I've got the whole internet watching me for progress after announcing that that's my intent.

 

It's really amazing to see that I've managed to motivate you to this point, and again, I really hope it works out for you. I'll keep working at it if you will.

[Letgomyleghoe]

2 hours ago, SupaKomputa said:

Cigar is unfiltered, the amount of toxin you inhaled vs 20 marlboro a day maybe multiplies.

I also a pack a day smoker, really want to quit, but that thing give me focus.

Tried vaping, but meeh, doesn't feel like the real thing.

Don’t inhale with cigars though, I used vaping to stop smoking for a while found some tobacco flavor pods that weren’t to far off, still didn’t hit like a cigarette but it was much better than flavored juice

[Discojedi]

1 hour ago, GabenJr said:

Seriously, I wish you the best of luck in this. I know it's not really about luck, but sometimes when it comes to willpower and just being able to keep yourself sane, conditions have to be just right for you to keep from breaking. I've slipped countless times, and the best advice I can give you is to not give into the temptation to demonize yourself if you end up doing the same, because if you hate yourself, chances are you're not going to be motivated to help yourself, either.

 

If you're quitting both vices cold turkey, then I would advise that you accept that you can and very likely will struggle with your vices, and accept that you may end up cracking and taking a drink or having a smoke. Avoid it, but don't beat yourself up for it; Accept it as a bump in the road and move on. If you imagine you're a dog on a leash, rushing ahead is only going to choke you. You may be able to handle that (some people can), or you may not. With that in mind, sometimes in order to move forward, we need to take a step backward to give ourselves a little room to breathe.

 

While it's okay and even expected that you'll slip here and there, that's not to say that it's okay to consistently relapse. If you aren't making progress over long periods of time, then you need to re-evaluate what you're doing and adjust the plan accordingly. That's part of what I'm doing with my VR gaming setup (and the KitchenAid mixer, and so on). Accountability also helps - Now I've got the whole internet watching me for progress after announcing that that's my intent.

 

It's really amazing to see that I've managed to motivate you to this point, and again, I really hope it works out for you. I'll keep working at it if you will.

Anthony long time watcher and I've been wishing I could help you with the very problem you talked about in the last video.  I used to be about 340 lbs and had very significant health problems that helped motivate my life to go in a different direction.  Since then I have resolved every health issue I had and am down to 170 lbs.  If you really want to get healthier and not fight the uphill battle I fought for years as well look into keto.  If you have heard negative things about it in the past I can promise you they are either false or exaggerated. Virtually any type of food I want I can make one small modification and now it is completely within the realm of what I can eat. I also do intermittent fasting not nearly as important as low carb changes but very effective as well.  If you would like to go into further details you could always message me and I would be happy to answer any questions. But in the sake of brevity check out Dr. Ken Berry's YouTube channel and watch the first few videos in his keto 101 series. It has truly changed my life and I know it could probably help you as well. This isn't me trying to poke fun.  This is me trying to help another person suffering from the lifelong problems I suffered with my entire life.