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Red jive

Present for gf

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Posted · Original PosterOP

Ok so my gf has a problem with loud events, stuff like football games, parties, ECT. She has a hard time with loud stuff and will slowly breakdown overtime and will start crying and she just gets into really bad shape. So my idea for one of her Christmas presents was to buy her a pair of concert earplugs (earaser's) and regular earplugs. I still need to get the regular earplugs but I'm even wondering if it's a good idea as a gift. I need some opinions on this, whether it's a good gift idea or not.

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I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed but uhh why does she attends such events if she doesn't like them?


I tend to reply with memes because I lack social skills and don't know how to express myself correctly.

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Her issues aren't likely with the sound level. Seems like she has an anxiety/panic issue in crowded areas if she starts to break down crying. 

 

Ear plugs aren't going to fix that.

 

 


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I would have a nice regular gift as back up if I were you, like flowers and hot chocolate etc to go with the earplugs. You know her better than me, so earplugs might be great, but you should give them with something else more conventional just in case. Make sure you explain why you got her earplugs and that you were trying to be considerate!


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4 minutes ago, Red jive said:

And this is why I needed opinions thank you

 

Put them in a ring box, get down on one knee and ask her, "Will you go to a concert with me?". Hell, buy some concert tickets to go along with it if you can. 

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Just now, Red jive said:

And this is why I needed opinions thank you

 

If you want to be a good dude, I'd suggest talking to her about her struggles in those situations and maybe let her know that she shouldn't be ashamed of it, ask what you can do to help or support (maybe nudge a little for her to talk to someone?).

 

As someone that has generalized anxiety disorder, blaming it on something like noise sounds like an easy way to explain it away when you don't feel comfortable admitting your problem to someone. I went on for years using these excuses with people until I finally sought help.


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2 hours ago, Red jive said:

Ok so my gf has a problem with loud events, stuff like football games, parties, ECT. She has a hard time with loud stuff and will slowly breakdown overtime and will start crying and she just gets into really bad shape. So my idea for one of her Christmas presents was to buy her a pair of concert earplugs (earaser's) and regular earplugs. I still need to get the regular earplugs but I'm even wondering if it's a good idea as a gift. I need some opinions on this, whether it's a good gift idea or not.

its a bad idea

you need to buy her jewellery !

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3 hours ago, Vitamanic said:

Her issues aren't likely with the sound level. Seems like she has an anxiety/panic issue in crowded areas if she starts to break down crying. 

 

Ear plugs aren't going to fix that.

 

 

Agreed.  Sometimes they slow it down a little.  Quiet low stimulus spaces without a lot of people or flashing lights help more.  Sometimes recovery is very fast.  The key to this one is while it can’t hurt to try, don’t expect them to necessarily help much or at all.  As a statement that you care and see the problem and are willing to help with it they may have value.  Presenting them along with concert tickets may go poorly though.


Life is like a bowl of chocolates: there are all these little crinkly paper cups everywhere.

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My first thought on reading the OP was  is your girlfriend autistic?


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18 minutes ago, Keith W said:

My first thought on reading the OP was  is your girlfriend autistic?

Why would those symptoms make you think of autism specifically?


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5 minutes ago, Vitamanic said:

Why would those symptoms make you think of autism?!

Probably because many autistic people and people with Asperger's syndrome have issues with noise, me included. I'm not aware of any of us beginning to cry about it, though, but if Keith there ain't one of us, he might not fully realize how those symptoms actually manifest in us and thus not understand that it doesn't really seem applicable here.


Hand, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody’s pocket.

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I personally don't deal with crowds of people. My wife knows this. So I don't tend to go to concerts, sporting events or even family gatherings. 

 

My suggestion is to play to what she enjoys. Sometimes it's the little things that mean the most. 


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39 minutes ago, Vitamanic said:

Why would those symptoms make you think of autism specifically?

Crowd and mass input issues sometimes cause this sort of reaction with autistic people.  There are a lot of other things that cause this sort of reaction too though.  If it’s autism there would be a lot of other stuff as well.


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@amdorintel

3 is for you stop acting like she wants it.

 

talk to her and find out what causes it. 


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