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Sharif

Christmas Dinner Invitation (Not tech)

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Posted · Original PosterOP

So I'll break it down, lived in a absolute monarch, muslim country till my teens and for the most part outside world was pretty much the internet and media. (Just to clarify, moved on from religion years ago, just kept to myself for the most part, because "insert first sentence" yes it sucked and people who found out straight up took pity) Fast forward, high school is over and I move on to a university here in Canada.

 

Not being choked by society and gov was a feeling I never felt before, felt nice and extremely confusing at the time. Got here sometime before last Christmas and couldn't help, but feel that warm cozy vibe going around (Probably also the fact that I was new, and the honeymoon period kicking in), thing is it's been almost an year, don't really know that many people, tried going along with my hive, it was easy and wasn't hard to make "Friends" was never good at it to be honest even back in highschool, but it instantly took me back to the place I detested for years. So, pretty much been doing the opposite instead and just avoiding hives the past year, now the issue I found initially with new people I met not from south asian countries after that, was that there is so much random cultural norms, societal norms that I just wasn't really aware of here, so I slowly picked up on them and really helped, even something small as going out for a drink with someone and the way conversations flow so easily and more importantly I feel comfortable.

 

Context aside, I met a lot of people, and somehow ended up getting close to the people I work with more than anything, the chef randomly asked me one day if I had any plans during christmas and what people did back home (I paused there itself in my head, as home the place I was born in, isn't really where I am from and the place I am from I have no clue for the most part, because I know so little about that place) told him people just goes on like it's just another day, and orders came in (Restaurant) and mehh it was just another small talk I thought, following day he invite me to his Christmas dinner at his place, and I absolutely said yes! I rather do that than go through instagram of other people enjoying their day, and I felt really happy in that moment, in a really heartwarming way.

 

All the context, was for a reason, what am I supposed to think of it, is it like him showing gratitude or have me feel a little taste of family (I won't be going back during the holiday times, more complications, parents will be moving permanently  around that time) what is a Christmas dinner like? Do people bring along gifts? Should I too? Is it all warm and cozy movies make it out to be haha?

 

Some insights would be really awesome ?


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9 minutes ago, Sharif said:

So I'll break it down, lived in a absolute monarch, muslim country till my teens and for the most part outside world was pretty much the internet and media. (Just to clarify, moved on from religion years ago, just kept to myself for the most part, because "insert first sentence" yes it sucked and people who found out straight up took pity) Fast forward, high school is over and I move on to a university here in Canada.

 

Not being choked by society and gov was a feeling I never felt before, felt nice and extremely confusing at the time. Got here sometime before last Christmas and couldn't help, but feel that warm cozy vibe going around (Probably also the fact that I was new, and the honeymoon period kicking in), thing is it's been almost an year, don't really know that many people, tried going along with my hive, it was easy and wasn't hard to make "Friends" was never good at it to be honest even back in highschool, but it instantly took me back to the place I detested for years. So, pretty much been doing the opposite instead and just avoiding hives the past year, now the issue I found initially with new people I met not from south asian countries after that, was that there is so much random cultural norms, societal norms that I just wasn't really aware of here, so I slowly picked up on them and really helped, even something small as going out for a drink with someone and the way conversations flow so easily and more importantly I feel comfortable.

 

Context aside, I met a lot of people, and somehow ended up getting close to the people I work with more than anything, the chef randomly asked me one day if I had any plans during christmas and what people did back home (I paused there itself in my head, as home the place I was born in, isn't really where I am from and the place I am from I have no clue for the most part, because I know so little about that place) told him people just goes on like it's just another day, and orders came in (Restaurant) and mehh it was just another small talk I thought, following day he invite me to his Christmas dinner at his place, and I absolutely said yes! I rather do that than go through instagram of other people enjoying their day, and I felt really happy in that moment, in a really heartwarming way.

 

All the context, was for a reason, what am I supposed to think of it, is it like him showing gratitude or have me feel a little taste of family (I won't be going back during the holiday times, more complications, parents will be moving permanently  around that time) what is a Christmas dinner like? Do people bring along gifts? Should I too? Is it all warm and cozy movies make it out to be haha?

 

Some insights would be really awesome ?

The holidays are a time where people tend to be more open to reach out, be generous, and show more good will to others. And it's pretty well known that nobody likes to be alone ever, let alone during times of the year that put a strong emphasis on family bonds, with the winter holidays being the biggest one.

 

Is it like him showing gratitude or have me feel a little taste of family? It could be that. Again, nobody likes to be alone, and that feeling of being alone is exacerbated during the holidays. It could also be him expressing how much he has grown to respect and trust you.

 

Do you need to bring gifts? No, not necessarily. If you feel compelled to bring something, maybe bring some sort of sweet you enjoy to share with them, or ask them if you can bring dessert or something. But, again, it's usually not a thing.

 

Is it all warm and cozy like in the movies? That depends, really. If it is with people you feel a genuine connection with, and you feel safe, it can make you feel warm and cozy. Kindness is a hell of a drug.

 

 


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It might be different in Canada, but here in the US (at least my part of the US), Christmas dinner is an excuse for another festive get-together. Family dinners are usually relaxed, people might have drinks or play games, and sometimes exchange gifts. Friendly dinners might also have drinks and games, and sometimes gift exchanges or secret Santas, and people might dress up with some Christmas attire. The food and treats will probably be more festive than usual. But it's otherwise pretty much just another party/hang-out with some sweet Christmas decorations and a comfy, cozy, festive mood. Everyone wishes each other a Merry Christmas, happy holidays, happy new year, and then continues with normal conversations.

 

It's perfectly acceptable to let him know that you're not used to the norm, and so you should ask him a few questions. Not everyone does Christmas gatherings the same. You should ask him about what to wear, what you should bring (either food, gifts, games, etc), and generally what's going on; ask about anything you're unsure of. If he says you shouldn't worry about bringing anything, maybe bring a food/treat you really like or a nice bottle of wine. At least in the US, if someone invites you to their house for an event and tells you that you don't need to bring anything, it's just a nice gesture to bring a treat along as a sign of gratitude.

 

And also, he's probably inviting you because he thinks you're cool. 

 

And what you see in the movies is spot on...Well except for the crazy squirrels in the Christmas trees, the crazy uncles who spend a month in your driveway, or the crazy neighbors who force you to put Frosty the Snowman on your house.


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It varies a great deal.  Different families have different traditions.  Some of them are extremely old, some aren’t.  There are commonalities which have been described. they vary from household to household.  You may need to ask the guy what to expect, what to bring, etc..
 


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27 minutes ago, Sharif said:

All the context, was for a reason, what am I supposed to think of it, is it like him showing gratitude or have me feel a little taste of family (I won't be going back during the holiday times, more complications, parents will be moving permanently  around that time) what is a Christmas dinner like? Do people bring along gifts? Should I too? Is it all warm and cozy movies make it out to be haha?

that was nice of them to invite you and Good for you for saying yes and getting out there to enjoy the holiday! Bringing gifts is not necessary, but you could if you wanted, I think its more common to bring some wine or a food item (or desert) for dinner. But don't worry too much about it! You could go without anything and noone will probably care. 

 


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Posted · Original PosterOP
9 hours ago, The1Dickens said:

The holidays are a time where people tend to be more open to reach out, be generous, and show more good will to others. And it's pretty well known that nobody likes to be alone ever, let alone during times of the year that put a strong emphasis on family bonds, with the winter holidays being the biggest one.

 

Is it like him showing gratitude or have me feel a little taste of family? It could be that. Again, nobody likes to be alone, and that feeling of being alone is exacerbated during the holidays. It could also be him expressing how much he has grown to respect and trust you.

 

Do you need to bring gifts? No, not necessarily. If you feel compelled to bring something, maybe bring some sort of sweet you enjoy to share with them, or ask them if you can bring dessert or something. But, again, it's usually not a thing.

 

Is it all warm and cozy like in the movies? That depends, really. If it is with people you feel a genuine connection with, and you feel safe, it can make you feel warm and cozy. Kindness is a hell of a drug.

 

 

 

9 hours ago, theninja35 said:

It might be different in Canada, but here in the US (at least my part of the US), Christmas dinner is an excuse for another festive get-together. Family dinners are usually relaxed, people might have drinks or play games, and sometimes exchange gifts. Friendly dinners might also have drinks and games, and sometimes gift exchanges or secret Santas, and people might dress up with some Christmas attire. The food and treats will probably be more festive than usual. But it's otherwise pretty much just another party/hang-out with some sweet Christmas decorations and a comfy, cozy, festive mood. Everyone wishes each other a Merry Christmas, happy holidays, happy new year, and then continues with normal conversations.

 

It's perfectly acceptable to let him know that you're not used to the norm, and so you should ask him a few questions. Not everyone does Christmas gatherings the same. You should ask him about what to wear, what you should bring (either food, gifts, games, etc), and generally what's going on; ask about anything you're unsure of. If he says you shouldn't worry about bringing anything, maybe bring a food/treat you really like or a nice bottle of wine. At least in the US, if someone invites you to their house for an event and tells you that you don't need to bring anything, it's just a nice gesture to bring a treat along as a sign of gratitude.

 

And also, he's probably inviting you because he thinks you're cool. 

 

And what you see in the movies is spot on...Well except for the crazy squirrels in the Christmas trees, the crazy uncles who spend a month in your driveway, or the crazy neighbors who force you to put Frosty the Snowman on your house.

 

9 hours ago, OlympicAssEater said:

If ya need someone to clean left over foods. Call me okay? I will come with a huge backpack and tons of plates.

 

 

I'll give you a heads up hahahaha

9 hours ago, Bombastinator said:

It varies a great deal.  Different families have different traditions.  Some of them are extremely old, some aren’t.  There are commonalities which have been described. they vary from household to household.  You may need to ask the guy what to expect, what to bring, etc..
 

 

9 hours ago, AntiTrust said:

that was nice of them to invite you and Good for you for saying yes and getting out there to enjoy the holiday! Bringing gifts is not necessary, but you could if you wanted, I think its more common to bring some wine or a food item (or desert) for dinner. But don't worry too much about it! You could go without anything and noone will probably care. 

 

 

 

 

Chef once told me to bring something from my home cuisine to work and have him try it out, never really got around to it, because I am pretty much busy with studies apart from work. I could just bring along wine, but for the most part I haven't had enough to even know what's good, so the perfect thing would be to make a dessert he probably never tried and I have no clue how to make, but exams should be over around that time and I should have plenty of time to cook, figure out and find ingredients. 

 

Thanks for everyone for their response! It helped give me a bit of an idea and I will ask him later on today directly. You guys helped me realise there is really no reason for me to pretend to know what's on the go.

 

Again thank you so much! 


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10 hours ago, Sharif said:

So I'll break it down, lived in a absolute monarch, muslim country till my teens and for the most part outside world was pretty much the internet and media. (Just to clarify, moved on from religion years ago, just kept to myself for the most part, because "insert first sentence" yes it sucked and people who found out straight up took pity) Fast forward, high school is over and I move on to a university here in Canada.

 

Not being choked by society and gov was a feeling I never felt before, felt nice and extremely confusing at the time. Got here sometime before last Christmas and couldn't help, but feel that warm cozy vibe going around (Probably also the fact that I was new, and the honeymoon period kicking in), thing is it's been almost an year, don't really know that many people, tried going along with my hive, it was easy and wasn't hard to make "Friends" was never good at it to be honest even back in highschool, but it instantly took me back to the place I detested for years. So, pretty much been doing the opposite instead and just avoiding hives the past year, now the issue I found initially with new people I met not from south asian countries after that, was that there is so much random cultural norms, societal norms that I just wasn't really aware of here, so I slowly picked up on them and really helped, even something small as going out for a drink with someone and the way conversations flow so easily and more importantly I feel comfortable.

 

Context aside, I met a lot of people, and somehow ended up getting close to the people I work with more than anything, the chef randomly asked me one day if I had any plans during christmas and what people did back home (I paused there itself in my head, as home the place I was born in, isn't really where I am from and the place I am from I have no clue for the most part, because I know so little about that place) told him people just goes on like it's just another day, and orders came in (Restaurant) and mehh it was just another small talk I thought, following day he invite me to his Christmas dinner at his place, and I absolutely said yes! I rather do that than go through instagram of other people enjoying their day, and I felt really happy in that moment, in a really heartwarming way.

 

All the context, was for a reason, what am I supposed to think of it, is it like him showing gratitude or have me feel a little taste of family (I won't be going back during the holiday times, more complications, parents will be moving permanently  around that time) what is a Christmas dinner like? Do people bring along gifts? Should I too? Is it all warm and cozy movies make it out to be haha?

 

Some insights would be really awesome ?

Congrats on the evolution of your experiences here - it's definitely nice to hear.

 

In terms of a Christmas dinner - no, you don't have to bring gifts (and it would be somewhat odd if you did) - but, it's pretty typically cultural norm to bring either a food item or - more commonly - a drink with you.

 

Typically people would bring a bottle of Wine (probably Red Wine, but it depends on what they are cooking) - however, if you don't drink or are uncomfortable with alcohol, you can bring sparkling juice instead (it's basically carbonated juice that is "fake wine" for lack of a better term - totally non-alcoholic).

 

If you do drink, but don't like wine, you could bring a 6-pack of your favourite beer, or a bottle of your favourite liquor, etc.

 

Otherwise, ask if you can bring a salad or some dinner rolls or a dessert pie (Apple, for example) - or, bring a food item you really like from your own culture, if you're feeling adventurous.

 

The most important thing though is don't overthink it. They are making dinner and they want your company - that's the thing to keep in mind.


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13 minutes ago, Sharif said:

 

 

I'll give you a heads up hahahaha

 

 

 

 

Chef once told me to bring something from my home cuisine to work and have him try it out, never really got around to it, because I am pretty much busy with studies apart from work. I could just bring along wine, but for the most part I haven't had enough to even know what's good, so the perfect thing would be to make a dessert he probably never tried and I have no clue how to make, but exams should be over around that time and I should have plenty of time to cook, figure out and find ingredients. 

 

Thanks for everyone for their response! It helped give me a bit of an idea and I will ask him later on today directly. You guys helped me realise there is really no reason for me to pretend to know what's on the go.

 

Again thank you so much! 

Wine is always a good thing to bring - if you don't know "what's good" - find out what he's making, and then just go to a local wine shop and ask them what to suggest - get like a $20 or $30 bottle of wine (or less, if you're tight on budget, but no need to go overboard on the price).

 

Sweets from your culture are also a great idea.


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Posted · Original PosterOP
9 hours ago, dalekphalm said:

Congrats on the evolution of your experiences here - it's definitely nice to hear.

 

In terms of a Christmas dinner - no, you don't have to bring gifts (and it would be somewhat odd if you did) - but, it's pretty typically cultural norm to bring either a food item or - more commonly - a drink with you.

 

Typically people would bring a bottle of Wine (probably Red Wine, but it depends on what they are cooking) - however, if you don't drink or are uncomfortable with alcohol, you can bring sparkling juice instead (it's basically carbonated juice that is "fake wine" for lack of a better term - totally non-alcoholic).

 

If you do drink, but don't like wine, you could bring a 6-pack of your favourite beer, or a bottle of your favourite liquor, etc.

 

Otherwise, ask if you can bring a salad or some dinner rolls or a dessert pie (Apple, for example) - or, bring a food item you really like from your own culture, if you're feeling adventurous.

 

The most important thing though is don't overthink it. They are making dinner and they want your company - that's the thing to keep in mind.

I am thinking of running off to the liquor store as plan B

I asked him about it today and told me it's basically a different version of Jigs dinner (It's newfoundland thing), but I completely forgot to ask him if it'd be cool if I bring something along. 

9 hours ago, dalekphalm said:

Wine is always a good thing to bring - if you don't know "what's good" - find out what he's making, and then just go to a local wine shop and ask them what to suggest - get like a $20 or $30 bottle of wine (or less, if you're tight on budget, but no need to go overboard on the price).

 

Sweets from your culture are also a great idea.

In all honesty, it's more to show my own appreciation for inviting me, the reason I wanna go through the trouble to begin with and will likely go the adversturious route as I assume he is most likely already familiar with most other desserts since he's literally a chef 


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