A photographer I met : 
"You know why I'm not like my friends who teach at university in photography rather than work ?"
Me : "no ?"
Him : "That's because I'm actually good and have so much work that I don't have to teach"

Me : [to myself] "huh.. a bit narcissistic but it's art, not surprised lol"
Me : "Huh"

Him : "For 100$/h tho I'll teach you.
Me : [Big thonk]