I see your point. I've got good camera gear, know most of the ins and outs of using it effectively, know photography theory & take 1000's of images on a trip but I wouldn't call myself a photographer. I wouldn't even call myself a gamer, owning a gaming PC, loads of cheap Summer Sale games & plenty of hours invested.
So I guess, for mine, regular participation in the activity (ie; take many images), maintain some deeper interest/passion/investment (eg; enter photo comps, further photography knowledge, keep up to date with latest gear, etc) & identifying yourself (eg; as a photographer) are the requisites.
But w/e, what's it really matter right?