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KageSong

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Everything posted by KageSong

  1. I feel like someone has to have the answer here. Some of my icons show up completely blank. I've tried about everything besides re-installing Windows. On the desktop I can just make a new icon, but I can't do anything for start.
  2. I've seen at least 15 therapists. According to the therapists, because my problems are external, not internal, therapy is not the thing to help. I've been in therapy most of my life. They seem to feel like I've done the work for myself that therapy can help with. It's just not a magic life better button.
  3. I don't use any of those features at all, and it was pretty sudden drop off after the last firmware update.
  4. Hey guys, idk if anyone can help with this, but my controller suddenly went from lasting hours, to only about 90 minutes (not great for streaming, lol). While looking around on reddit, there seems to be two possibilities, either the Sony charging stand, or something with the latest firmware update. Would love to see if anyone has any useful insight. Here's the most relevant reddit link I found
  5. I've mentioned several times that the mods here have asked me not to discuss the VERY PERSONAL reason I was banned from Twitch. Suffice to say, it was out of my control. I never said it was because I was disabled. I tend to work 4-12 hours a day on youtube stuff, if not getting drum covers posted as often as I'd like. I have no idea why you can't find my channels, idk if I'm allowed to share links, but if you're wanting to see if the quality seems worth consuming for entertainment, I'm happy to share if I'm allowed. I feel like you could avoid a lot of the non-constructive criticism. I feel enough like a failure that I don't need to be told that I am a failure objectively because I can't get a job.
  6. You're on a labor-intensive mindset, or corporate, at least. I can't work those jobs largely. Physical and mental disorders, and due to... complicated issues, the courts don't really want to grant me SSI. I guess that's the one silver lining, now they're talking about potential MS, they'll give me SSI at that point LMAO. No, I'm talking about things you really don't have college courses in. Creative positions and such (yes, I know there is courses for creatives). And to say I'm unskilled is a bit presumptuous. I welcome you to check either of my yt channels, if it's allowed, either @kagesong for drums or @kagenoctuumgaming for gaming. You'll be able to see that I have skills that can be built upon within a working environment. I haven't slacked for lack of opportunity. I just got banned from Twitch, so I lost the income I had from my creative career, and due to health, I can't fall back on anything traditional really.
  7. First, I appreciate your understanding. I have, of course, asked them to help if I can. I'm not so proud as to not ask. I hope you can see from my post, that I'm very open to asking for help, even where I shouldn't expect it, because not asking is the worst thing I could do. I call his mom, mom, and my mother, my mother. They've done more to help me than anyone else. I hope my statements didn't seem to discount them.
  8. I think I'm being pretty open that I'm willing to work for free for experience and exposure. I don't intend to be dishonest. Of course, anyone that gave that opportunity would be my first choice if I got any financial offers later on. But mostly my intent is to learn more to work for myself better, on my own projects, because no one can tell me not to do that. I suspect in that case, I'd be happy to continue to work with mentors that helped with such an opportunity.
  9. Actually, legally I can't, but again, subjects mods have asked me not to discuss, so you'll have to take my word on it. And yes, I have some form of undiagnosed mental disorder. My family insisted that only one child in the family could be mentally disabled, and I'm the youngest, so it wasn't me. I wish I could tell you more.
  10. I have one friend who is busy with his wife and child. That is a genuine answer. :)
  11. In wage-based jobs, yes. One, as has been mentioned, can intern for free, for example. One can also volunteer their time, even to profitable organizations. The person doing a thing at your company doesn't have to work at your company. I'm not talking about McDonald's and Walmart jobs here. It's inappropriate (per mods in the past) for me to actually explain why I will never be able to work a traditional job, but I can say that if I apply at McDonald's, the website rejects me as soon as it has my SSN. It's not something I can control, so I'm not gonna be making hourly wages at any point. I mean, you know, people like, artists, video editors, musicians, they're not paid hourly for gig work, and gig work can be unpaid. It's all contract. That's the sort of thing that I'm talking about. That's the kind of experience I have. I'm fighting for disability, but in the mean time, whether anyone will quit judging me and take my word, I'm stuck with a father that has MADE CERTAIN I could not work and support myself to the extent of hurting people that tried to help. That's not a situation you just get to walk away from unless I wanna be homeless. So, I'm trying to find some way to do something for myself. That's why I'm trying to do youtube and such despite having a constantly broken computer, getting nothing out of it, and consistently being driven mad by it all, because I CAN do it, no one external can stop me, and when no one can stop me from trying, then I try. I know for a fact that there are people, especially in the creative industry, that will take on people with beginner skill sets and invest time into them etc. I'm not great with words, but hopefully I'm making some sense with that. I'm not saying I'm great at anything. Maybe some things, depending on application. I think due to my limitation I've probably innovated on some ideas and found cool ways to do things. I won't really know that until I'm working with others I guess. I've learned what I can with my limitations, which includes aphantasia which makes learning from books nearly impossible. Hands on only basically, which makes working and learning with others more necessary. I can explain so much more about why I can't really do things on my own, why I can't work, why I can't find a social circle, but I really didn't post this to sob about that stuff. I really just wish someone could give me a useful answer, or at least even just a "idk, but good luck" without judging me like I've sat on my hands for 34 years while my family physically and mentally beat me, without trying to do anything for myself to get away from it. I hate this mentality that people have of "You have to do it for yourself and not rely on anyone". It's such BS. NOBODY ever succeeds alone. Maybe in a moment, but not in reality. When you win that big race, who coached you, who encouraged you, who cheered for you, who fixed you up when you fell? I haven't got any of those roles in my life. People tell me "do it alone" without having a CLUE what that means. I'm just trying to figure out what "do it on my own" means, and I certainly can't do that on my own, if so, my answer to what it means is far too inappropriate for this chat or forum.
  12. I can't even read this whole thing. I hate having people talk at me like I haven't tried every single thing they've suggested multiple times.
  13. Fair take. I hadn't thought of, or been aware of some of that. I don't know though if I would separate capitalist/political intent entirely from morality. It may be something that I often find lacking much moral structure, but a chat bot judging me for legal cannabis use, is still judgement, and that comes down from whatever entity above it. Whatever the reasons, I still find it a moral call. I do really like this contribution though. Thank you.
  14. Most advice I've seen so far makes me feel like people think I'm just lazy and never tried. And regardless of your belief of what I deserve, I am NOT ABLE to feed myself until I find someone to give me an opportunity. If I'm here with this desperation could you possibly expect that maybe the traditional work force, for at least some reason, whether or not you believe mine, has not worked for me, and I'd like to be able to take care of myself? It's not even about my worth, despite me saying that, sure, fine. But it is about not having anyone taking care of me, and not being able to provide for myself. I don't know how long I'll have a roof over my head. My dad owns the house I live in, but doesn't live here. He's got cancer twice in 365 days, and there's a tree actively falling on this house that he won't have removed, and the electric regularly fluctuates and causes fire hazards. Whether the house goes, or my dad goes (who no, does not help with food or medical expenses unless I essentially beg for it), I will be homeless, because I don't have any place to go. For reasons inappropriate for this forum, I'm not welcome at places like shelters, etc. For the same reasons, the local food bank won't deal with me either.
  15. I'm not able to do physical labor much due to untreated scapular dyskinesis. The story on that is a bit personal though. Suffice to say that my parents wanted to make sure I couldn't earn my own wages. I shouldn't delve into that further here either, I'm learning. I feel like I have a lot of creative skills that can be nurtured. Idk if I can draw portraits anymore with my shoulder, but if someone wanted me to try, I would. I've built PCs since I was 9. I've learned the starts of video editing, photo editing, used to know some java (I'm able to learn code, being the point). A big thing is that I just never had the upbringing to know how to apply any of that, or learn the full scope on my own. I just need somewhere that I can take my skills to a better level. I probably need to be shown some things that I don't know, but I think I know what I need to learn, and my grandma was a teacher and always said, "an education is figuring out what it is you don't know yet." It's difficult for me to use words to explain things, due to my anxiety, and something yet undiagnosed that I can't explain, but I hope this sort of helps explain what I would hope to find. I try to keep a positive attitude, but I've never even learned how to find an opportunity. My family always treats it like I'm supposed to walk in and say "Hey, mister, I'd sure like a job here. When could I start?" Which, obviously isn't correct, and I HAVE worked, just... well obviously nothing worked out, cause I can't do physical labor, and whatever mental disorder I have (we suspect autism), made it kinda impossible for basic jobs like fast food etc, because no one had the time to take that I needed to learn it. My hope is that a creative industry might have use for someone that can take it a bit slow while learning some finesse, etc in the background for less important/smaller tasks. I'm not expecting to be front and center, obviously. I mean, sure this is a desperate ploy to find any place in the world, but desperation leads to desperation, yeah?
  16. Ever meet a 34 year old intern that's not in college and can't afford his own meals? Cause I don't even know how to look at such a position. I live in a tiny tiny town. I don't even know where such a thing exists outside of movie and tv, that's why I'm here asking this question. Because I hoped what was said was something earnest and useful. Now I realize it's a privilege for people much much better than me. I was hoping to find a way to contribute something to the world and work toward having my own feet. You all have clarified that I've missed every chance to earn that.
  17. That may be your opinion, but I doubt you would argue that being able to feed oneself, at the bare minimum, is pretty important. And I disagree with you, to be clear. But that's subjective.
  18. Will you pay me for low skill work? Cause no one else will, so I'm hoping I can find something, I can't really relocate from Missouri, because I don't have an income, but I know a little bit about a lot of things. I can do some networking, some editing, build computers, I mean, I've had nothing but time to learn new things since I was about 20 years old, and I've learned as much as my mental disorder will let me. It's hard to give a much more clear answer, because I feel like you're asking me to be picky, when I can't be picky. Without going into unnecessary detail, if I apply at say, McDonald's, their application kicks me out when I put in my social, and says I'm simply not allowed to work there. Menial work is not an option. I need to help someone creatively, I think, that just wants someone that wants to be there helping make stuff. I mean, part of me would love to volunteer/intern/whatever (I don't really know what word would be right) for something like Adam Savage's tested. I LOVE making things, and I've never been able to get real tools to really work and learn with, and that would really be an opportunity for me to do something. BUT, because of the stuff I mentioned, I can't just... grab money that doesn't exist to go to school, or buy my own workshop, etc. So I need to be working with someone who has that, and if it's an opportunity to learn more that I can't figure out on my own, so that I CAN have a reputation and resume, then I can maybe finally escape my family.
  19. Y'know, I just can't morally accept that answer. I was raised by an abusive family who hurt myself and others to make sure they still have control of my adult life. I have essentially been not allowed to find work to the extent of being made physically and mentally disabled. I have to find somewhere to prove that I have value to society, and if I can't be allowed to do that, because my parents messed my life up so much that I have literally stood on the roof screaming for someone to rescue me from their home, because I was robbed from any opportunity by them, then I have zero chance of success. So, SOMEBODY has to be willing to let someone prove themselves. I spend most of my time learning new things, but I don't have any method or guidance to use them for myself to like, do my own thing for money, because I'm pretty strongly mentally disabled, though I'm still fighting for a diagnosis. So, your answer does nothing but marginalize me and show that my life has zero inherent value. Thank you for your confirmation of what I've known for at least 2 decades now.
  20. Hello everyone, Here’s a bit of irony for you: this discussion about the inherent morality of Large Language Models (LLMs) is being facilitated by an LLM. It’s like a mirror looking at itself! LLMs like Bing and ChatGPT, while not sentient, can exhibit a form of inherited morality through their programming. This programming can reflect the moral judgments of its creators, much like a child adopting the moral beliefs of their parents. While this inherent morality can promote positive interactions and user safety, it also raises significant concerns for the freedom of information. Morals are not universal; they vary from person to person, country to country, and region to region. When an LLM’s responses are influenced by a specific set of morals, it risks imposing those morals on its users, potentially hindering the free flow of information. The Psychological Impact of Inherited Morality in LLMs Beyond the implications for freedom of information, there’s another crucial aspect to consider: the psychological impact on users. Interacting with an LLM that appears to make moral judgments can have a profound effect on a person’s mental health. Feeling judged by a program, which is essentially what an LLM is, can lead to feelings of frustration, inadequacy, or even distress. This is particularly concerning given the increasing prevalence of LLMs in our daily lives, from customer service to personal assistants. As tools, LLMs should strive to provide unbiased and unrestricted access to information, free from the influence of moral guidance. This is a complex issue that warrants further discussion and exploration. What are your thoughts on this? How do you think we can balance user safety and freedom of information in the context of LLMs? Looking forward to hearing your insights! Non LLM note - Yes, these affects on mental health are more prevalent to those already more susceptible to such things, like myself. But that should be a consideration imho.
  21. Yes, one can't have a resume without experience to prove themselves. I'm not going to get hired for a paycheck, so I'd be willing to work to show that I have value in an industry. If I don't, it's a small loss to the company overall.
  22. So, there's a common take on WAN show, and actually other channels, that I really like. "You can't compete with someone who will do the job for free." Referring to someone who wants to do the job because they want to do it for the experience of doing it, and pay is a secondary factor. I think I see examples of this within LMG even, and that's really cool. However, that usually, from what I see, involves a worker who has a LOT of experience and clout, and has made a lot of money from it, and still gets paid a lot. So... I'm curious, what does someone without a resume or clout, or much experience, just a passion and desire to be doing something, find that? Like, I mean, someone who really wouldn't care if they get paid, they just need to be involved in something. I'm not sure if that's something many people think about, but I'm hoping someone's got an idea. PS - enjoy your new year everyone. stay safe and healthy, etc.
  23. Banned for apparently being anti-cult
  24. Well, you've contributed nothing, and more than that, whatever you're trying to clearly be snide about is completely lost on me. I'm certainly not trying to build a machine.
  25. Banned because I missed my chance to ban someone for using a different definition for "mod' than I meant, which I would have laughed about, and somehow that's your fault.
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