Nebari

<blows dust off the folding machine>
 
REACTOR ONLINE
SENSORS ONLINE
GPU ONLINE
ALL SYSTEMS NOMINAL

<blows dust off the folding machine>
 
REACTOR ONLINE
SENSORS ONLINE
GPU ONLINE
ALL SYSTEMS NOMINAL

<blows dust off the folding machine>
 
REACTOR ONLINE
SENSORS ONLINE
GPU ONLINE
ALL SYSTEMS NOMINAL

<blows dust off the folding machine>
 
REACTOR ONLINE
SENSORS ONLINE
GPU ONLINE
ALL SYSTEMS NOMINAL

<blows dust off the folding machine>
 
REACTOR ONLINE
SENSORS ONLINE
GPU ONLINE
ALL SYSTEMS NOMINAL

<blows dust off the folding machine>
 
REACTOR ONLINE
SENSORS ONLINE
GPU ONLINE
ALL SYSTEMS NOMINAL

Last week...
 
"Holy cow... I have no idea what your computer's trying to do but the reason why Program X is taking forever is because your hard drive is completely thrashing about."
"What does that mean?"
<Start to explain thrashing>
<Notice user's eye are glazing>
"Ahh... forget that. Think of it this way... your problem is like you've walked into the DMV for a new license and all the agents are running around screaming while throwing paper into the air."
"Oh, that makes sense!"

Last week...
 
"Holy cow... I have no idea what your computer's trying to do but the reason why Program X is taking forever is because your hard drive is completely thrashing about."
"What does that mean?"
<Start to explain thrashing>
<Notice user's eye are glazing>
"Ahh... forget that. Think of it this way... your problem is like you've walked into the DMV for a new license and all the agents are running around screaming while throwing paper into the air."
"Oh, that makes sense!"

Last week...
 
"Holy cow... I have no idea what your computer's trying to do but the reason why Program X is taking forever is because your hard drive is completely thrashing about."
"What does that mean?"
<Start to explain thrashing>
<Notice user's eye are glazing>
"Ahh... forget that. Think of it this way... your problem is like you've walked into the DMV for a new license and all the agents are running around screaming while throwing paper into the air."
"Oh, that makes sense!"

... can I send a telepresence robot in a tie?

Don't put all the blame on Exchange, its not its fault that Outlook is also a horrendous creaking tower waiting for a breeze to blow it over.

Background sync of two massive OST files while having both proxy access AND the proxy account added as a second account in Outlook.
 
In short... I HATE EXCHANGE.

Last week...
 
"Holy cow... I have no idea what your computer's trying to do but the reason why Program X is taking forever is because your hard drive is completely thrashing about."
"What does that mean?"
<Start to explain thrashing>
<Notice user's eye are glazing>
"Ahh... forget that. Think of it this way... your problem is like you've walked into the DMV for a new license and all the agents are running around screaming while throwing paper into the air."
"Oh, that makes sense!"

Last week...
 
"Holy cow... I have no idea what your computer's trying to do but the reason why Program X is taking forever is because your hard drive is completely thrashing about."
"What does that mean?"
<Start to explain thrashing>
<Notice user's eye are glazing>
"Ahh... forget that. Think of it this way... your problem is like you've walked into the DMV for a new license and all the agents are running around screaming while throwing paper into the air."
"Oh, that makes sense!"

Last week...
 
"Holy cow... I have no idea what your computer's trying to do but the reason why Program X is taking forever is because your hard drive is completely thrashing about."
"What does that mean?"
<Start to explain thrashing>
<Notice user's eye are glazing>
"Ahh... forget that. Think of it this way... your problem is like you've walked into the DMV for a new license and all the agents are running around screaming while throwing paper into the air."
"Oh, that makes sense!"

Last week...
 
"Holy cow... I have no idea what your computer's trying to do but the reason why Program X is taking forever is because your hard drive is completely thrashing about."
"What does that mean?"
<Start to explain thrashing>
<Notice user's eye are glazing>
"Ahh... forget that. Think of it this way... your problem is like you've walked into the DMV for a new license and all the agents are running around screaming while throwing paper into the air."
"Oh, that makes sense!"

There's been an Upgrading Our WORST Gaming Rigs, should do a "Upgrading Our WORST Home Network".

But.... why?

Ooo... let's see now...
 
- The user who reported that the cyan toner leaked but upon inspection the printer was covered in yellow... (less technical and more basic color recognition).
- Having to explain to a user, "no ma'am, we can't take a bad review off of Facebook. Because we don't own Facebook."
- The older computer users that will not accept that they made a mistake but that "the computers are out to get them" and "they never had this trouble before."
- "You will not leave my office until you make Outlook look and behave like Groupwise."
- "The students are playing violent first-person shooters in the lab. Please block the entire .io domain."
- "16:9 is the same as 4:3. The projector is clearly broken." (we have this one posted on the wall at work)
- "I put 32 GB of RAM in my machine but it's still slow!" "Sir, you're still using Win 7 32-bit..." "Does that matter?"
- ANYTHING REGARDING GOOGLE CLOUD PRINT
- "This batch file I wrote to automate this task isn't working." "Sorry to hear that, we don't support users' random batch files" <looks at files in the ticket> "How the heck do you write object-oriented batch files???"
 

Ooo... let's see now...
 
- The user who reported that the cyan toner leaked but upon inspection the printer was covered in yellow... (less technical and more basic color recognition).
- Having to explain to a user, "no ma'am, we can't take a bad review off of Facebook. Because we don't own Facebook."
- The older computer users that will not accept that they made a mistake but that "the computers are out to get them" and "they never had this trouble before."
- "You will not leave my office until you make Outlook look and behave like Groupwise."
- "The students are playing violent first-person shooters in the lab. Please block the entire .io domain."
- "16:9 is the same as 4:3. The projector is clearly broken." (we have this one posted on the wall at work)
- "I put 32 GB of RAM in my machine but it's still slow!" "Sir, you're still using Win 7 32-bit..." "Does that matter?"
- ANYTHING REGARDING GOOGLE CLOUD PRINT
- "This batch file I wrote to automate this task isn't working." "Sorry to hear that, we don't support users' random batch files" <looks at files in the ticket> "How the heck do you write object-oriented batch files???"
 

Ooo... let's see now...
 
- The user who reported that the cyan toner leaked but upon inspection the printer was covered in yellow... (less technical and more basic color recognition).
- Having to explain to a user, "no ma'am, we can't take a bad review off of Facebook. Because we don't own Facebook."
- The older computer users that will not accept that they made a mistake but that "the computers are out to get them" and "they never had this trouble before."
- "You will not leave my office until you make Outlook look and behave like Groupwise."
- "The students are playing violent first-person shooters in the lab. Please block the entire .io domain."
- "16:9 is the same as 4:3. The projector is clearly broken." (we have this one posted on the wall at work)
- "I put 32 GB of RAM in my machine but it's still slow!" "Sir, you're still using Win 7 32-bit..." "Does that matter?"
- ANYTHING REGARDING GOOGLE CLOUD PRINT
- "This batch file I wrote to automate this task isn't working." "Sorry to hear that, we don't support users' random batch files" <looks at files in the ticket> "How the heck do you write object-oriented batch files???"
 

Ooo... let's see now...
 
- The user who reported that the cyan toner leaked but upon inspection the printer was covered in yellow... (less technical and more basic color recognition).
- Having to explain to a user, "no ma'am, we can't take a bad review off of Facebook. Because we don't own Facebook."
- The older computer users that will not accept that they made a mistake but that "the computers are out to get them" and "they never had this trouble before."
- "You will not leave my office until you make Outlook look and behave like Groupwise."
- "The students are playing violent first-person shooters in the lab. Please block the entire .io domain."
- "16:9 is the same as 4:3. The projector is clearly broken." (we have this one posted on the wall at work)
- "I put 32 GB of RAM in my machine but it's still slow!" "Sir, you're still using Win 7 32-bit..." "Does that matter?"
- ANYTHING REGARDING GOOGLE CLOUD PRINT
- "This batch file I wrote to automate this task isn't working." "Sorry to hear that, we don't support users' random batch files" <looks at files in the ticket> "How the heck do you write object-oriented batch files???"
 

Ooo... let's see now...
 
- The user who reported that the cyan toner leaked but upon inspection the printer was covered in yellow... (less technical and more basic color recognition).
- Having to explain to a user, "no ma'am, we can't take a bad review off of Facebook. Because we don't own Facebook."
- The older computer users that will not accept that they made a mistake but that "the computers are out to get them" and "they never had this trouble before."
- "You will not leave my office until you make Outlook look and behave like Groupwise."
- "The students are playing violent first-person shooters in the lab. Please block the entire .io domain."
- "16:9 is the same as 4:3. The projector is clearly broken." (we have this one posted on the wall at work)
- "I put 32 GB of RAM in my machine but it's still slow!" "Sir, you're still using Win 7 32-bit..." "Does that matter?"
- ANYTHING REGARDING GOOGLE CLOUD PRINT
- "This batch file I wrote to automate this task isn't working." "Sorry to hear that, we don't support users' random batch files" <looks at files in the ticket> "How the heck do you write object-oriented batch files???"
 

How's his return policy?

Ooo... let's see now...
 
- The user who reported that the cyan toner leaked but upon inspection the printer was covered in yellow... (less technical and more basic color recognition).
- Having to explain to a user, "no ma'am, we can't take a bad review off of Facebook. Because we don't own Facebook."
- The older computer users that will not accept that they made a mistake but that "the computers are out to get them" and "they never had this trouble before."
- "You will not leave my office until you make Outlook look and behave like Groupwise."
- "The students are playing violent first-person shooters in the lab. Please block the entire .io domain."
- "16:9 is the same as 4:3. The projector is clearly broken." (we have this one posted on the wall at work)
- "I put 32 GB of RAM in my machine but it's still slow!" "Sir, you're still using Win 7 32-bit..." "Does that matter?"
- ANYTHING REGARDING GOOGLE CLOUD PRINT
- "This batch file I wrote to automate this task isn't working." "Sorry to hear that, we don't support users' random batch files" <looks at files in the ticket> "How the heck do you write object-oriented batch files???"