Windows95

You can keep the internet cable plugged in while installing and still create a local user account without entering in an email. Best practice is to create the admin account, then use a standard user for your daily driving.
To "remove NSAware", uninstall Windows and download your Linux distro of choice.

(Timestamp set at 26:55)

Bingo.  Found the problem.

that's the upside of 99% iso-propyl alcohol, it evaporates and doesn't short or oxidize parts

What screws are you looking for? Motherboard screws are the x15 ones

Contrary  to popular belief, magnets that small don't immediately kill PC parts.  You're fine.  Magnetic screwdrivers are a good thing to have when building PCs.  Those little screws are a bitch when not using one at times.
 
can't help you with the upper right corner, wiggle around a bit, should work fine.

the holes in your motherboard are actually grounded, using the standsoffs (or this post) on your case, so metal is supposed to touch metal there.
that is why you place metal screws into the other holes as well.

This is usually called a 'post' and is a feature every case should have IMO.
It's a way so you can place the motherboard in your case and not have to worry about aligning it perfectly with all the other standoffs.
 
Leave it as is and just screw in all the other standoff screws

You’ll be fine either way. I use the splitter. 

Doesn't matter much.
If you take option 1, your motherboard can still control both fans, just both at the same speed.
With option 2, you can set up a different curve for both fans, not sure why you would want that.
pin 3 is 'sense', basically it can ask the fan "how fast are you running?". Because of the way the splitters work, it can only ask one, but control both (since control is via pin 4)
 

it doesn't matter a single bit, that your cables are touching any part of the cooler. no issues at all.

im not sure if is slowly going down or not. I removed the default mount, put the right am4 mounts and so on following this video:
 
 
 
 
now i just keep screwing both screws, screwing and screwing forever, and im not sure if its doing something or not. should i keep doing? is it this slow? WTF

jesus this fucking sucks. the left one wouldnt start

i have to return some videotapes

Don't.
It can throw out of the balance of the blades

Install before putting it in the case and you can hold the cooler as your place the motherboard in, this is perfectly safe and easiest. 

It will be fine, just hold it by the cooler, not by the actual PCB of the board.

I find it easier to do it before, but you can do it either way. I've done both, doesn't really matter
 
How would it "break the case"?

PCB is a lot more durable than you think it is
 
It's not like you're bending the board over your knee or anything

Pretty sure once you remove the heat sink, the sticker says "please remove before use" printed on it

You have SYS_FAN 1, 2, 4, 5 and 6. 5 and 6 are labeled as PUMP too, but it's either PUMP or FAN.

 
So that's place for 5 system fans and 2 CPU fans (and again, the cooler comes with a splitter, so you really only need 1 for the CPU).

The LNA is a specific fan cable

It doesn't matter.
 
The vibration pads won't change the amount of air the fans move.

You need this:

This page of the Define R6 page should explain it all:
And you plug it into CPU_FAN on your motherboard, top edge, from the middle it's a bit to the right:
Of course it also needs SATA power, which comes from your PSU.
Either plug all your fans into your motherboard, or plug them all into the fan controller (as described above).
If you want to connect them to your motherboard:
- Noctua comes with a splitter so you can use both fans on one header, but your motherboard actually has two fan headers (one to the left to the CPU_FAN header, which I circled in the above picture)
- the other fan positions are along the sides. I placed a blue rectangle around those in the picture (not sure  why the skipped 3 and 5)
Those are for the on/off switch, reset switch, HDD activity LED. There is also front audio.
F_Panel are in the bottom right (see the orange rectangle) and the front panel audio is in the bottom left (green rectangle).