I had only ever heard the "1GB per 1TB" advice, never knew that the ZFS devs think that's bullshit. The FreeNAS Guide doesn't even recommend it as profusely anymore, simply saying:
BTW, as per this line in the ZFS on Linux GitHub, the ARC Metadata Limit (à la Dedupe Table) is actually allowed to use 75% of the ARC Limit (all memory), rather than the 12.5% the ZFS dev suggested (don't know when that changed). On FreeBSD (or at least FreeNAS) it is 25% of the ARC Limit.
So if you want the max ram used by the dedupe table, it's simply [Max Pool Size in TB]/[Block Size]*320 Bytes. Gonna attempt to dedupe my Media/Seeding dataset.