Clearly Confused

And im allowed to have cp on my pc when im 13 ,right?.......right? (jk don't sue me)

They are kicking down your door for your data.  'Effort' is a forgone conclusion.

Best bet is to destroy the hard drive, Nothing quicker than it.
 
Hard drives are very cheap anyway so its not expensive to replace.

Fair enough.

DBAN is the way, i have an evil DBAN stick here at work, i modified the syslinux config file so that it runs unattended. Basically i jam this into my colleagues work PC once a month or so and set USB to top boot priority. When he turns the PC on he has literally 10 seconds to realise its booted into DBAN and turn his PC off before he loses all his files

I herd cats.

Sounds like help desk.
Everyone wants to blame it on the com peep.  No matter if the machine is not under you nor part of your job.
 
I have that fun being in the Air Guard in a IT career field under them.  All other career fields see com and think you must fix anything electronic related.
 
 
Hehe, yep, we herd cats.     Hard business it be too.
 
For the occasion, the video our tech instructor showed us.  Hehe.
 
 

I work at The Pentagon.
 
 
 
 
 
I clean the windows.

I work at The Pentagon.
 
 
 
 
 
I clean the windows.

there is an ASCII character that does a beep
echo -ne '\007'
should work on any system, just do a cron to watch your logs for whatever error it is you want to beep

Not much of a difference in performance, but you get more usb ports and a usb-c port.