Zombater

Aah, this reminds me of this club we had in fifth grade called "Snappy Apps".
 
Most of you guys here that know me, albeit a few, will know that I like gaming, wether it be digital like TF2 or tabletop like Warhammer, more than tech. The only reason why I got into tech was because I was planning to create my own games in Unity, and just decided it would be nice to have some background knowledge, ye know, and save a lotta money on a custom built PC as opposed to a pre-built PC too.
 
But, despite this, I somehow struck out as some kind of "nerdy kid", maybe because I liked reading a lot (used to love Lemony Snicket and such, now I stick to Stephen King) to the teacher, who, despite not sending me an invite to the robotics club, send me an invite to "Snappy Apps".
 
I come from a relatively working-to-upper class family, mkay? But we are very, very conservative with our money. I spent 1 whole day wondering wether it was worth it to buy a Warhammer codex for the Necrons off my friend for $2. 
 
So, you can probably understand my anger when I find that you must have an apple touch device for the club.
 
I'm like: dafuq? they can jsut give us some ipads to test our apps on...
 
But no.
 
I psyched myself to the point where I felt confident about asking my dad for permission to ahem borrow ahem his iPad.
 
He says yes. Okay, good and all, right? So I'm here, thinking: okay, this snappy apps thing looks cool. It's unlikely we'll learn any Objective C, but it's cool, cuz I assumed the teachers had some easy app-making program.
 
Even if we were making 2d games in Unity it would've been better than what we actually did.
 
 
What did we actually do?
 
Simply,
 
Play apps. And then share "cool" ones with our friends.
 
Holy crap. Never before in my life, have I heard of such a ridiculous idea. I swear to the holy trinity BRAHMA CREATE ME VISHNU PRESERVE ME SHIVA DESTROY ME I have never, never in my life heard of such a crappy idea.
 
That. Was. Crazy.

Another fucking story with the famous idiot.
 
Him: Fuck you.
 
Me: Why?
 
Him: You said you wouldn't let me help you with your Unity game cuz I don't know "code"?
 
Me: And?
 
Him: I do know code.
 
Me: Which language?
 
Him: Code.
 
Me: What?
 
Him: Cod-
 
Me: No, I heard you perfectly well. But this is like me saying I have a car, and you ask which car it is, and I reply "a car". What the hell. Which compiler do you use, what do you write your code in?
 
 
Long story short: this kid thinks that knowing how to use a Terminal/The Command Prompt is knowing "code".

Those people that call handhelds and consoles "games". For example, 4-5 ago when I was a DS kid, my grandpa said "How much did your game cost?" and I'm like "about 10 bucks, and I bought it off an old friend". And he's like, "woah that's cheap" and then I find out he's talking about my DS and my face is all:
 

So, yeah, I'm playing BioShock: Infinite on my friend's amazing gaming desktop he built when his technophobe grandma walks past. I'm 12 (almost 13) by the way, and he's 12. I comment on how I like Stephen King, and whilst I'm trying to fight my way through Infinite's racist raffle, the grandma comments "Well, at least you learn a lot more from him. What books of his have you read?"
"It and The Shining," I replied. I then added "I don't think reading fiction books really teaches you anything".
"Oh yeah? Tell me what you learned from this video (it's a videogame, not a video by the way) and tell me what you learn from those books.
 
Things I learned from Stephen King's IT:
 
1. Apparently IT means a killer clown and not "Information Technology".
2. Stephen King likes describing six 11 year old boys having intercourse with a 11 year old girl.
 
Things I learned from The Shining:
 
1. Stanley Kubrick makes every movie adaption of his better, with the exception of A Clockwork Orange.
2. The above fact is true.
 
Things I learned from BioShock Infinite:
 
1. More about the multiverse theory.
2. Quantum particles.
3. Racism in the early 1900s.
 
[sarcasm]
So yeah, I guess you could say I learned more in Stephen King's books...

Keep in mind that vice-versa isn't always true though, my dad studied computer science, knows some coding and has built many computers yet he still prefers Macs, and I do too but I do agree most of them are overpriced.
 
'Nother story:
 
So the kid who bought that i7 Xtreme edition and that 650 has a brother (he is 13, a year older than me), who I met the day-before-yesterday. I talked to him and I said "I am officially giving up console gaming as the technology and hardware it has is inferior compared to that of a PC of a similar price range".
 
He then stared at me like this:
 

 
And replied "but the PS4 Vita (what?) has more cores clocked at 3gb but the PC is very blah blah blah and the consoles have more VRAM like it has 500 mb and yours only has 2gb blah blah blah ouija boards".
 
My face:
 

Well maybe YOU'RE not, but I've seen a lot of people say things like that like "oh he couldn't type lol lol lol he was a non-techie lol".

"Umm, what is my GPU?"
 
"Umm, what?"
 
"My GPU, what is it?"
 
"What model Laptop do you have? I'll look it up for you?"
 
"I have a Windows laptop, what GPUs do Windows computers use?"
 
and
 
"You have Linux? I thought you built your own computer."

Another fucking story with the famous idiot.
 
Him: Fuck you.
 
Me: Why?
 
Him: You said you wouldn't let me help you with your Unity game cuz I don't know "code"?
 
Me: And?
 
Him: I do know code.
 
Me: Which language?
 
Him: Code.
 
Me: What?
 
Him: Cod-
 
Me: No, I heard you perfectly well. But this is like me saying I have a car, and you ask which car it is, and I reply "a car". What the hell. Which compiler do you use, what do you write your code in?
 
 
Long story short: this kid thinks that knowing how to use a Terminal/The Command Prompt is knowing "code".

Well, his gem happened to me during Personal Social Health Education day at my school, a year ago.
 
We had cards with famous people on it. We got to pick two of them. I picked Flea and Linus Torvalds (not you, Linus. Sorry.)
 
 
Mine:
 
- Linus Torvalds (nobody knows who he is)
 
- Flea (Red Hot Chili Peppers guy, nobody knows who he is)
 
- Some sports people that get paid for advertising energy drinks.
 
- Clint Eastwood (nobody knows who he is)
 
 
So we had to describe them using yes/no answers and we were allowed a hint. My hint for Clint Eastwood? "Famous Western-film hero". I did for Flea "most well known member of the Red-Hot-Chili-Peppers. Someone got all the sports people, my friend got Flea, because I introduced him to good music like the Butthole Surfers, Nirvana, RHCP etc.
 
 
Okay, so that's all good. This other girl, it was her turn. C will represent me, as always in my stories.
 
 
Her: This person is famous in technology. He invented the computer.
 
Despite being moderately tech literate, still not versed in technology, I go on to ask:
 
C: Is it a boy or a girl?
 
Her: A boy.
 
So I think a bit more. I'm thinking of Alan Turing and ENIAC, but I can't remember the guy's names. I remember Presper something, so I ask "Is his first name Presper?"
 
Her: No.
 
C: (remembering at this point) JOHN MATUSZA- er, MAUCHLY!
 
Her: Never heard of them!
 
 
Then it friggin strikes me: This girl is stupid as hell when it comes to technology! How would she even know about ENIAC, let alone Presper Eckert and John Mauchly. So I ask her for another hint. She goes again.
 
 
Her: The person also invented the web.
 
C: You're retarded.
 
Her: Forget the entire computer part.
 
C: Tim Berners-Lee!
 
Her: Nao.
 
C: Timothy Berners-Lee!
 
Her: No.
 
C: Timothy Lee-Berners? (maybe I got it wrong)
 
Her: No.
 
C: Tim Lee-Berners?
 
Her: No.
 
C: Lee-Tim Berners?
 
Her: OKAY I DAMN GIVE UP! Stop, no his name is not Berners or Lee or anything.
 
C: Tim?
 
 
I'm pulling her leg at this point, because I know she has it wrong. Then I realize, maybe she means internet, not web.
 
C: Rob Kane?
 
Her: No.
 
C: Bob Kane? Oh sorry, it was KAHN!
 
Her: No.
 
C: Vint Surfer?
 
Her: No.
C: The Butthole Surfers, no wait, I GOT IT!
 
C: (This is my chance to mock democrats) AL GORE!
 
Her: He invented the internet and the first computer.
 
C: Okay, who.
 
Her:

I was screwing around in command prompt at school. This kid literally gets up and yells, yeah, the whole room is silent "OMG SO-AND-SO IS HAXXING!"

"Umm, what is my GPU?"
 
"Umm, what?"
 
"My GPU, what is it?"
 
"What model Laptop do you have? I'll look it up for you?"
 
"I have a Windows laptop, what GPUs do Windows computers use?"
 
and
 
"You have Linux? I thought you built your own computer."

You all need to get a sense of humor. Nobody is this stupid, of course the Hippocrates thing was intentional. Firstly, his name was capitalized and I said "is Hippocrate" not "is *a* Hippocrate". Why you would assume someone with as decent grammar as mine to write something that stupid, is a question I don't even want you all to answer.

Aah, this reminds me of this club we had in fifth grade called "Snappy Apps".
 
Most of you guys here that know me, albeit a few, will know that I like gaming, wether it be digital like TF2 or tabletop like Warhammer, more than tech. The only reason why I got into tech was because I was planning to create my own games in Unity, and just decided it would be nice to have some background knowledge, ye know, and save a lotta money on a custom built PC as opposed to a pre-built PC too.
 
But, despite this, I somehow struck out as some kind of "nerdy kid", maybe because I liked reading a lot (used to love Lemony Snicket and such, now I stick to Stephen King) to the teacher, who, despite not sending me an invite to the robotics club, send me an invite to "Snappy Apps".
 
I come from a relatively working-to-upper class family, mkay? But we are very, very conservative with our money. I spent 1 whole day wondering wether it was worth it to buy a Warhammer codex for the Necrons off my friend for $2. 
 
So, you can probably understand my anger when I find that you must have an apple touch device for the club.
 
I'm like: dafuq? they can jsut give us some ipads to test our apps on...
 
But no.
 
I psyched myself to the point where I felt confident about asking my dad for permission to ahem borrow ahem his iPad.
 
He says yes. Okay, good and all, right? So I'm here, thinking: okay, this snappy apps thing looks cool. It's unlikely we'll learn any Objective C, but it's cool, cuz I assumed the teachers had some easy app-making program.
 
Even if we were making 2d games in Unity it would've been better than what we actually did.
 
 
What did we actually do?
 
Simply,
 
Play apps. And then share "cool" ones with our friends.
 
Holy crap. Never before in my life, have I heard of such a ridiculous idea. I swear to the holy trinity BRAHMA CREATE ME VISHNU PRESERVE ME SHIVA DESTROY ME I have never, never in my life heard of such a crappy idea.
 
That. Was. Crazy.

I can't even blame the chaps.

I understand what you mean, but they're not really that funny. The fun is this thread has died down FOR ME (maybe not for you) because all of them are things like "ermahgerd this is weird once i was dere and someone asked me what a pci slot was lawl lawl lawl" Issnotfunnyanymore and won't be FOR ME (maybe not for you).

Those people that call handhelds and consoles "games". For example, 4-5 ago when I was a DS kid, my grandpa said "How much did your game cost?" and I'm like "about 10 bucks, and I bought it off an old friend". And he's like, "woah that's cheap" and then I find out he's talking about my DS and my face is all:
 

So, yeah, I'm playing BioShock: Infinite on my friend's amazing gaming desktop he built when his technophobe grandma walks past. I'm 12 (almost 13) by the way, and he's 12. I comment on how I like Stephen King, and whilst I'm trying to fight my way through Infinite's racist raffle, the grandma comments "Well, at least you learn a lot more from him. What books of his have you read?"
"It and The Shining," I replied. I then added "I don't think reading fiction books really teaches you anything".
"Oh yeah? Tell me what you learned from this video (it's a videogame, not a video by the way) and tell me what you learn from those books.
 
Things I learned from Stephen King's IT:
 
1. Apparently IT means a killer clown and not "Information Technology".
2. Stephen King likes describing six 11 year old boys having intercourse with a 11 year old girl.
 
Things I learned from The Shining:
 
1. Stanley Kubrick makes every movie adaption of his better, with the exception of A Clockwork Orange.
2. The above fact is true.
 
Things I learned from BioShock Infinite:
 
1. More about the multiverse theory.
2. Quantum particles.
3. Racism in the early 1900s.
 
[sarcasm]
So yeah, I guess you could say I learned more in Stephen King's books...

"Who cares, it's just a keyboard".
 
Also, my friend made fun of me for spending AED 6500 on a computer. His glasses broke, so I said "dude why you so stressed?" They were AED 7000.
 
 
My friend is Hippocrates.
 
EDIT: Looks like some people have no sense of humor. No, my friend is not hypocritical, he is an ancient greek physician.

For art at school we had to draw a self portrait, so we had to print off pictures of stuff we loved. I came with Unity, Blender, Beavis & Butt-head and South Park on mine. Someone points out I like Unity. I say yeah, 'cuz it's fun and easy(er) to use. He says "Unity games suck. They're the worst developers ever! Everytime I go get a crappy app from the app store on my iPhone, it has the Unity sign at the beginning. Unity sucks."
 
I explain to him what a game engine is and point out some good games made in Unity. On the way out of the locker I get stopped by someone else, who says the same friggin' thing. Dammit.
 
UNITY IS AN ENGINE FFS!

Indeed, it is.It's up to the parents. The most violent movie I've been permitted to watch (although I do watch lots worse like Cannibal Holocaust without their knowing) is the original RoboCop. My parents aren't strict because they know I will easily be exposed to this content anyways (back in October, which was around when I turned 12, or September or maybe Decemberish, the head of our grade did a talk in which he used words like boner, pubic hair and made some toilet humor (although very few if any sexual references). My parents are still appalled at me though when I use the word hell, but not at "heck" which is a portmanteau word of hell and fuck, furthermore showing their lack of knowledge in censorship.I, myself wouldn't allow anyone under 13 to play a game with sexual content and wouldn't allow anyone under 8 to play a game with realistic violence (realistic being violence in Mortal Kombat and Dark Souls, unrealistic being, like Super Mario). The reason why I think worse of sexual content is not because of the fact it's sexual, in fact most children know about sex by 9-11 nowadays, but rather because they'll learn unrealistic expectations from it, same with gambling in games and movies - like in videogame slot machines, you are almost always guaranteed to win something, and the same doesn't apply IRL. More with slot machines though, not really games with money rewards and losses, because that's dumb.
For anyone who wants to laugh their heads off, here's another video of STAR_ poking fun at CoD:
http://youtu.be/SMLKgeXyIGQ

Pure ignorance. I don't make often fun of people for not knowing tech unless they're super, super ignorant though, because that would imply I actually knew the rules of something as simple as football.You guys all make fun of people for not knowing what GPU is more powerful. Where I live, me and my friend took a survey of 200 people at our school, all older than fourteen and less than eighteen. 4 of them knew what a GPU was and 32 didn't know what a "PC" was. Only three knew you could actually build one.

Another fucking story with the famous idiot.
 
Him: Fuck you.
 
Me: Why?
 
Him: You said you wouldn't let me help you with your Unity game cuz I don't know "code"?
 
Me: And?
 
Him: I do know code.
 
Me: Which language?
 
Him: Code.
 
Me: What?
 
Him: Cod-
 
Me: No, I heard you perfectly well. But this is like me saying I have a car, and you ask which car it is, and I reply "a car". What the hell. Which compiler do you use, what do you write your code in?
 
 
Long story short: this kid thinks that knowing how to use a Terminal/The Command Prompt is knowing "code".

I can't even blame the chaps.