When masturbations lost its fun you're fucking lonely.

Don't overstretch the issue

masturbation is like scratching an itch. it temporarily relieves it,, but it will only continue to get worse until you stop walking in poison ivy and put some anti itch creme on it

speaking of which anyone want some beef jerky?

outside of your terrible pun, yes I want some maple buffalo bacon, I've been wanting some all month, but I can't afford it right now

Just put some Deep Blue on it. 

https://www.doterra.com/US/en/p/deep-blue-rub