Master-Sacker

The Intel Core M is a great mobile proccesor, as it doesnt consume alot of battery and is made for passive cooled laptops, I'd go with the zenbook, as it is often compared (or considered better) than the more expensive 2015 Macbook

get a screenshot app from the store.

you need to be jailbroken and use a tool to "restore" to the iOS version you need to

LG is a big company they don't just make flagships destined to north american markets the make a ton of phones for international markets.

actually, no. the LTE/3G models have A-GPS and GLONASS

there is no GPS on the WiFi model, I think you can connect to your phones hotspot.

http://www.gsmarena.com/results.php3?mode=tablet&nPriceMax=450&nRamMin=3000&nDisplayResMin=2073600&fDisplayInchesMin=8.5

Apple Support their phones for a lot longer I would say when you're ready to switch to Android, or two iPhone gens from now

My personal favorite has to be LEMMiNO aka Top10memes, you should check him out he makes great videos just not a lot of them, I also sometimes watch CrazyRussianHacker or videogamedunkey for the lulz

only 100 USD 2gigs Lollipop phones are the YU Yuophoria http://www.gsmarena.com/yu_yuphoria-7241.php , and Huawei Y6 http://www.gsmarena.com/huawei_y6-7440.php, so yeah check em to see if they're worth it, Yuphoria has the better selfie cam and Cyanogen mod, and theoratically the Y6 has the better shooter.

I think a lenovo yoga might be better: 1-preforms better 2-tablet mode so more versatile 3-cheaper http://www.amazon.com/Lenovo-2---1-Touch-Screen-Laptop/dp/B013OO0GHA/ref=sr_1_4?s=pc&ie=UTF8&qid=1453546771&sr=1-4&keywords=lenovo+yoga

Maybe this ?

I see that everyone is suggesting linux distros and tbh most of them will work very well, but have you thought about Remix OS, It's an Android based OS that is very easy to use, and after you install playstore on it, you have unlimited apps to choose from.