Grifster9

Stand/sit in the corner...
 
Just touch a piece of metal that's bare (like a PSU or case) or metal that is connected to a grounded outlet while OFF (like a PSU). 

Well, I had 2.
 
On a Facebook group I’m in, one guy asked if he could swap the GPU on his laptop, which was what looked like an aging Lenovo IdeaPad with a first-generation Core iX (likely Core i3) processor. 
 
Though perhaps the best one was a guy who just purchased an Oculus Rift and asked whether his Intel HD4600 was able to run it, and then asked whether upgrading to a Core i7 would make it playable.
 
I mean, wouldn’t it be wise to ask around before committing to such an expensive purchase??

So at the school we go to we all get Surface 3 tablets. So one day i walk into class and there is a kid sitting there using it and the back of the laptop is all black. I asked why that happened and he said that he overclocked the CPU in it, which he thought was an i7 (its an atom), and he overclocked the GPU (which it has non, intel hd). I told him that you first off can't overclock the CPU and there is no GPU besides intel graphics. He then goes to say im wrong, pulls up the surface website to prove im wrong, and shows me a top of the line Surface Book. I told him that is not the same and he says that its a surface so it is the same. Also my "tech" teacher was walking around class and saw that one student was booting up the computer and the computer automatically did a disk check. She immediatly assumes he is hacking and gives him a referal. Some people are just so dumb it boggles my mind.

My dad got sent an email once saying he been the winner of a competition to win a free cup holder. all he had to do was download a file. the cup holder was his CD drive opening

+123 isn't India.... 
Just for future reference the international calling code for India is +91

Telling people they need a crossover cable to use DSL and that they need to switch wires around at the phone box....
I don't even  

Grandfather passed last year and was going through all his tech to see which was sellable, which was junk and which my grandmother might want to keep.
 
Got to a rarely used but fairly modern printer (all in one fax, scanner, the works). Scanning worked fine, so went to make a copy and paper jam. All looked fine from the front - the paper didn't even seen to move from the tray - so tried again. Still said jam. Opened up the fuser assembly and the thing was guttered and stuffed with about $10k US dollars (in Australia).
 
I always store my excess cash in my printer too, but I don't ever recall mentioning to him that it was a good idea for him to do it,

In this post, you have a relative asking you to delete their child porn search history because they don't even know how to do that...
 
But now you can't figure out why people don't know how to encrypt their hard drives?

Not sure if I cant post this or not but I worked in a pc repair shop for my work experience and I came across child porn. Called police, got arrested and thrown in prison to rot for 14 years  

Well yesterday my neighbour asked me to have a look at his laptop because it just wouldnt turn on , I was on my way out at the time so I said leave it with me and Ill sort it for you , he wasnt keen on the idea but did leave it .
As soon as I got back home he rushed out to see if I was going to do it and I told him yes later but he seemed so low I said Id have a look right away so I plugged it in and nothing so next option I checked the fuse and plugged it back in again and it fired up , he snatched it up so fast he broke the screen so I asked "wtf did you do that for" and he broke down told me he was gay and that his wife didnt know and was worried Id find out when the screen came up and Id tell her !!!!
Im having a bloody strange day !

i wasn't really a techie back when this happened and i was quite young but i knew a decent bit
so i was convinced that a school pc had a virus because most of the people who went just clicked on fishy things like fake download buttons on ads and i told the people there and...
instead of getting an it guy to check it or replace the hard drive or anything else
they replace the MONITOR

It isn't really non techie, but yeah... This kid who was brought by my mum for me to look after as a favor for her mum (>_>), he would always ask 'is this GTA?' or 'Do you have GTA?'. I play Mafia III (with a big MAFIA III on the main menu) 'hey is this GTA?' 'no I don't have it' (although I did have it, I just wanted to play myself without letting him play yeah I'm bad) then after a few minutes 'Hey do you have that game... GTA?'. I watch an episode of Suits, and he says 'Oh so this is GTA!' I mean FFS you're 11 you can use your eyes to distinguish between a TV SHOW  and a GAME

My dad thinks everything is a CPU.
 
"Hey Andrew, can you plug this into the CPU?"
 
"So (C:) is the CPU, right?"
 
"Will this put a virus on my CPU?"
etc.

This is the actual text from a ticket received last Friday:
This was for a thin client stationed out on a factory floor. The problem with the thin client? It was turned off. Solution: pressed the power switch to turn it on. 

Funny for us but must have been a little rough for her since she used to be one of the first to know how a computer works and now her son needs to explain everything. 

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on my asus motherboard, the HD audio headers aren't labeled properly. they're not even documented as HD audio headers.
 
the first case I got for that computer had USB 3 on front panel, but it was made before USB 3 headers were a thing apparently, so the USB 3 plugs were just fancy extension cables, they're supposed to plug into the back of your motherboard.
 
Yeah, that's right.
 
USB -> USB 3 front panel -> Cables -> The back of your motherboard

i find it funny when folks cant handle tech my mom keeps on freaking out when her internet seed lowers for some reason, and she screams at me to chceck if someone is hacking it, i just wait like a minute or so and scream back that is good

I have a story about a family member in India having trouble with downloading apps from the apple store (thank god they haven't tried to use a pc), I explained that you need the password to your apple ID to do that, and if you don't, go though the apple website to reset it.
 
First off, they don't know what a website is, so I gave them a link and told them to put it into Safari, which they didn't know existed, after explaining where Safari is, I said to follow the instructions on what to do.
 
A day later, they called back, apparently they didn't understand what to do, and didn't even have the password or reset details to their email. So they went to some random shop, not the real apple store and payed them 100 rupees to format the phone and were then instructed to create a new Apple ID, so then I asked if they had a backup, which the answer at this stage is obvious, so they ended up losing all their data and apple ID before going to a real apple store and sorting it out.
 
This was honestly a whole new level of non-techiness I still to this day don't think they know how to use a phone, let alone a pc or anything else

Never had any issues with AVAST. 

and here i am , w/ no antivirus and no issues in almost 2 years of doing so , odd 
 
maybe i just use a proper adblock and don't click on shady links on shady sites ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
 

My funniest experience with a non-techie was with my cousin, he gave me 1500US$ and told me to buy him good computer parts and build it for him, after buying the parts i went to his house and we spent 3 hour building the computer because i had to keep explaining to him everything after building the computer i told him "its done" he was like "can i power it on" i was like "sure", he went to the screen and kept pressing the power button on the screen, because the power button had on symbol and he just kept pressing the button, i was like "what are you doing" he said "im powering on the computer" i just started laughing like a maniac, he looked at the case and was like "oh". That was one of the funniest things that happened to me in a long time, thankfully the computer turned on and everything was well.

Had a bunch of old motherboards and CD drives up at the high school because I was teaching a small handful of students about computer hardware, troubleshooting, and basic networking. Some other girls outside of my class came in and took pictures of the motherboards to put on Snapchat, captioning it with "only us smart people understand," as if she knew what it was. Was tempted to ask her to identify the components I had up at the school but I wasn't about to start anything.

Taking an i7 sticker and changing the 7 into a 9 doesn't change to CPU inside...

people in my school were using a can of compressed air without the needle thing to clean a keyboard and using it while it was facing toward the ceiling and said it didnt clean it