iLenovo

I was trying to setup Linux on a cheap Walmart pc I purchased for fun, turns out it’s absolute hell to find it. During my adventure, I went to find my mobo model and apparently the version number is “sex”
 
https://imgur.com/a/VEwRI

I take it that you're in the US, and have access to Bestbuy. They have a couple moderately priced IBuyPower machines on their shelves that are pretty decent. Just chuck the stupid pseudo gamer grade peripherals in the garbage and you'll have a decent computer for a price that I couldn't beat on PCPartPicker. 

This one here isn't bad but I would check out what they have on their shelves. You can always talk to a geeksquad rep. I know the 5 of them at my local store personally and I would trust all of their suggestions. I would hope that this is the case nationwide, but alas, you have some really stupid people wearing the geeksquad logo on their pants (and shirt, and shoes, and belt, and tie). 

Full disclosure, before becoming an electrician I worked at geeksquad. We spent our time shaking our heads at the stupid PC sales reps and fixing their mistakes. Don't trust a blue shirt. 

Today, my only working computer (atm) decided to kill all the ports. I turned it on, usual whiiirrrr, and I noticed the monitor and everything connected externally did not light up. The keyboard did not light up, the mouse did not light up, and the monitor didnt even try. I took a device that measures USB electricity and it had no current at all. The computer still turns on fine, but nothing connected to it will work. The computer is a Lenovo Erazer X315. So far I'm having a joyous time typing this on a backup Linux computer that is running Kali. Help is greatly appreciated.

Today, my only working computer (atm) decided to kill all the ports. I turned it on, usual whiiirrrr, and I noticed the monitor and everything connected externally did not light up. The keyboard did not light up, the mouse did not light up, and the monitor didnt even try. I took a device that measures USB electricity and it had no current at all. The computer still turns on fine, but nothing connected to it will work. The computer is a Lenovo Erazer X315. So far I'm having a joyous time typing this on a backup Linux computer that is running Kali. Help is greatly appreciated.

What can I do?

Guys please. 

What can I do?

This is not a meme. I am legitimately looking at a ruined future. How can I keep them from tracking my IP? Or recover that gmail account that I probably used 10 Minute Mail as the backup.

This is not a meme. I am legitimately looking at a ruined future. How can I keep them from tracking my IP? Or recover that gmail account that I probably used 10 Minute Mail as the backup.

Just blame Windows 10 forced updates.

It's easy.
 
On firefox, click with the right button on your username and select inspect element.
 
Expand the selected part and double click your username.
 
Edit it to whatever you want and close.

I don't own your HP so I can't be sure. Just scroll through the tabs with your keyboard if it is an older BIOS and mouse if it is new, and then look for "Secure Boot". You will have to highlight it and then disable it.
 
EDIT
 
Wow...did you just change accounts?

What's ironic is that I just upgraded to AT&T DSL via Ethernet (usually faster) and I hit speeds of 158 Mbps download and 123 Mbps upload.

you can't give yourself the best answer that is just not right man

Great post but your signature isn't CoC complaint, fix it before a mod catches you.

No, this is normal, the more files installed the longer it will take. Dont stress it out. When your computer boots back up to the Were getting things ready for you and then eventually to the login page, wait at-least 10-15 minutes to login, your computer needs to boot all of its files back to new.

Another recommendation: I use Webroot SecureAnywhere, so if I install a something and it has adware like Pokki it will either block it and prevent it from opening or it will say it detected a virus, delete it, monitor it, and then rescan.

Another recommendation: I use Webroot SecureAnywhere, so if I install a something and it has adware like Pokki it will either block it and prevent it from opening or it will say it detected a virus, delete it, monitor it, and then rescan.

Thank you for your help!

Most of my fans only seem to run at about 1800rpm but my CPU fan just barely spins. Tried looking in bios to see fan control but couldn't find it. Please help me!