Cree340

What The Fuck!

my friend was going to buy pc parts and i was going to build him a pc (has been the plan for a year now, all that was left was to see how much money he could save up), and when he asks his dad to exchange cash for a transfer so that he could buy parts for a pc he is going to get built for him his father forces him to buy an asus "gaming" pc with an i7 3gb ddr3 unlisted gpu specs and a 250w asus/weird name psu. (he spent 2000ish us dollars on that junk when he could  have gotten much more)

complete and total rant. but fuck it. it fits here.
green is me
red is my mom 
 
 
 
''mom can i please go take cared of my computer, i need to turn on a few fans or it will over heat''
''computers dont over heat''
''yes actually they do''
''mine never does, so why would yours''
''yours actually over heats all the time, and you just yesterday asked me to fix it but you wouldnt let me open your laptop up to do so''
''no that was to fix it from hitting tj max, like the error said''
''tj max is the definition of overheating''
''no, otherwise it would jsut say overheating''
''mom can you please just listen to me for once?''
''you know what faggot? i am the parrent and can do whatever i want. now shut up. clean the kitchen. and get out''

Working as High school IT support - kid comes up to me for help.
 
Me: Hi, what do you need?
Kid: I need to connect my Macbook to the projector in a room can you help?
Me: What seems to be the problem? Is it plugged in yet?
Kid: The teacher said I need an adapter...
Me: Ah ok, do you know what kind?
Kid: Yes its a HDMI to windows port thing adapter.
Me: ._.
Kid: *points to a VGA port on my PC*
Me: .___.
 
 
 
 
 

I had a part-time job during college working at Radioshack. Some of the people that would come in and ask questions would make me want to gouge my own eyes out. Retail ruined my attitude towards people. An example:
 
Me: "Welcome to Radioshack! How can we help you today?"
Customer: "Hi yes my son says I need a cord for my TV."
Me: "Of course! What kind of cord do you need?"
Customer: "I think I need one of dem H - M - D - 1 cords for my 1980's VCR."
Me: *dies internally*
 
 
Bonus story:
 
Me: "Welcome to Radioshack! How can we help you today?"
Customer: "I need a power adapter for my ______________"               (AC-DC converter)
Me: " What voltage do you need? Also, what size plug do you need?"
Customer: "Uh I don't know, aren't you supposed to know these things?"
Me: *dies even more internally"
 
(For those of you who don't know, we sell several different power adapters with over 20 tip sizes, leading to hundreds if not thousands of possible combinations)

Remember this?  

Read the comments <3     http://imgur.com/gallery/Gt3fqu8
Your welcome.

This question on yahoo answer doe...
 
My answer is in yellow.

 
This gave me an idea. Maybe I should make a website called downloadmorebluetooth.com.

Hey strm don't mind me I'm just gonna post some Yahoo Answers stupidity.
 

 

 

I don't think this guy is really a non-techie, but the advice is noooooooooo
 

This is what I get for becoming the "IT guy" in my department
 
 
AND another one for the "why the fuck are this people even allowed to get their hands on a computer"
 
I might become a regular here
 
My friend has a laptop for me to fix. She wanted me to reinstal windows cause she thought there was some urgent problems. When I first turned it on, I am greeted by the sound of those thermal printers that prints on papers with perforated sides. I'm not even exaggerating. I'm thinking of how badly this girl must've treated her laptop or maybe how poor she was that she can't afford a new one...........wait, isn't that an ipad and an iphone that she has?
 
And so, after painfully booting into the desktop, I see nothing wrong with it. The laptop boots relatively quickly, it was rather responsive, and there wasn't too much clutter. When I asked her what the problem was, she said that I should see it on the bottom right corner of the screen. If you guess "Windows activation", get yourself a cookie. Turns out she wanted me to reinstal her windows just for that little bitty thing. I told her that it doesn't require a reinstal and that everything is fine and could be solved in other ways, but she insisted. And so here I am typing away while windows is "Expanding Windows files (4%)" thinking, "Maybe I should move and start anew, keeping my savvyness to myself

Me: *on this very thread*
Friend: ohh, Linus tech tips eh?
Me: yeah what about it
Friend: so is that linus like the guy who invented Linux?
Me: palmface

so this just happened. 
told mah hubby over steam. 
her-uh goes. 
 
5:43 PM - BurgerBum: mom: 5:43 PM - BurgerBum: oh my GOOOODDDD 5:43 PM - BurgerBum: my computer is so slooowwww 5:43 PM - BurgerBum: me: hm? 5:44 PM - BurgerBum: mom: its all your games you play on your computer.... 5:44 PM - BurgerBum: me: my computer has nothing to do with yours, and i havent played many games in like.... two weeks 5:45 PM - BurgerBum: mom: well its slow and i dont like it! 5:45 PM - BurgerBum: me: i can make it much faster, if you'd let me? 5:45 PM - BurgerBum: mom: no its fine. 5:45 PM - BurgerBum: me: 20 bucks. fastest computer you've ever seen. 5:46 PM - BurgerBum: mom: its fast enough already.

Should I make a Yahoo Answers screenshot everyday? There's gold on there

Try lynda.com if you delete your PC on accident

^ This....

Client calls in saying one of her email accounts isn't receiving mail on Outlook but is on her phone.
 
I remote on, notice Outlook saying it isn't connected and requires password in the corner. Click on that, get prompted for details for the email that isn't working. Client tells me that doesn't work so she ignores it...
 
 
EDIT:
It's been like that for months.

<cough>BOTTLENECK!!</cough>

My dad just bought Advanced Warfare for his computer. It is a Lenovo H530s with a Pentium Dual-Core G3220 @ 3.1 GHz and 4 GB DDR3 RAM... No graphic card.. He keeps trying to max the graphics @ 1440p. He told me to make it work, and I showed him a 970. He yelled at me saying "This computer is more than powerful enough to let me play Zombies!" No dad.. I finally got it to fun at 30 FPS at 1024x768 with everything on low

Who said they only have to be negative experiences with non-techies?
 
My grandfather's girlfriend (my grandmother died 13 years ago) answered a question from my uncle (one generation younger than her, she's like 80) which was "What does BCC and CC do in an email?" - she said "One is for sending it to multiple adresses, and the other is so others cant see the adresses. So companies can't just send emails to everybody who they found their adresses of"
I was genuinly impressed, I didn't even know which one did what, mostly because I don't use Outlook or whatever it is called nowadays.

The people programming the software thought "Why take the time to gray out the check box? no one would be dumb enough to un-tick the application that they want to install..."
 
Boy were they wrong....

I have a MBP retina (probably gonna get hate over it) and because the screen is glass, people constantly touch my screen thinking that its a touch-screen and leave their fingerprints everywhere. Also another one, (probably said before) people who think that you are only playing games when you are on a computer or some people that think you are "hacking" when all you did was use Terminal or CMD to diagnose some issue on your own computer. Lastly, people thinking that Wifi is faster than wired Ethernet cabling (As long as its not like Cat3 or Cat5 with some Hub instead of a switch).

thers a family my mom is close friends with, thier eldest daughter kattherine and i were messing aorund in their basement (1 no, not that kind of messing around, 2 we both are already taken, 3 we're like sisters who only talk like once ever 6 months)
 
so i find an old pentium 3 system, and open it up for nastolgia's sake. 
''whats that?'' she asks.
'its a dinsaour of a computer... late 90's early 00's i'd say by the looks of the case' (i hadnt figured its specs yet)
''thats not a computer'' she replies.
''uhm.. yes it is''
 
she jogs upstairs. 
i hear somethign about computers being said while i figure out thats its a p3 system with a quater of a gig of ram. 
she comes running back down to me, holding a macbook (the ultralight one, macbook air is it? seriously fancy naming is stupid. ''i got the powerfull one'' is better than ''i go thte pro'')
 
'this is a computer''
yes. indeed it is. *pats her on the head* so is this. yours is just shiny, newer, and a laptop. 
 
she stares at me for a couple minutes while i disect the machine, rebuild and get up and running, watching as the OS boots up. 
 
 
 
so yeah. 
if you're gonna homeschool your kids. 
make sure to let them outside a few times a month or whatever. 
laptops erent the only computers on the planet. 

Today on Yahoo Answers

I have a decent one.
 
So i was talking to my friend about computer parts and how they were superior to Xbone and PS4, and he goes "Don't you need like millions of dollars to run these games?" And i said no of course, a few minutes later i then mention Water cooling, then he says "Limme go grab a water hose and let's water cool the Xbone, it's the same thing right??" (Facepalm ensues. my hand and my face had a good reunion.)

I never learned to type properly.