I think there will be greener pastures for you. Try to always stay mentally strong and positive even when things may look really rough and try to commit to the things you enjoy or want to be in life. It's great that you are actually sharing your feelings because talking to someone and sharing your thoughts really makes going through tough times easier. 

I think there will be greener pastures for you. Try to always stay mentally strong and positive even when things may look really rough and try to commit to the things you enjoy or want to be in life. It's great that you are actually sharing your feelings because talking to someone and sharing your thoughts really makes going through tough times easier. 

yea i find it easier to share on the internet semi anonymously on the internet rather than the people i know

There is. Trust me. :)

Both elation and misery intertwine to form your living experiences. We are all subject to the human condition. Do your best not to fret or fall into despair when confronted with the ugly side of life. A good friend once told me that you cannot seek happiness to find it. You must accept happiness now, and carry it forward with you. Your parents experience the same struggle, confusion, anxiety and perceived injustice that you do. We are sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, children, men, and women. It is not easy to pull yourself from sadness, nor calm yourself of excitement. But remembering how similar we all are, respecting those with more experience, and staying true to your full and open heart, will help when trying to make sense of this crazy thing we call life.

 trying to make sense of this crazy thing we call life.

as reddit would say THIS