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I was sick in the head. (long read)

-TesseracT-
By -TesseracT-
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I am 16 years old. This is the story of when my life became very bad.

 

I'm a male who is turning 16 in two weeks, and in Sweden, near Gothenburg. I've always had a pretty decent life, one where I had video games as my primary and pretty much only interest. I was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome about 5 years ago. Recently I was diagnosed with ADHD as well. I went to a school when I started 7th grade that was aimed specifically at people at me, people with certain issues. 

 

My hell began in 9th grade. My world was about to fall apart. I had been noticing that I was feeling more and more lonely, because of my lack of friends. I also wanted a girlfriend. I started chatting with girls and really enjoyed it. But then I don't know what happened. I started provoking the girls I talked to, leaving them no choice but to block me. I normal conversation was typically full of me talking about how I wanted to have sex with girls, and a few sexual fantazies I had. That's not all though. I began to tell them that I wanted to do. I don't want to break the rules so I'm going to leave it at that.

 

For a few months, I did nothing with my life but chatting with girls, and I found it harder and harder to concentrate in school. It became evident that I was getting depressed. I don't really know why that was, I guess I was lonely and bored in life. I was mental. I could have inappropiate conversations with 10 girls at the same time.

 

In March 2014, four girls reported me to the police for what I did to them. The police took my phone, my computer and my PS3. At that time all I had was my guitar, but I couldn't look up tabs. I used my older phone that I was alllowed to use to chat with more girls. I told my psychiatrist this and I lost my phone again. 

 

At this time until school ended in June, I provoked other students all the time. I was so depressed, I often thought about suicide. Three months after I lost my computer and PS3, I got them back, but not my phone. My doctor gave me medicing against depression and coercion. She said I had compulsory thought about doing very bad things to girls. 

 

After two months, they started to help. In the months following, I was depressed about 50 % of the time, not as severely though. 

 

Today I was at my trial. It is very likely that I have to pay around 5000$ in damages to these girls, and I will loose my phone. I have to sell my gaming computer, and I won't recieve any student grants for a long time. There goes my 150$ a month. That's if it's that bad. 

 

It makes me so upset, because these girls didn't seem like they got hurt at all. Note that I only talked to a like 30 minutes with three of them. They still went to school, and were still fine after that. They said they were a little scared at first and that they know are more careful when they chat to people on Facebook.

 

The fourth one is the worst though. We talked for several months, and she didn't do anything at all. She just started provoking me and shit, and some times she even replied to my messages postively. When she finally blocked me, she didn't report me. She got a call from the police instead, I don't have to explain how. It makes me so mad, she told me things like she had been having sex with a 23 year old against a tree and stuff, and she called me gay. She doesn't seem upset at ALL, and yet she wants more than 1000$ for this. 

 

If this goes through, then fuck. I'll still have my guitar and school computer though which is powerful enought to play games released prior to 2010. It can play Portal 2 in 1080p on high though (60fps steady) :) I will get my mums iPhone 5 when she switches in May. 

 

I have to say that I'm not like this anymore. I regret everything extremely much, and I'm not a bad person, believe me. I'm not depressed anymore, and feel like the things I wrote were absolutely sick. I was sick, I really was. I'm really sorry for that. I have a new life now, one where I'm a happy person. I also have new friends in my new school, and look at the future postively. I'm going to be a game programmer hopefully, that's what I'm studying to be.

 

Anyways, thanks for everyone reading this. I wanted to share this with you, I just did. Bye :)

 

EDIT: I forgot to mention that I will receive the judgment in one week.

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Everything is gonna be okay dude.

"Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength" Arnold

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We have all done stupid shit, we all have regrets

 

But I am glad you learned from them, hopefully you will not let yourself be in that state again, it should help you maintain a more positive outlook on life

 

If you ever feel yourself slipping just remember how bad this situation was, it should work as a kick up the backside to keep getting on with your life, and enjoying what you can at every opportunity :)

 

I wish you luck

Desktop - Corsair 300r i7 4770k H100i MSI 780ti 16GB Vengeance Pro 2400mhz Crucial MX100 512gb Samsung Evo 250gb 2 TB WD Green, AOC Q2770PQU 1440p 27" monitor Laptop Clevo W110er - 11.6" 768p, i5 3230m, 650m GT 2gb, OCZ vertex 4 256gb,  4gb ram, Server: Fractal Define Mini, MSI Z78-G43, Intel G3220, 8GB Corsair Vengeance, 4x 3tb WD Reds in Raid 10, Phone Oppo Reno 10x 256gb , Camera Sony A7iii

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I could say many things to this, but i will say only one. Good luck

 The Wannabe is no longer. Replaced by the Flotilla. If you replace every part of a computer is it still the same computer?

Survived the Survivor 2299

Audio Engineer, Lighting Programmer, Video Engineer, FOH.

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We all make mistakes. I'm not really mentally ill, but I have done stupid things before, like stalking girls, Good luck, bro. You need it.

"If it has tits or tires, at some point you will have problems with it." -@vinyldash303

this is probably the only place i'll hang out anymore: http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/274320-the-long-awaited-car-thread/

 

Current Rig: Intel Core 2 Quad Q6600, Abit IN9-32MAX nForce 680i board, Galaxy GT610 1GB DDR3 gpu, Cooler Master Mystique 632S Full ATX case, 1 2TB Seagate Barracuda SATA and 1x200gb Maxtor SATA drives, 1 LG SATA DVD drive, Windows 10. All currently runs like shit :D 

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stalking girls

 

My all time favorite, done it so many times. AHAHHA good old times

"Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength" Arnold

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I don't quite get how you're going to be fined that much for a non-violent offense, especially if your medical report is brought up during the trial. Are you sure you're going to be found guilty?

      

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My all time favorite, done it so many times. AHAHHA good old times

Over Facebook, social media, in person. You name it, I've done it.

"If it has tits or tires, at some point you will have problems with it." -@vinyldash303

this is probably the only place i'll hang out anymore: http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/274320-the-long-awaited-car-thread/

 

Current Rig: Intel Core 2 Quad Q6600, Abit IN9-32MAX nForce 680i board, Galaxy GT610 1GB DDR3 gpu, Cooler Master Mystique 632S Full ATX case, 1 2TB Seagate Barracuda SATA and 1x200gb Maxtor SATA drives, 1 LG SATA DVD drive, Windows 10. All currently runs like shit :D 

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I don't quite get how you're going to be fined that much for a non-violent offense, especially if your medical report is brought up during the trial. Are you sure you're going to be found guilty?

Yes I'm sure, I've already plead guilty a long time ago. But yes it is weird.

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Over Facebook, social media, in person. You name it, I've done it.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Because he had a hard drive.

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Over Facebook, social media, in person. You name it, I've done it.

 

Well welcome to the club!

"Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength" Arnold

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Well welcome to the club!

First rule of the LTT Club is, Don't be friends with the NSA.

Because he had a hard drive.

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Best of luck to you mate!

 

I wish I could say something about this but I have no idea how laws there work... Nor do I have any idea of how it was like to live like that...

 

But... do rest assured as the community will always be here...

 

Once again, best of luck... and stay strong...

Mutsuki:

CPU: AMD A8 5600K @ 4.2GHz | Motherboard: Gigabyte GA-F2A55M-DS2 (rev. 1.0) | RAM: 2 x Kingston Low Profile 4GB 1333MHz | GPU: Sapphire R7 260X OC 2GB DDR5 2xDVI | HDD0: Seagate Barracuda 500GB 7200RPM 3.5" (SATA II) | HDD1: WD Elements (WD Blue 1TB 3.5" SATA II) connected via USB 2.0 | HDD2: Seagate Barracuda 1TB 7200rpm (SATA II) | DVD: Samsung DVD+RW combo drive | PSU: FSP Hexa 600W | Case: Aerocool PGS V | Cooling: DeepCool Gammaxx S40 (stock fan), 2x 120mm Aerocool fan 1xDeepCool 120mm fan from a scrapped heatsink

eMachines D732Z | CPU: Intel Pentium D P6100 | GPU: Intel HD 3000 | RAM: 2x Kingston ValueRAM 2GB 1066MHz SODIMM | HDD: Hitachi 320GB 5600RPM

Acer ES13 | CPU: Intel Pentium N4200 | GPU:  Intel HD 505 | RAM: 1x 4GB (unidentified) DDR3L | HDD: (unidentified) 500GB 5600RPM

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Best of luck to you mate!

 

I wish I could say something about this but I have no idea how laws there work... Nor do I have any idea of how it was like to live like that...

 

But... do rest assured as the community will always be here...

 

Once again, best of luck... and stay strong...

Thank you! You guys are so kind :)

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Dam, hopefully all goes well in the future man. 

Sucks to being going through those times in life, though hopefully you don't get fined too much. 

Wish you all the luck possible, stay strong man. 

CPU: Intel i7 8700K | CPU Cooler: be quiet! Dark Rock Pro 3 | RAM: Kingston HyperX 2x8GB | Motherboard: Asus ROG Z370-E | GPU: MSI GTX 970 | HDD: Seagate Barracuda 1TB & 2TB | SSD: Samsung 840 EVO 250GB & 970 EVO M.2 500GB | Case: Phanteks Enthoo Evolv X | PSU: Silverstone Platinum Strider 1100W | Monitor: AOC i2367Fh | Headphones: ATH-M40X | Mic: Antlion ModMic 4 | Keyboard: Corsair K70 RGB w/ MX Browns | Mouse: Logitech G502 HERO

 

Make sure you quote or mention the person you're replying to in your comment. Also remember to follow your thread when creating it to get a notification every time someone replies. 

Be nice and have fun. Cheers!

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Everything is going to be okay.... but 1000$ for that? What the actual fuck?

I once had one of these, now I've got this.

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First rule of the LTT Club is, Don't be friends with the NSA.

I love NSA, I am a premium member since 1979 

"Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength" Arnold

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Everything is going to be okay.... but 1000$ for that? What the actual fuck?

Translated from Swedish, "sexual assault". So not a physical assualt but on facebook. I did never threat anyone though

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First rule of the LTT Club is, Don't be friends with the NSA.

 

 

I love NSA, I am a premium member since 1979 

 

Nazi Society of America?

Mutsuki:

CPU: AMD A8 5600K @ 4.2GHz | Motherboard: Gigabyte GA-F2A55M-DS2 (rev. 1.0) | RAM: 2 x Kingston Low Profile 4GB 1333MHz | GPU: Sapphire R7 260X OC 2GB DDR5 2xDVI | HDD0: Seagate Barracuda 500GB 7200RPM 3.5" (SATA II) | HDD1: WD Elements (WD Blue 1TB 3.5" SATA II) connected via USB 2.0 | HDD2: Seagate Barracuda 1TB 7200rpm (SATA II) | DVD: Samsung DVD+RW combo drive | PSU: FSP Hexa 600W | Case: Aerocool PGS V | Cooling: DeepCool Gammaxx S40 (stock fan), 2x 120mm Aerocool fan 1xDeepCool 120mm fan from a scrapped heatsink

eMachines D732Z | CPU: Intel Pentium D P6100 | GPU: Intel HD 3000 | RAM: 2x Kingston ValueRAM 2GB 1066MHz SODIMM | HDD: Hitachi 320GB 5600RPM

Acer ES13 | CPU: Intel Pentium N4200 | GPU:  Intel HD 505 | RAM: 1x 4GB (unidentified) DDR3L | HDD: (unidentified) 500GB 5600RPM

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Translated from Swedish, "sexual assault". So not a physical assualt but on facebook. I did never threat anyone though

So in Sweden these rules seem to be kind of tough. Especially if you didn't hurt anyone.

Well good luck then and don't you dare developing another CoD when you are done with education ;)

I once had one of these, now I've got this.

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Don't worry man, shit happens. I went through some tough stuff too and it never lasts forever. Remember, only quitting lasts forever. Keep your head up at all times, you didn't do anything wrong.

Never heard of getting a fine for doing things in Facebook though. It sounds a bit extreme to me. Hope you can get away with it. :)

AND, ADHD is total bs for me. I have been diagnosed with severe OCD 2 years ago and believe me it makes your life a nightmare. You should be glad for not having something like this man.

SimRacer - Casual FSX Pilot!

 

Spoiler

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Good luck to you. My only input is that you should never use ADHD as an excuse for anything, don't even mention that you have it. ADHD is bullshit. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8, its just some made up crap to make parents think there is something wrong with their over hyper, short attention spanned kid. As someone with so called "ADHD" just forget about it.

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Well good luck then and don't you dare developing another CoD when you are done with education ;)

I promise I won't.  :D

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